“uuh”
“uuh”
“UUUH!”
eeew
“uh, I gotta go”
He said it better. 
I had this beautiful girlfriend my freshman year in college. We were both 18 and virgins. Anyway, we tried to have sex a couple of times, but I couldn’t do it. I kept losing my erection every time I had to put the cold, slimy, foul-smelling rubber contraption on my penis. Of course I thought there was something terribly wrong with me, especially since the exact same thing happened with my highschool girlfriend when I was 16, and we ended up never actually acheiving penetration. Imagine what that does to a young man’s ego. I honestly believe that I feel the effect of that trauma to this day in my sex life.
As it turns out, there are two reasons I couldn’t do it, neither of which are that I am a sissy boy. First, I hate condoms. They’re decidedly unsexy, and they make me lose my hardon the first few times I have sex with someone new. After that I can usually use a condom without incident. But those first few times… ugh, condoms. Bleagh! Nowadays, when a woman wants to have sex and it’s a new relationship or something casual, I just offer to eat her out rather than having to put on a condom.
Second, I need time to get used to someone before having intercourse. Gotta work up to it, gotta take my time. It’s psychologically essential for me.
Anyway, one night, after we’d tried to do it and failed again, I was disappointed, but she was very understanding. So we just lay there and cuddled for a while. But then, little by little, we started making out again, and eventually I was ready. I put the condom back on (yes, the same one I had tried and failed with just minutes before, which is gross, but what the hell did I know?) and we managed to do it. Then we were all full of ourselves because we’d finally had sex. Like we invented it or something. We felt like superstars. Stupid, but also kinda sweet, really.
Was your first time anything like that?
Hmm. It just occurred to me that I’ve never told that story before. TMI. But I had no qualms about inflicting it on all of you, for some reason.