File it under Bad Idea

[MysteryFellow63427]

@Dogface

Going into the kitchen to track down the whole banana-chocolate-brown sugar cake and cut myself a piece.

This was a bad idea… because you ended up eating the entire cake?

@Mangetout

3. Somewhere more than three 800g bars of Cote D’or dark chocolate (Just another bite won’t hurt), washed down with two pints of strong, black filter coffee - it was like having your brain levered out by a warm, black, bitter crowbar.

[Dr. Hibbert]Good Lord! [/Dr. Hibbert]
2.5 KILOGRAMS of chocolate? :eek:

[bubba_jr]

Many many years ago, I had allergic reactions to pet names, “my name is bubba call me bubba” my name’s not really bubba, I just act like it. Oh, no, DEER. After several “discussions” over this, and how I should pick a “pet” name, I said if you call me “DEER”, how about if I call you “MOOSE”. That went over like a lead balloon. Thank god I don’t have any scars, don’t have the girlfriend either, but that could be a blessing.

[elfkin477]

@neuroman

[Dr. Hibbert]Good Lord! [/Dr. Hibbert]
2.5 KILOGRAMS of chocolate? :eek:

Being a non-scientific American type, I had a niggling feeling that 2400g was quite a lot. My 11oz bag of mint M&Ms here is only 311.9g… My god that’s a lot of dark chocolate!

[friedo]

Not paying close enough attention to how close my thumb was from the bandsaw blade.

On the plus side, I now have a totally badass scar.

[Sublight]

@elfkin477

Being a non-scientific American type, I had a niggling feeling that 2400g was quite a lot. My 11oz bag of mint M&Ms here is only 311.9g… My god that’s a lot of dark chocolate!

I guess that answers how Mangetout chose his username.

[AncientHumanoid]

Another GF related Bad Idea:

While hotdogging down a damn fast tree lined slope, DO NOT turn around to taunt said girl friend. The look of utter terror mixed with righteous indignation on her face was a premonition of the pain (and the tree) I was about to experience.

[7_up_yours]

@elfkin477

While in my mid-teens, I got to thinking about the whole “you should drink 8 glasses of water a day” thing, and wondered if you could drink it all at once if you’re more prone to drinking that amount over the course of a whole day (I still assume some people “train” their bodies to accept more liquids. wasn’t there a GQ a bit ago by someone who drinks 7 liters a day?) Yes, yes you can. Don’t plan on sleeping that night, though, you’ll be up to pee once an hour.

On the same note, don’t chug a 2L bottle of ginger ale just to prove you can… two hours before bedtime. Not a good idea at all.

[ccwaterback]

Attacking Iraq. It’s kind of like poking a hornets nest with a stick, hoping you will entice them to go away.

[Spiff]

@NoClueBoy

While hotdogging down a damn fast tree lined slope, DO NOT turn around to taunt said girl friend. The look of utter terror mixed with righteous indignation on her face was a premonition of the pain (and the tree) I was about to experience.

I guess that answers how NoClueBoy chose his username.

[PalJuicy]

Prying apart frozen hamburgers with an 8-inch chef’s knife. . .

Funny how the ER assistant knew exactly what happened without me even telling him!

[photopat]

Man, I can’t remember the last time a thread had me laughing so hard I was in tears.

Okay, my turn.

1. Checking a freshly painted incinerator to see if the paint is dry by flat-palming it, while it’s burning. (6 or 7 years old and the burns weren’t too bad, but the memory lingers)

2. At age 14 trying to carry a tuba across the gym floor to place it by my seat, while the risers are already full of parents. See, the bell was only connected to the body by 3 screws around the tube, and I was carrying it by the bell. I heard a loud clang, felt the load lighten and looked down to see the gym floor through the bell. In the moment I looked around puzzled the band director’s son came over and helped me put it back together. The audience got a good laugh.

3. Getting drunk for the first time at a New Years Eve party that featured a baked potato buffet. Those were very interesting textures in the toilet.

4. Trying to drill a hole in a razor blade. It doesn’t work anyway, and if anybody wants to try it, find a better way to secure the blade than holding it down with thumb and forefinger. It wasn’t all that bad though, it only cut through the tip of the thumb and the scar is barely visible now.

[gonzoron]

Here’s a recent one. You know how sometimes a can opener doesn’t exactly work and the lid remains tethered by one or two sprues of metal? Don’t try and force the lid off with your bare hands. I don’t think my thumb will scar, but ouch.

[chappachula]

1. Lay on back under bathroom sink while using pipe wrench to unscrew the S-bend pipe, which is clogged . (file under “good idea”)

2. disconnect S-bend, carefully holding it level so not to spill the disgusting-smelling
   water which is trapped in the pipe (also “good idea”)

3. Hand the S-bend pipe containing stinky water to adjacent girlfriend ( BAD idea, very , very, very BAD idea…)

4. because girlfriend, smells stinky water,and instinctively DUMPS IT DOWN THE
   SINK , right onto my face, now looking up the open drainpipe.

[N.Sane]

lighting a cigarette with the flame of a gas stove and burning off your eyelashes

[AndrewL]

Do NOT stop the flywheel with your hand. Even if the motor is shut off and the flywheel looks like it’s spinning pretty slowly.

I didn’t quite need stitches, but there was a lot of blood.

[Kalhoun]

@chappachula

1. Lay on back under bathroom sink while using pipe wrench to unscrew the S-bend pipe, which is clogged . (file under “good idea”)

2. disconnect S-bend, carefully holding it level so not to spill the disgusting-smelling
   water which is trapped in the pipe (also “good idea”)

3. Hand the S-bend pipe containing stinky water to adjacent girlfriend ( BAD idea, very , very, very BAD idea…)

4. because girlfriend, smells stinky water,and instinctively DUMPS IT DOWN THE
   SINK , right onto my face, now looking up the open drainpipe.

Bwahahahahaha! That’s fucking hilarious!

[Count_Blucher]

Never fall in love. Especially after you’re married. If it happens to you, grab the burning hot iron mentioned by a prior poster with your bare hand. Repeat until you’re either over it or need to attach a ‘hook’ to your forearm.

[Mangetout]

@neuroman

2.5 KILOGRAMS of chocolate? :eek:

In my defence, it was consumed over the course of an entire afternoon - the coffee was just two large pint mugs though (actually, on thinking, there might have been more coffee).

Trust me, it is exactly like having your brain pried out.