1-800-GOTCHA YA. In less than 2 minutes our operators can have all five colors of this amazing invention delivered to your doorstep (C.O.D.). There’s tangerine, blueberry, chartreuse, mauve, and kiwi.
In addition to all the amazing freebies mentioned above, the Megatron 5000 can be configured to split wood, clean your toilet, shear your pets, heat the house, and mow your lawn.
Act within the next 10 seconds and we’ll throw in a 55 gallon barrel of our famous Reviv-O-Cream. It can make your skin look like…
you went through hell and came back. That’s right, you’ll be the envy of your friends with that through hell look. And just so you can say you’ve actually been there, we’ll throw in the postcards, complete with a picture of…
… badgers. That’s right, like on the internet. Badger, badger badger badger badger. More badgers than you can throw a snake at. We’ll even include the mushroom, but act quickly, supllies are limited and you won’t want to miss out on this spectacular oportunity, if you call now we’ll give you the…
Yes, folks, there’s more! For the first 30 callers, we’re going to give you – yes, give you – the Minzo-matic garden tool and home dental kit! Act now, and save hundreds of dollars on dental care for you and your family! The Minzo-matic drills, it fills, it weeds and seeds! Don’t miss out on this special offer! And if you act now…
…and we’ll pull your first 2 teeth for free. Free! Did you hear me? I SAID FREE!!! It doesn’t get any cheaper than that folks.
What would you pay for this amazing set of gifts?
$499.99? Huh-uh.
$259.99? Nope.
$89.99? We wouldn’t rip you off like that.
No folks, all this can be yours for the low, low, LOW price of $29.99 in 82 easy monthly installments. CALL NOW!!! Or we’ll send two husky guys named Bruno and Lefty to come over to your house and make that call for you.
Let’s listen to one of our many satisfied customers. Here’s Mary Jo Jane Beth Ann Ramirez Chang Knucklebuck from Peach Pit, Arkansas:
"Oh yeah, I jus’ luurrrrv my Megatron 5000. It keeps mah trailer clean no matter how many gummi sharks my little ‘uns stick in it. It kin change diapers…Billy Jack Joe Jimbob, you take that diaper off yer head and put it back on your sister THIS MINUTE!..Sorry, he’s a bit off since we got his haid unstuck from the terlet…so anway, as ah wuz sayin’, it answers mah phone, plays thah harmonica meaner 'n anybody ah know, does the laundry and keeps me satisfied in bed. Yup, no need for that loser boyfriend of mine, the Megatron’s got every attachment I want (and in pretty colors too). C’mon kids! Time for Megatron’s famous mac 'n cheese and beanie weenie salad! You can watch your favorite cartoon show on his face while you eat! Billy Jack, take that toad out of your mouth RIGHT NOW! It’s lunch time, you can play with it later! So, you said you were gonna pay me in cash right? You know, for $50 more I’ll " blip
Isn’t that great folks? Another happy Megatron customer. If that doesn’t convince you that this is the deal of the century, maybe this will…