Well, my point was that it’s…you know, been done.
And that thread you linked to hurt my brain. What if Professor X just wants people to think he’s a good guy? Maybe the X-Men are really evil! And nothing in the comic books is the way we think they are! I’m not even sure what that means, but now I have to go to bed.
The Wizard of Oz ones have already been done… Wicked.
Hadn’t been done in this thread, though. 
Oh yeah? Find this untold story in Wicked (either the book or musical).
New Group Claims To Cure Homosexuality
Today a group calling itself Operation Exodoz called a press conference to announce that they could cure homosexuality. The group’s spokesman, T Woodsman, explained what the group had done for him. “Sure the surgery may seem drastic. But, I’m finally free of my unnatural desires.” The Lollypop Guild condemned the group as bigotted and without scientific support.
Tin Woodsman Found In Gay Bar
While searching Pink Floyd’s (a well-known gay bar) for evidence of a poppy ring, Quadling police found the Woodsman in the bathroom. He claims that he had been unaware of the bar’s nature and entered only to be oiled. He further claimed that his cries of “Bears! I love bears! Hey bear, come and get some!” were simply part of his retelling of an old battle with a grizzly.
Authorites urge citizens to be on the lookout for a gang of nine. This group is under the sway of a religious fanatic who has convinced them he has supernatural “powers”. They should be considered armed and dangerous and have already killed a number of law enforcement officers in several skirmishes.
Their apparent goal is the assasination of beloved local businessman and civic leader Ted Sauron. It is unclear how he has become the unwitting target for their hate, but he is being guarded around the clock by the elite Nazgul special forces team and is in absolutely no danger.
This hit squad calls itself “The Fellowship”.
Wanted:
Renegade time travelling terrorist responsible for the destruction of the homeworld and attempted genocide.
Subject changes appearance and travelling companions regularly, travels in conspicuous blue box and answers to the name Doctor.
Numerous reports from Morlock South indicate that an intruder has appeared, liberated the Food Supply (many of whom are now wandering around confused and bewildered and are expected to starve), burned the old Museum of Industry to the ground, and badly burned and blinded many members of the Staff who were trying to contain the destruction.
Elsewhere…
We have lost contact with the First Colonizing Expedition to the Third PLanet. Reports we have received indicated that there was more trouble than expected with the local wildlife and vermin, but these were steadily being taken care of. The next expedition will take more suppliesd, including antibacterial soap.
Vicious criminal causes family to starve. Glass broken, bread taken. Loss pushes shop owner into bankruptcy.
Mayor flees over Scandel when sordid past revealed at trial. Inquireres into lack background check underway.
Fine Young man assualted by hooker. No Injures to citizen, Hooker arrested.
Vicious Criminal recaptured in hospital. No patients injured due to prompt action of viligant Police Officer.
Noted Criminal drowns during rescue attempt. “Good Riddence” says guard
Waif kidnapped from innkeeper parents. Kidnapper believed to be fleeing towards Capitol.
Notorius Gang captured during extortion attempt. Victem sought as “Person of Interest”
Police Officer Disiplined over waste of Police resources. Claims to corner Long-dead thief in Nunnery after twilight chase.
Leftist Insurrection crushed by Army. Sewers searched for fleeing insurrectionists.
Noted Police officer drowns in river. Believed suicide caused by insanity.
Lovecraft, are those Dickens, or are you just dicking about?
Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.
“They took my damned Fleece!”
So complained King Aeaeetes of Colchis today after a raiding party ran off with his fabled Golden Fleece, his daughter Medea, and his son. There are reports that his son may have been killed.
The Fleece has been in the Royal family since the king’s ancvester, Phrixus, came to Colchis on its back. It has been credited with keeping up the good luck of the Kingdom.
“These damned Hellenes come along , saying they’re your friends, and they steal your family and your valuables!”
“This really gets my goat!” exclaimed the King.
Red Ribbon Robotics Bought Out in Hostile Takeover
*South City - *
To the surprise of most analysts, the Capsule Corporation’s purchase of Red Ribbon Robotics was approved by the Federal Trade Commission. Rumors of the deal had been a topic on Wall Street for many months now, but few believed it would happen due to concerns of Capsule Corp becoming a monopoly. However, as Red Ribbon’s financial straits grew more dire due to the investigations into its alleged illegal arms sales, the board of directors authorized a search for a new majority owner. Then, when Dr. Gero, the president of Red Ribbon, disappeared under mysterious circumstances, the company was forced to file for bankruptcy. Many of Red Ribbon’s competitors fought for the chance to have a share in its lucrative business, but in the end, Capsule Corp was the highest bidder.
“It was mostly a matter of being in the right place at the right time,” Dr. Briefs, the CEO of Capsule Corp, said in the press release announcing the merger.
Ichirou Testujin, who had taken up leadership of Red Ribbon, vowed to continue Dr. Gero’s work. “We will not lose sight of our vision and what got us here. We will stand up on our feet again and make Dr. Gero proud.”
Both parties declined to comment on the speculation that the collapse of Red Ribbon was orchestrated by either Dr. Gero or Dr. Briefs.
(Man, I feel like such a geek now.)
Exactly. I would have though the first one would be a tip off.
Opera House To Be Demolished
While the discovery of secret passages and apartments in and below the Paris Opera House have thrilled the city, an inspector for the Paris government sees something else. “The secret passages create extra air flow and thus a fire hazard. The secret rooms beneath the Opera House are not up to code. The problem is to extensive to renovate. The Opera House is unsafe and must be destroyed.”
So do I, but not in a good way.
Capitol sacked by enemy, ending war. City guard stupidly falls for old wooden horse trick. Reports of widepread pre-battle intoxication may also be factor.
And I for one, welcome our new Mycenaean overlords.
Well, it was for me…I was going to add to that post that you had me at “loaf of bread”, but then I’m a huge theater fag and I know Les Mis inside-out and backwards…
Actually, I was using the book more then the play, but the play does help me remembe plot points.
I read the book. Once. It was the same summer I read Gone With the Wind and I have NEVER had that much time or patience at any single point in time since.
Deranged Homeless Man Insists He’s a Son/Husband/Brother of Pottervillians Appearing on Christmas Eve, an insane man who calls himself George insists that he is the son of longtime Potterville resident Ma Bailey and the husband of town librarian Mary Hatch. He also insists that he is in constant communication with an angel named Clarence that only he can see. Authorities hope that massive doses of entrezol and high voltage will bring him to lucidity and stop his ravings about a peddler he seems to know named Zuzu.