If your kid has had this thing, you know what it is. If not, then you think I’m just making things up. Fifth Disease? It’s like I’m not even trying with the name.
The Third World
The Fourth Estate
so why not
But it’s real. Oh yes, it’s real.
Since Summer Vacation just started, the boys thought “Gee! Wouldn’t it be fun to get sick? And not with a regular disease, some obscure thing with a stupid name!” So they picked up Fifth Disease. It has a real medical name: erythema infectiosum which sounds like some spell Harry Potter would cast. Or rather, Hermione since she’s better at magic than Harry. I mean, what’s Harry’s deal? Just because he was raised outside the Wizarding Community he’s no good at doing magic? He’s supposed to be just oozing natural tallent. But at least he’s better than Ron. That Ron…
Huh? Wha? Oh yeah! Fifth Disease.
It started with Soupo being a big ol’ grouch and Katcha just being a huge whiner. This was way-fun. Then Soupo started with the pink blotches on his cheeks. What’s this? We’ve never seen this before. Consulting the Big Book of Diseases Your Kid Could Have turned up nothing. Oh yeah, Fifth Disease was in there, (Oddly enough, not on page 5.) it’s just they lied to us. Right under a illustration of where to find the rash (All over the back of the child. It’s a shy rash and doesn’t want to put itself forward and be on the front.) it says, and I quote: “Apart from the rash, there are no symptoms.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong and WRONG!
How about a giant fever? Huh? That was a symptom. And the headaches? (The boys had a headache and what with the whining a griping, they gave me one too.) There’s another symptom right there. What about Soupo’s runny nose and cough, huh? What about that? And lets not forget Katcha’s monumental puking jag. (Like I’ll ever forget that. I’ll take that memory with me to my grave.) He managed to get puke everywhere, including the back of his head and the underside of the car which was, per usual, in the garage and he was in the upstairs bathroom. It was… I have no words for it.
Since what these boys were doing didn’t jibe with what the Big Book of Diseases Your Kid Could Have said should be going down, the Little Woman though a quick call to the pediatrician was in order. Well, yeah, duh! They wanted to see the boys because it could have been strep. But the boys didn’t have a sore throat. So?! Kids don’t always have a sore throat with step, silly! But I thought that’s what strep was, a real bad sore throat as the flesh eating bacteria do a number on the back of your throat. As it turns out, not always.
And it wasn’t strep after all. It was Fifth. It’s just they had their weird symptoms because no matter how benign the thing is, it’s still a viral infection and you can gets bad stuff going on.
Oh, under “Home Treatment” for Fifth Disease in the Big Book of Diseases Your Kid Could Have it says “Check that there is no fever (fever is very unusual with fifth disease).” Stupid book. We have two cases of Fifth and they both had a huge fever. I guess my kids are just unusual. (Like I didn’t know that.)
And the good news is: even after the fever is gone the rash hangs on and on for a couple weeks.
This is one fun childhood disease. I give it Two Thumbs Up!