I am a lesbian. I’m just not lesbian enough, apparently.
I have girlish crushes on one or two men. BIG FUCKING DEAL. It’s not like I care what is in their heads. Would I entertain the notion of snuggling with them? Maybe, if I was desperate and it was cold. Would I actually want to talk and have a relationship with them? HELL NO topped off with a creamy dollop of FUCK THAT!
So I casually joke about… oh… I don’t know… picturing Guy Ritchie in a speedo, and what does the (hopefully) future Mrs. Kung fu say?
You like cock too much for my liking. Goodbye!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!
I have loved her for two years! I have been in a long-distance relationship, agonized over going through customs, long-d phone bills and missing her on cold nights, and THIS is how she repays me? With distrust, insecurity and telling me I am “not gay enough”?
Way to break my heart. Why don’t you just jump up and down on it a few more times, I think my left ventricle is still intact! Excuse me. I have to sob some more and I’m afraid of shorting my keyboard.
It may not help, but it sounds like she was waiting for a cause to break it off. Didn’t matter what it was, just so long as she wasn’t blamed for dumping you.
It still feels shitty, and I feel for you. I’ve been there meself.
Explanation.
My left eye starts twitching with homicidal mania whenever I hear about bisexuals, or people who aren’t 100 percent gay, getting fucked around like this. Why do others feel so damned threatened by them?
lola, I understand you’re in pain right now, but what does your girlfriend’s reaction say about her as a person? That she’s not mature enough to accept that you are not a copy of her with different colored hair? That she doesn’t trust you enough to let a few jokes about Guy Ritchie in a speedo slide? That even after two years, she’s paranoid about you running off with someone else? You could argue that she’s being just as shallow as the most immature of the Penis Monsters.
Yeah, its cold comfort to hear that you’re better off without her, but it sounds like you are. I mean, if you’re joking about this and she’s got a problem with it, imagine what would happen if you spent a little “too much” time talking to another lesbian? So what if you had absolutely no interest in her? You’d still be attacked for being “unfaithful.” :rolleyes:
Being hetro, I’ve never understood the seeming hatred some gays have for non-gays. Makes about as much sense as the non-gays hating the gays. Come on, folks, so long as one side doesn’t try to make you switch, there’s no point in getting into a snit about who they chose to sleep with (assuming their partner is a willing one).
Well, after much over-the-phone screaming, we managed to patch things up.
But still…
This doesn’t solve the problem that I will always be a little less gay than she is. God, I love her, and I don’t see our relationship as “settling” (Ironically, she actually rescued me from “settling” with a man). I wish she would accept that I am committed to her 100%, she is it for me, and I simply don’t want anyone else.
Men? Shmen! Sure, I get butterflies looking at a pretty one every now and then, but butterflies are NOTHING compared to the way she makes me feel. I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything, and that includes “anything” that may happen to have a penis.
Without knowing either of you, I hesitate to offer any advice, but…
Just on the surface, and only on the surface, I would worry that your gf could become very manipulative if she isn’t already. And it’s all the more dangerous because of how deeply in love with her you say you are.
Will you now have to walk on egg shells when you are around her, afriad to give a guy or even another woman anything longer than the briefest glance? If she’s so insecure that she threatens to break it off with you just because of an innocent comment, then I wonder how often you are going to have to placate her and convince her that you love her.
If this is what happens to you, you’ll find it a relationship that is very damaging to your emotional well-being. And I am speaking from experience here, as someone who had to constantly prop up a wife who constantly questioned my love and devotion. Ironically, it became so taxing that it actually drove me to find someone else and to leave her. A self-fulfilling prophecy, if you will.
Find someone who will accept your love with trust. It may indeed be your current gf, and I wish you the best.
I knew she had “trust issues” when I got involved with her. She is a survivor of severe and prolonged abuse. Not only was she betrayed by her abuser, dozens of people she trusted to protect her (her mother, her teachers and the police), didn’t believe her. Coming from that situation, who wouldn’t have problems trusting?
So I cut her a little slack that way. Usually she is very relaxed, so it’s not even a problem. 90% of the time my sweetie is playful, trusting, affectionate and kind.
And then she’ll have mood swings where she is withdrawn, angry, touchy and distrustful.
I know an abusive partner when I see one. I know all the signs, and jealousy and mood swings are the Big Two. If she was getting worse and her moodiness was getting more frequent, my red flag would go up. But these episodes are happening less and less often.
None of this comforts me when we’re in the middle of an argument.I get afraid that she’ll break it off for good. And I freak.
I found some pictures of Guy Ritchie on the web (and I realize in matters of taste there can be no dissent). Maybe if your girlfriend had some input from some mostly heterosexual women she wouldn’t have her knickers in such a twist.
I’m sorry to hear she is an abuse survivor. Please take care of yourself, too.
