A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: I suppose you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says…
If this sound familiar to you here’s why: It’s a Breakfast Club reference. It’s the joke Judd Nelson was telling before he fell through the ceiling, RIGHT before he got to the punchline, which we never got to hear.
“No, but my dachshund could use a bowl of water.”
Aside: unfinished jokes are great for the old dial-a-joke shen. You record your answering machine message as "Hi, you’re reached Dial-A-Joke! Today’s laugher: [tell above joke fragment]…beeep!
Naked lady says…
Bugger off, asswipe! But get me a beer first!
“Not me, but the hair of the dog for this one.”
No, but you got any nailclippers I could borrow?
I think I started a thread about the missing punchline a while back, maybe when John Hughes passed.
Naked lady says… “No, but I’m going to need a dozen of your pickled eggs, a shot glass and a pair tongs. I call this act ‘The Aristocrats’”
“Not while I’m working.”
Naked lady says, “Weekends were made for Michelob.”
“No, but you could help me out: You see I bought this for my husband, but Fifi here has a very good nose and – well, I’m wondering if you could help me hide the salami.”
—G!
Come on, Sporto, level with me.
Do you slip her the hot beef injection?
–Bender to Clark
The Breakfast Club
“Now where the heck did I leave my money?”
Like hell, I’ll have a pitcher of margaritas. Oh, and some mouthwash for the dog.
Yes, I DO need a drink. I want a Tom Collins, but I’m too afraid ask: look what happened when I said I wanted his hot salami doggy-style?
It’s not so much a puchline as…the rest of the story:
Blonde: A drink? Don’t you care about the sex on your table?
Barkeep: What sex on the table
Blonde: I just laid a poodle there
Barkeep: I suppose you did. What are you gonna do with him now?
Blonde: I dunno. I got him expressly for that pupose.
Barkeep: I see. What’d you get the salami for?
Blonde: Two bucks a pound
I may be misremembering, but I heard once that Nelson ad-libbed this “joke” and there was never a real punchline.
Naked lady says “I don’t get it, what part of ‘very kinky’ don’t they understand?”
I could use a beer. I tried to get into Oktoberfest, but my sausage is Italian, my dog is French and I’m Swedish. Only my peasant dress was authentic.
Naked lady says: “No, but I need a cigarette. Also, let me tell you, when I went to the sausage shop down the street and asked for a salami and a hot dog, this wasn’t really what I meant.”
Alasti blondi kävelee baariin, jossa villakoira alle yksi käsi ja kaksi jalka salamia toisen alle. Hän asettaa villakoira pöydälle. Baarimikko sanoo: Oletan et tarvitse juoda. Naked lady sanoo…
Naked lady says “Man, I really screwed the pooch tonight”.
The bartender says “Well, looks like it didn’t hurt him any, but I wouldn’t eat the salami.”
“So Suomi, already!”