A “mystery pooper” who had been leaving “presents” on or near the football/track field at Holmdel High School in in New Jersey turned out to be the superintendent of a nearby school district.
No motive has yet to be revealed.
In other mystery poop news, the Colorado “Mad Pooper” appears to have a fan in Arkansas.
This is even funnier than when Zeke was the mystery pooper on Bob’s Burgers.
Mystery Poop. Always funny.
In DC, a jogger is pooping in public and leaving a dead rat next to his display. Witnesses have described him as “somewhat handsome.” There Was No Way I Could Not Post This. NO WAY. Sorry in advance. - PoPville
Nice. Maybe it’s performance art.
I would imagine a typical performance by a dead rat would be quite boring.
I didn’t say it was good performance art. 
I spent a decade in public education and every superintendent of my acquaintance was pretty much a psychopath. Not sure what it is about that job and the sort who aspire to it, but they were all very unpleasant people.
And frankly, taking repeated dumps in public would have been a refreshingly honest and direct tactic compared to what I saw them do to the teachers and kids in their districts.
What the hell is wrong with people? I went in a Wal-Mart restroom once and 2 employees were in there arguing who was gonna clean the stall. One finally said “I don’t get paid enough to do this” and walked out. I stuck around just long enough to get a whiff and ran out. Someone had smeared shit allover the walls of that stall. It wasn’t a kid because it was to the top. What adult would put their hands in crap, of their own making, I assume, and spread it allover? Ewww, just ewww.
“Mystery Pooper” sounds like a low-level super villain from the Venture Brothers. His suit would have a zipper over the butt and he’d just poop put random evil things.
OK, who remembers the “Mad Crapper” in National Lampoon’s 1964 Kefauver High School yearbook? Go, Kangaroos!
The MC was never revealed, but careful perusing of that book suggests that the culprit was the highest-ranking staff member, i.e., the superintendent. Coincidence? I think not!
Superintendents, CEOs, and so on… More are sociopaths because “git 'er dun” is much less powerful than “git 'er dun no matter who gets hurt or what rules get broken”
Though in the CEO case this shows that investors are complicit - willing to hurt people for money as long as it looks like the boss’s fault.
I opened this thread just to post this very thing. Wasn’t the poopetrator Prinicipal Humphry Cornholt, who also masqueraded as the school janitor, Humboldt Cornfrey?
“The only human waste is a waste of Time”
-Principle Cornholt, in the Yearbook
Damn, I just wrote all that from memory alone.
I hope P.J. O’Rourke hears about this. He foretold the future. (He was one of the two guys who composed 99% of that yearbook, almost a mini-novel in written mockumentary form.)
My daughter told me about this earlier. It’s one of those wtf stories. People are strange and deranged.
Time to correct both of our memory recollections, drawing from my yellowing copy of the yearbook in question.
The suspected Mad Crapper wasn’t the C. Estes Kefauver Memorial High School Superintendent, but the Principal, Dr. Humphrey C. Cornholt, aka Humbolt C. Cornfrey.
Nevertheless, P. J. was ahead of his time.
Great minds…
Now I don’t have to post this very thing
There’s a female Doper on here who has told the story of the poop-smearer in her office who also used her menstrual blood when the time was right. (Hey, where’ the vomit smiley?) Most people in the office knew who was doing this, and it took several YEARS to catch her.
When I lived in my old town, several teenagers broke into the Catholic high school during summer vacation and caused about $100,000 in damage, and in case you hadn’t figured it out already, that damage included someone having defecated on a teacher’s desk. :o Several of my co-workers who had attended that school had a rather colorful conversation about whose desk they would have liked to have crapped on when they went there. :rolleyes: My favorite part of the story: The culprit was identified with DNA, and tried to say that his twin brother had done this - and no, they were not identical. Because this happened before security cameras were the universal things they are now, they were caught the old-fashioned way - by bragging about it on social media. :smack:
I’ve got 4 little dogs that live in the back room. One (or more) of them are a periodic Mystery Pooper.
Gotta make sure they go out before putting them to bed! (I blame you, Anheuser-Busch!)
^^quit giving them beer. Problem solved. You’re welcome. (I kid)
I hadn’t thought of that…
but people tell me not to drink alone.