The Relaxatron 3000 allows total relaxation of the back by releasing ionic…
masseuses.
Which will rotate 360 degrees clockwise before,
loosening those tired, aching,
throbbing,
pockets of flab, literally melting the fat away so that you can see a tight six pack in a matter of hours.
Not only that but it tightens and brightens loose skin, smoothing away unsightly…
nose goblins, skin tags, and buck teeth. And by utilizing the 3-speed control you can…
peel potatoes and use the skins to…
make a pore revitalizing anti-oxidant cream, which also has the added benefit of…
…being able to take out any stain along with mildew.
And if you order within the next 15 minutes, we’ll throw in…
a six month supply of an amazing new hair removal innovation which…
will take the rust off of anything! Porcelain, old mufflers, lawn chairs! It even…
makes perfect pancakes, fried eggs, and with a simple twist creates that elegant 'do for those formal occasions! The Relaxatrom 3000 comes complete with…
the patented Relax-O-Matic™ vibrating relaxation orb, the EZ-Kleen julienne attachment and our revolutionary…
… prune-pitter. Never again will you cringe when your guests bite into a prune pit at your elegant soirees. So amazing, all your friends will…
…ask you for one of the other recipes in our latest “1001 Ways to Cook With Common Household Objects”.
Here are just some of our favorites…
the perferct Duck L’Orange cooked using a blow torch and a C clamp…hearty beef stew from the dishwasher…a toasty warm grilled cheese cooked in the electric blanket while you sleep…scrumptious bread and butter pickles made in the bathtub while you bathe! All this can be yours for the amazingly low price of…
199.98 in a series of easy monthly payments. But wait! If you order in the next 30 minutes, you’ll be able to take advantage of our introductory offer of the Relaxatron 3000, plus the free gifts you see here, and…