I’ll start.
You know how milk, orange juice, red wine, green tea, and fish liver oil all have reputed health benefits? I propose mixing them all into one cure-all elixir! I shall name it morangedtish drink.
Your turn 
I believe it’s already called Glurge or Glop.
Let’s start the National Apathy and Procrastination Society (NAPS).
Who wants to get started on organizing it?
Have an affair with a co-worker. Don’t use protection. Brag about it to your other co-workers and your friends.
OK, I will. But I will follow through on my own idea first.
Have sex with your ex-girlfriend’s younger sister, college roommate, and best friend. Don’t even consider the possibility that you’ll date her off and on and end up marrying her ten years later.
Have ‘one for the road’.
Economy got you down?
Make money on the side by stealing stuff from your place of work and selling it on E-bay.
Tug on Superman’s cape.
Spit into the wind.
Pull the mask off the Lone Ranger
Mess around with Jim.
Get lots of credit cards and max them all out by spending on lavish meals, vacations, and other fleeting things.
Wow Winston you sure are good at this. Keep 'em coming!
I think I will go down the hall to the animal room and let all the lab rats out. They are locked in there night a day and clearly need the exercise.
The really expensive “nude" ones I will take home with me because they’re so cute.
Don’t trust banks? Keep your money in your mattress, right next to your oily rag collection.
Cross the streams.
“Time share in Orlando? Sounds intriguing. And you’ll give me a $25 Red Lobster gift card just for attending the presentation, even if I decide not to commit to the vacation plan that’ll pay for itself within ten years? Sounds great – I’ll be there Tuesday at 7 p.m. sharp!”
Lease with zero down. Finance your sales tax.
Say whatever is on your mind.
Change jobs frequently.
Apologise a lot, but don’t change.
Always use violence as your first solution. It’s fast, easy, and fun !
Remember that girls like the bad boys; get an arrest record as soon as possible.
Fire looks prettier the closer you are, so stand in that gasoline when you light it !
Adversity builds character; so always make sure that everyone around you has as tough a time as possible. Mislead them, steal or sabotage vital supplies, harass them; that sort of thing. Inform anyone who questions what you are doing by saying that it’s for their own good and why; you will be admired for your nobility of spirit.
When working for Darth Vader, if you fail in a task immediately admit your error as quickly and forthrightly as possible. And apologize, he’ll accept it !