Fit mom posts Facebook pic along with her 3 kids asking 'What's your excuse?' - Firestorm ensues

[WordMan]

@Kable

OK again, Urban Dictionary: Duh
Do you? Seems you know asians are smarter, now tell me about average IQ of obese women. Higher or lower than the mean?
OK, so for future information, if I post a link to an onion, I know I’m posting a link to an onion.

You are missing the point. If you link to The Onion, you should be the one saying “I am linking to the Onion intentionally” in your post. No one is going to follow you around saying “oh, that’s a post from Kable- the one who links to The Onion ironically - got it.”

Also - can we just get back to the topic? We get it - you think her messaging is a legitimate approach to engaging folks who need to lose weight-exercise. Many, many other folks disagree.

That’s exactly why this woman took this approach.

Actually attempting to debate who’s “right” plays into her Machiavellian schemes!! Bwa hah hah hah!!

::clears throat; back to normal, non-maniacal voice::

Okay, now can we move on?

[twickster]

@Kable

Like eating McDonalds and watching TV? It’s not like eating less takes a lot of time in the day. Travel to Europe and people are not working out hours per day, but they aren’t fat like Americans (except maybe England).

Kable – I’m giving you a warning for trolling. This is at least the third time I’ve told you to back off the nastiness – from now on, it’s a warning every time I catch you trying to get a rise out of people in general or trying to pick a fight with a particular individual.

Note that this post is not the only example of your trolling in this thread – the previous page shows the pattern – but the way the software is written I have to give a warning tied to a particular post.

Now would be a good time to consider whether you want to be able to continue to post at the SDMB. If the answer is “yes,” change your posting style – radically, and soon.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

[Lynn_Bodoni]

Do you? Seems you know asians are smarter, now tell me about average IQ of obese women. Higher or lower than the mean?

Asians, AS A GROUP, have a higher average IQ than other populations. This does not mean that a particular Asian will have a higher than average IQ.

I don’t know about the average IQ of obese women. I know the IQ of one obese woman…it’s over 150. And yes, that was a supervised IQ test, not one of those fluffy internet self-tests. However, just because ONE obese woman has an IQ of over 150, that doesn’t mean that ALL obese women have IQs that high, or that obese women, as a group, have higher than average IQs.

[even_sven]

To bring this discussion back into the realm of reality, I do think people are taking this in the worst possible light, and there are much more innocuous, and much more likely, interpretations.

I don’t see this as “You have no excuse for not looking like me, fattie.” I see it as “Everyone can come up with any number of good excuses for not working out, but in the end if you prioritize it, you can find a way to commit to your health even if you do have some very real obstacles.” Her body isn’t displayed as some kind of personal insult to those without such a body. It’s just an example of what she’s achieved with that attitude, and a good advertisement for her knowledge about getting fit.

Think about her audience here. Personal trainers don’t market to the fat-and-uninterested-in-changing. That’d be idiotic. They market to people who are already interested in fitness and on some level would like to work out more, but aren’t currently using a personal trainer for whatever reason…such as, perhaps, making a bunch of excuses to themselves.

Anyway, as someone with a solid 35 lbs of pregnancy weight to lose (yeesh!) I don’t find this at all offensive. I didn’t look like her before I got pregnant and I won’t look like her after, but I can certainly commit to a fitness routine and get myself into reasonably good shape. Indeed, with that kind of goal, it might even be a good time to seek out the services of a personal trainer.

[QuickSilver]

So instead of saying, “What’s your excuse?”, what if she had posted her (same) pic with the following:

1. Just do it! (trademark infringement aside)
2. No pain, no gain.
3. Success has enemies.
   Would these be equally offensive? More so? Less so? Why?

Is it really about the message or is it the messenger/audience?

Are generally fit people outraged with her “callous” self promotion, or is the outrage mostly from the fatvocates, as linked in the OP?

[Skara_Brae]

@QuickSilver

So instead of saying, “What’s your excuse?”, what if she had posted her (same) pic with the following:

1. Just do it! (trademark infringement aside)
2. No pain, no gain.
3. Success has enemies.
   Would these be equally offensive? More so? Less so? Why?

Is it really about the message or is it the messenger/audience?

Are generally fit people outraged with her “callous” self promotion, or is the outrage mostly from the fatvocates, as linked in the OP?

None of those would bother me (though, with #3, I would wonder if she was calling her kids her enemies).

I wasn’t really outraged by the original, though. I did think it was a bit mean spirited and shaming. It wouldn’t draw me to her as a trainer, since I would wonder how understanding she would be of my long term injuries.

[Kable]

@CanvasShoes

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanvasShoes View Post
Here is the problem. Words DO matter. The word “excuse” is a word with negative connotations, and whether you’re talking weight loss or what have you, it’s not going to be one that will be effective.

