I had no idea you were gay!
Esprix
Fenris is gay?
two fish caught on the same hook…
Oh, c’mon, of course Fenris is gay! Let’s review a few facts, shall we?
[ul][]The wimmin of the SDMB love Fenris unconditionally.[]Fenris always wears colour coordinated socks. Most of the time, they’re even the same colour.[]Fenris decorates his posts stylishly with well-balanced vB-coding.[]Fenris loves drama, and is always hoping people open Pit Threads about him, so he can come in and strut his stuff.[/ul]All the signs are there. I realised Fenris was gay eons ago.
I knew Fenris was gay way back in the SDMB Iron Chef threads. He just looked way too fabulous in Chairman Kaga’s sequined jacket.
I’m surprised you bastards never picked up on that.
Bastards, bitches, and Montanans: It don’t get much better than this!
(We better get this lovefest moved out of the Pit before one of the Pit mods goes into insulin shock.)
I call Geeky, Royalty-Loving Russophile Bitch!
another piece of evidence - Fenris knows *way too many * show tunes.
… and paint colors.
Ooh - I want my own bitch title, but I’m no good at this…
And Fenris is a weenie poopoohead. Or something. 
(The Jack Chick of parody threads?)
Fenris is GAY?
Does that mean I have to find a new crush person? Sheesh…I don’t have time for this. I mean after all, I do have a life, and now I have to start reading every blasted thread on the board again until I find someone ELSE to have a crush on, someone who my subconscious mind can justify to itself that I have a crush on but cannot have. How do you expect me to justify Fenris to that little twit if it knows I know Fenris is gay? I mean, even my subconscious knows it can’t have a crush on a gay man, since he isn’t going to be interested in me, since I am not a guy and all? It is likely to start bugging me to find someone to have a crush on who it can justify as a likely candidate. But too far away, too young, unable to commit, etc…now THOSE things I can justify.
[sub]was that my out loud voice? :eek: [/sub]
Blast… I just don’t have TIME for this!
Y’know,
This is sterotyping.
It’s ugly.
…and it hurts.
Really.
Lots.
Lots and lots.
Especially Esprix,
You really hurt me man.
Really, really hurt me.
Lying about me like that.
I’m much hairier than you.
And I’m torn up inside that you felt the need to LIE and say otherwise.
So much that I’m tempted to start a rant about the neverending anti-gay, anti-hirsute slamfest, and then attack all you insensitive people who don’t agree with me about how much it sucks that all of you aren’t as sensitive as ME, just to bring the whole thing full circle.
Fenris, weeping in his homemade lemonade whilst listening to the Hungarian cast album of Evita! (whoever the hell the woman playing Evita is…boy can she spit bile! Even if I don’t understand the language).
Sumbitches.
I don’t wanna be a bitch. Can I be something else?
[Scotticherperksup]You have homemade LEMONADE?[/Scotticherperksup[/]
I’m doomed.
But I bet you all do, don’t you?
And I think here is where I should take a stand: those of us who are legitimatly illegitimate are pretty sick of you “tribe of fops, got 'tween alseep and awake” using our name.
A real bastard is, you know, born, not made.
A message brought to you by the Born-On-The-Wrong-Side-Of-The-Blanket Citizens of America.
Although I’m still a drooling newbie idiot, may I be your SDMB Board Crush Scotticher? I cook well and clean up after myself. I am nice and I’ve been called ‘cute’ on two seperate ocassions by two seperate people - one of whom was a complete stranger.
Err… I refrain from farting around open flames or people with a sense of smell (but not both - sorry)?
I swear I’m not asking you this because I want Fenris to become depressed because he lost a board crush and dive into an alligator pit with raw steaks nailed to his body! Honest!
[sub]And I have l33t lemonade-making skillz. Iced tea, hot chocolate - I can make all sorts of beverages.[/sub]
[sub]And I’m twice the man that Fenris is.[/sub]
[sub]Did I mention I was cute?[/sub]
Actually, I’m not a bastard, really. I’m an autochthon. Autochthony trumps illegitimacy. Neener neener.
[sup](Now you know why I am called “Mudd”)[/sup]
“Thank you for your application, Lodrain…You have excellent qualifications, and we will be considering your resume quite seriously.”