Fictional jobs and avocations

Has anybody else ever watched a movie or a TV show and wondered what it would be like to have a certain fictional job or play a certain role in real life if that were possible?

I used to wonder, back when I was watching Sarah Michelle Geller in Buffy, what would happen in real life? Assuming that vampires, etc. were real, what would it be like in real life to be a Slayer? It would certainly be a very physically-demanding job. Even if Slayers survived, they would probably have to retire very early, like professional athletes do. What about the ramifications? I seriously doubt that a Slayer could buy life insurance. Would there be OSHA regulations? Etc.

Problem for Slayers is technically there was no retirement. It took a slayer dying to activate the next from the pool of potentials. Now that got all kinds of messed with as the show ran. So maybe now it is different and they can think about retirement.

On the other hand, Carl Kolchak could have been shipped off to prison for murdering Janos Skorzeny in front of witnesses.

What if you could actually attach a controlling mechanism to the back of a brontosaurus to get it to extract rocks from a quarry? It seems rather dangerous, and would require a very refined and specialized skill set. Would Fred Flintstone really be up for it?

Who trains the animals to do tasks in the Flintstones? Sure, you can stick any pig under the sink for a garbage disposal, or get a mammoth to stick its head through a hole in your shower, but who trains the bird to make pictures inside the Polarock camera, for example?

It’s rumored that Nichelle Nichols didn’t think much of her job as a Communications Officer. Way too boring.

Sam Slade, Robo-Hunter:

At least she didn’t have to repeat everything the computer said.

Yup.

Searching in prep for my earlier post was ineffective but there’s an apocryphal(?) story of one take of ST:TOS being ruined when Kirk asks Uhura to “Open a hailing frequency” and she faces into the camera and announces “If I have to open one more hailing frequency I’ll just shit!”

Like some of the tasks Mike Rowe did on Dirty Jobs for sadistic or playful “bosses”, these roles are “made up work.”

Similar to the question about Buffy I wonder the reponse would really be if we had super-powered individuals going around as vigilantes and villains. I suspect it would be a lot more severe than depicted in DC and Marvel comics.

And I suspect in real life fights among super-powered individuals would result in hundred if not thousands of deaths in collateral damage not to mention the property damages. I suspect insurance companies would go bankrupt and FEMA’s budget would be huge.

I would enjoy the work of a Speaker for the Dead, per the Enderverse.

I’ve always thought I’d be well suited for a job with a “00” license.

Yeah, I tried that for a while. I mean, hey, I’ve been taking out foreign spies on my own time, might as well get paid for it, right?

Well, gotta tell you, it’s not all electrocuting enemy agents in bathtubs. You have to come up with a clever bon mot as you do it!

Killing spies, tricking them into revealing their plan for world domination? Easy peasy. But learning to drive every sports car ever made? Learning Russian and ten other languages? That’s like homework.

And you have to play every casino game ever invented. Texas hold’em, okay, but ‘baccarat chemin de fer’? Have you played baccarat? No, that’s because it’s boring! No strategy, no bluffing, it’s seriously just dumb luck, so there’s no motivation to learn it. And the games go on forEVah… Oh, and talk about boring… standing in one spot while an Italian tailor who doesn’t speak measures your inseam, for your tight, uncomfortable tux. Then repeat that in Monaco, Bhutan and Hong Kong.

I could go on (memorizing thirty different deadly functions on every pencil or keychain in your pocket? Pfft, I forgot them all)…

I’d rather just have Doctor Watson’s job. Embellishing Sherlock’s adventures, and asking dumb questions for the sake of his exposition.

Paging @Qadgop_the_Mercotan… In one of the Lensman books, a Lensman meets an alien living on Pluto, and politely asks it about its job. The Lens (telepathic communication device) is able to create an English word to serve as a translation, but the alien’s physiology is so utterly foreign that the human doesn’t have any hope of understanding what it means.

Yeah. Slayers generally die young. There is reference to a Slayer who died old enough to have a 4-year old child by the time she was murdered, but that seems to be unusual (Kendra died younger than 18, and so did Buffy - the first time (she died at about 20, the second time)).

They changed that near the end of the series…Used a spell to activate all the Potentials at once. I don’t recall if that cased a permanent change to how Slaying worked, but it sets a precedent of what they can do.

Well yes. That will change everything. I was going by the classic rules.

Yes, as of the final season, and the follow-on comic series which Joss Whedon has said are canon, there are no more “potentials”. That was an artificial limit placed by the old men who originally created the Slayer as a means of control. Every girl born with the potential to be a Slayer now becomes a Slayer. It’s not clear, but seems implied that their Slayer abilities surface during puberty.

OTOH, the comic series “Fray”, which was published before Season 7 and Whedon has also said is canon, is set in a cyberpunk future, and the original rules about one Slayer at a time seem to be in force, and no one even remembers Slayers or vampires ever existed, so…

In the follow-on comic book series, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8”, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 9", et al., which Joss Whedon has said are canon, there are in fact retired slayers.

In Season 8, Buffy runs a private organization funded by bank robberies(!) for the Slayers, but it’s a plot point that she’s terrible at organizing as a viable organization.

In Season 9, everything’s fallen apart, all the various Slayers are on their own, and Kennedy (one of the main Potentials from Season 7) has founded a highly successful Private Military Contractor corporation that employs Slayers. Buffy briefly works for it before quitting/being fired after she simultaneously saves the world and nearly bankrupts the corporation.

The main characters also occasionally encounter a Slayer who’s turned her back on the whole thing and is just trying to live a normal, peaceful life.

It’s an ongoing plot point that being a Slayer isn’t actually a paying job, and Buffy constantly has to figure out how to make the rent while slaying demons and saving the world.

Heinlein’s concept of “Fair Witness”-an expert observer with a perfect memory whose testimony in court was unimpeachable. If asked in court what color a house was, a Fair Witness would say something like “The house was blue…on the side I was shown.” I could get into that type of job.