Canvas shoes you are really reading way too much into the simple word “excuse” and trying to say it’s not jealously. Using that word isn’t “bitchy or nasty” I ran it by all the girls in my office and none of them had a problem with it.

And Christ look at the length of you last post. You doth protest too much.

[Meatros]

@Sleel

“What’s your excuse” is mostly meant to be an inspirational statement. I’ve seen several of these kinds of pictures make the rounds on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

One I remember was of a veteran who was burned over most of his body when an IED set the vehicle on fire. He was doing some kind of long-distance run. The picture deliberately focused the worst of his burns, and showed him on a road in the middle of nowhere.

Another was a guy in his 80s weight training. He was shirtless and looked like 30–40 from the neck down.

Yet another showed a group of guys — probably somewhere in Africa, judging from the reddish arid landscape — using barbells made from tree branches and carved rocks.

The implication is: these people train when they’re facing obstacles greater than anything the average person will. So if they can do it, what’s your excuse?

You can make all kinds of excuses, but the only valid one is that fitness is not a priority for you. If you accept and acknowledge that, then you should not be outraged by a statement like this. The outrage is displaced self-recrimination.

I was a high school athlete who got fat in his mid-20s from a combination of an accidental injury (not training related; I was a budding coach potato at the time) depression, related laziness, and eating too much of the wrong kind of food. I gained close to 40 pounds over the course of just a few years and was well on the way to being a serious fat-ass.

I had my epiphany / crisis at about age 30 and started the process of getting back into some semblance of shape. It is a process. It takes time. It does not take an enormous commitment, it just takes consistency.

I’m pushing 40. I am lucky if I can get 2–3 sessions for a real workout in a week. I work minimum 50 hour weeks, mandatory “short” Saturdays, and sometimes without any weekend at all (I’ve got another 13 day week this week). I live in Japan where gyms don’t open until 10:00 and shut at 22:00, and most people don’t even get off work until after 19:00. I’ve got a wife and a kid, too.

I make time to work out. It doesn’t take hours and hours; most of my workouts are done in an hour, including warm up and stretching. Long ones might push to an hour and a half if I include some skill work pre- or post-workout. So I spend maybe 6 hours a week working out, whenever I can shoehorn in time between work and home, or in the evenings, or lunch breaks, or whatever.

I’d often like to do more, but I can’t without sacrificing something else that I value. Sometimes, working out takes a back seat to spending time with my wife and son, but sometimes it’s something trivial. I read, watch movies, or play video games occasionally. If I didn’t have a job that required ridiculous (and often pointless) hours, I’d be able to do all of the things I like and value, and still have time to work out every day if I wanted to. But I don’t, so I do the best I can.

My priorities include not being fat and unhealthy ever again. I take the necessary amount of time to work on that. I balance other commitments and leisure activities. If your priorities don’t include time for health and fitness, then they don’t. But you have to acknowledge and accept that that is a choice you are making, and not give excuses for why you won’t commit to maintaining your body.

This is a great post, it resonates with me highly.

[Kable]

@WordMan

You are missing the point. If you link to The Onion, you should be the one saying “I am linking to the Onion intentionally” in your post.

Sure I should start all jokes by saying I’m about to tell you a joke. Sorry that’s not funny. And I’m not sure why the women here are getting so upset. It’s been shown that obesity is a lot easier on men than women in the first place: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I67e0BgDaqc

[Kable]

@twickster

Kable – I’m giving you a warning for trolling. This is at least the third time I’ve told you to back off the nastiness – from now on, it’s a warning every time I catch you trying to get a rise out of people in general or trying to pick a fight with a particular individual.

Note that this post is not the only example of your trolling in this thread – the previous page shows the pattern – but the way the software is written I have to give a warning tied to a particular post.

Now would be a good time to consider whether you want to be able to continue to post at the SDMB. If the answer is “yes,” change your posting style – radically, and soon.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

OK, I’ll consider it.

[Kable]

@Lynn_Bodoni

Asians, AS A GROUP, have a higher average IQ than other populations. This does not mean that a particular Asian will have a higher than average IQ.

Of course.

I don’t know about the average IQ of obese women.

On average it’s lower. Intelligence in relation to obesity: a systematic review and meta-analysis - PubMed

I know the IQ of one obese woman…it’s over 150.

In her case do you think it was maybe caused by more of an inability to delay gratification?

http://cas.umkc.edu/psychology/brain/documents/pdf/publications/Ability%20to%20Delay%20Gratification.pdf

[Kable]

@even_sven

To bring this discussion back into the realm of reality, I do think people are taking this in the worst possible light, and there are much more innocuous, and much more likely, interpretations.

I don’t see this as “You have no excuse for not looking like me, fattie.” I see it as “Everyone can come up with any number of good excuses for not working out, but in the end if you prioritize it, you can find a way to commit to your health even if you do have some very real obstacles.” Her body isn’t displayed as some kind of personal insult to those without such a body. It’s just an example of what she’s achieved with that attitude, and a good advertisement for her knowledge about getting fit.

