I hope to get more facts and report back.
Color, texture, and odor?
Agreed. They must have been the only ones in the classroom (or that part of the classroom or something) and when the shit hit the fan, they all ratted out the one together. This is just too bizarre in any high school setting otherwise.
Squeezed one out means pinching a loaf? I thought it was the same as rubbing one out?
But…but I have cats! I always have animal feces in my house!
I’m not sure if I should be reassured or upset by the fact that my half-assed housekeeping puts our house at only Second Degree Squalor. 
If there are people in the world living lives that make taking a squat and dropping a turd where they stand okay, and watching (and smelling) someone do that okay, then I have no comprehension of the lives these people are leading. My cats don’t do that.
I think nothing can demonstrate her breeding, better than that. What a catch she is for that lucky guy or gal. Some people you just can’t allow to roam freely in public.
Charming.
When we were around eleven, me and a couple friends used to spend part of our time riding bikes & goofing off in the local church parking lot.
One day, this stupid kid Matthew announced that he had to poop, and hiked down his pants and backed up against the church’s hedge - to much protest all around.
We pointed out that we were only one block from home. “But I gotta go now!”
Soon he said he couldn’t turn back because it was already coming out.
My friend Mark walked up to him and pushed him back on his ass, making a god-awful mess.
Good times!
If this was some sort of prank or protest, that’s bad enough and makes me sad. But if the girl actually just casually took a shit on the floor in the presence of her peers, it’s simply unimaginable.
I suppose it depends on whether you clean up the turds when you notice them, pretend they’re not there, or shove over a huge stack of junk to cover them up. My understanding is that 3rd degree is when your house begins to sustain rot damage because of the accumulated sedimentary layers.
I have to wonder what a MySpace profile might contain on her.
And to think in “To Sir, With Love”, he thought a sanitary napkin burning in a fire place was repulsive.
VCNJ~
Can this have anything to do with the trend of the last fifteen years or so of laid-back, let the kid train him/herself toilet-training methods? Some kids are quite old, two or three or so before they are toilet-trained, and maybe that makes them so laissez-faire about it all.
Isn’t two or three around the normal age for toilet training? You’re making it sound like it’s over the hill.
All 3 of my kids were trained by age 3 (more like 2 and 1/2)–and none of them are laissez faire about toileting issues. IMS, voluntary control of the bowel starts at about 18 months to 2 years–it’s on a spectrum. But complete control doesn’t happen until after age 2. (my youngest is 9, it’s been awhile).
I cannot help but think that this was some kind of initiation for this girl or else she has severe emotional/mental problems. Most teens are quite shy of exposing personal habits such as this.
I wish the school would follow up with either a referral for the girl or appropriate punishment, if she’s found to be just doing it to act nasty. As well as the social mores aspect, it’s a public health issue.
Maybe she didn’t. She might have walked into the class clean-shaven, but she probably strolled out with a beard…
(Wouldn’t 3-ring paper have too much potential for paper cuts…?)
I think an appropriate punishment would be to rub her nose in it and, from now on, periodically walk up to her and say (in mock-enthusiasm) “Wanna go outside? Do ya? Do ya wannna go outside?”
In my college days, someone had shat in the men’s shower and left a note on the turd which read: “The Mad Crapper Strikes Again!” It turns out that we were the second dorm building within a few weeks to have been “struck” by this “Mad Crapper,” as it were.
Okay, reading more closely, we’re only at the First Level of Squalor. Whew. That’s a relief. (I pretend the turds aren’t there - cleaning the litter box is my husband’s job. 
)
Or alternately:
i maid u a poo, but i eated it 
[sub]I can’t believe I just typed that. Coprophagia is absolutely, utterly disgusting, even if you’re a cat.[/sub]
teh poo. it had a flavr.
But that would be corporal punishment!
No, I’m not kidding. And in some states, that’s illegal. So you have to assign a metric buttload of Saturday school days, and then bargain for the bathroom cleaning as a reduced sentence.