Think about her audience here. Personal trainers don’t market to the fat-and-uninterested-in-changing. That’d be idiotic. They market to people who are already interested in fitness and on some level would like to work out more, but aren’t currently using a personal trainer for whatever reason…such as, perhaps, making a bunch of excuses to themselves.

Anyway, as someone with a solid 35 lbs of pregnancy weight to lose (yeesh!) I don’t find this at all offensive. I didn’t look like her before I got pregnant and I won’t look like her after, but I can certainly commit to a fitness routine and get myself into reasonably good shape. Indeed, with that kind of goal, it might even be a good time to seek out the services of a personal trainer.

That’s exactly how the women in my office took it.

[Kable]

@QuickSilver

Are generally fit people outraged with her “callous” self promotion, or is the outrage mostly from the fatvocates, as linked in the OP?

I think the latter.

[spinky]

@CanvasShoes

We’re arguing that messages of the type posted by Ms. Kang are ineffective, as well as not inspirational, as she claims she was trying to be.

My guess is that when you get right down to the real purpose of her message, it is pretty effective. The backpedaling about trying to be inspirational is mostly bullshit – she was trying to be inspirational to potential clients, and her target clients are the type of people who think “yeah, I’m going to be so fit I could be that kind of smug bitch about it if I wanted to (but of course I won’t be a smug bitch about it, I’ll just be that hot). That smug bitch can obviously help me.”

[Drunky_Smurf]

@QuickSilver

I agree to an extent. But every “Just do it” commercial I’ve ever seen has an athlete in it, or somebody in unbelievably good shape near enough to a professional athlete as to make no difference. So if I was looking for a reason to be insulted, I might look at that campaign and say, “Sure, easy for you to say! Look at you! Who has time to be running up those stadium stands?”

Here’s an inspirational Nike ad without an athlete or someone in great shape.

[Kable]

Another Nike add.

- YouTube

I don’t recall anyone being offended at the time.

[QuickSilver]

@Drunky_Smurf

Here’s an inspirational Nike ad without an athlete or someone in great shape.

I love that ad. I loved it the first time I saw it and I think it’s their best ad, bar none.

But you’d have to agree that it’s the exception, not the rule for Nike.

[QuickSilver]

@Kable

Another Nike add.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOVHVII4tXI

I don’t recall anyone being offended at the time.

Well, Bo is not a pretty girl, so…

Also, not much of an internet in 1991.

[CanvasShoes]

@Kable

Canvas shoes you are really reading way too much into the simple word “excuse” and trying to say it’s not jealously. Using that word isn’t “bitchy or nasty” I ran it by all the girls in my office and none of them had a problem with it.

And Christ look at the length of you last post. You doth protest too much.

Okay, I’ll break it down nice and short, and with small words, so you can understand.

She posted something crappy. People complained that it was crappy. She backpedaled like Lance Armstrong hitting a headwind and tried to pass it off as something not crappy.

The majority of people aren’t buying it.

She’s a spineless wimp. If she, like you, thinks “all fat people are lazy worthless human beings” then she needs to just say it. OWN her own campaign. Don’t hide behind BS like “but I was just being inspirational”.

If she (giving her the benefit of the doubt) really WAS trying to be inspirational she needs to own her mistake in posting something crappy.

That is all.

[LurkerInNJ]

@QuickSilver

Are generally fit people outraged with her “callous” self promotion, or is the outrage mostly from the fatvocates, as linked in the OP?

Not at all outraged.

As a fit person, I thought she was saying “I have three children and I make the time to take care of myself and make being healthy and in shape a priority in my family and you can too”. I also figured that none of her children would ever be a contestant on The Biggest Loser with the healthy eating and exercise lifestyle that had been engrained in them during their childhood. Good for her for loving herself and her family so much that she wants to be a good example and set her children on the right path.

As I read more about her; finding out that her family had health issues related to weight, she runs two companies, doesn’t have household help, her husband suffered a brain injury in Iraq (?) and is disabled, how hard she worked to get in the shape she is in, how hard she works overall and what a genuinely nice person she comes across as, I thought she was a great example of what a person can do through healthy eating and exercise if they really set their mind to it.

Peoples negative reactions to her are their true feelings about themselves showing through. If someone was really and trully happy about their weight, her photo and comment wouldn’t have hit such a deep nerve within them. They would have had more of a “you go girl!” reaction. When I see someone in my gym who has really made progress and is taking the first photo ever of their abs, I’m happy for them. My gut reaction isn’t anger or jealousy over that fact that I’m twice (or more) his or her age and have to work four times as hard to keep my abs as they had to work to get them. I’m happy with the shape I keep myself in AND I’m happy for the other person’s accomplishment. Their success doesn’t shame me.