Flaming Meteorite Cock, OR Two Habaneros are definitely enough

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So the wife goes out last night, taking one of the rabbits we’ve just rescued from a Wal-Mart parking lot to the vet for a checkup, and won’t be home until late. Fine by me, as that means I can:

  1. eat something for dinner that would disgust her

  2. watch “The Name of the Rose” on Bravo

  3. start doing my taxes

So, with reference to 1) above, I decided to make a plate of nachos, using some of my own refried black beans and some great queso fresco I got the other day. While I’m doing this, I notice I’ve got a bag of fresh habaneros in the crisper, just begging to be eaten, as so many of us are.
I cut up two into rings and scatter them piquantly about the voluptous beans, the sassy cheese, and the insouciant cilantro.
Mind you, I know exactly what I’m getting into here, as I’m a major-league chilihead-grow my own, and have been told that when I die, they’re going to use my blood as paint stripper from all the capascin.

So I have my nachos, watch Connery and Slater, itemize my deductions, feed the rabbits cilantro off the plate.

As I’m finishing, I feel the need to offload the two San Miguel Dark lagers I’ve consumed in the course of the yelpingly hot nachos. I go to the bathroom, and only too late do I realize that

I’ve forgotten to WASH MY HANDS after handling the habaneros.

That was last night. I’ve showered twice. I’ve put aloe on it (and my hands). It’s subsided to a slow, not unpleasant burn, but for a few seconds there, I was convinced the Inquisition was taking place in my boxers. (St. Joan of Dick!)

So, my question is…have any other Dopers experienced “Hunan Hand” like this, and if so…what’d you think?

2

Oh yeah, bad case of “Hot Rod”. It’ll go away, eventually, leaving behind a warm, almost pleasant sensation before all is back to normal.

However, grasshopper, you have learned a great lesson. I’d wager that you will NEVER make that mistake again.

3

Gives new meaning to the phrase, “The Fire Down Below,” doesn’t it?
Remind me to never do that.

4

ROFLMAO! Splort! ::hiccup:: ::giggle:: ::pound table::

Ow! Oh man! ::giggle some more::

5

As a teenager I once worked on a landscaping crew clearing a lot of underbrush. It wasn’t until late in the day and after several restroom breaks that I realized I had been digging up poison ivy. I think I would rather take a little heat instead of 3 days of itching anytime.

6

This works to get the smell from onions off your hands, and it might work for the capascin on… other parts: Toothpaste. Hey, it can’t hurt.

Some friends of ours moved from the city to a small ranch house in California. They threw a housewarming party which, thank God, I was too young to attend. They wanted to roast hot dogs over an open fire, so they went into their back yard and found all these bushes with long, straight, whippy branches. They cut a bunch, stripped off all the leaves (growing in bunches of 3), and everybody had a great time roasting hot dogs with poison oak branches.

7

Since I’m female, I can only offer an analogous situation for examination.

I once had a man say to me, “Sorry about those hot peppers I had for lunch. Guess I haven’t washed my hands since then.”

'nuff said?

-L

8

So how’s the bunny? And why did it have to go to the vet?

(Sorry, but I have to think of something else to keep from laughing so hard I start coughing again. You poor thing [and your poor thing].)

9

Well, I suppose you should just be glad that you did not have to go #2 at the same time 'cause then you’d really be in misery!

10

From rumors I’ve heard around the Board, toothpaste could be a bad idea: think burning (from the habaneros) and stinging (from the mint in the toothpaste).

If you did use it, I guess you’d know what VD feels like! (“Gee, doc, it stings and burns…”)

Very funny post.

11

Does anyone else see the irony of a someone with the name “Holden MacRoyne” posting to this thread? (Say it out loud.)

12

GAAAAHHH! I know JUST of what you speak. Happened to me exactly once (once with habaneros, I mean; it’s actually happened with other chiles as well. :o Guess I don’t learn my lesson too well.)

Um…OWW! My condolences. Ooch.

13

Well, the burning is still with me–it’s almost enjoyable now. Sort of a low minty hum.

What is bothering me is the aftereffects of the habaneros as they make their way out of my digestive system.

To quote Johnny Cash:

“I fell into a burnin’ ring of fire
I went down, down, down,and the flames got higher…”

Screech-owl, the bunny didn’t actually have anything wrong with it-you just have to take them in for checkups if they’re rescuees to make sure they don’t have any nasty bunny disease they can pass to the resident population.

My ass, on the other hand, does have something wrong with it.
Maybe I’ll go sit on a sno-cone for a while.

14

Well, I have had experience with this. Have you tried sitting in a shallow dosh of milk? Or but your burned part into a glass of milk. It’s the only thing I have found that takes away the burn. Just hope the wife doesn’t catch you doing it, explaining it may be difficult :stuck_out_tongue: (“Oh this?? I was making you a protein shake…”)
I always liked habeneros for the fact they don’t burn quite so bad or for as long as other peppers on the way out. Or you can always soak some cotton balls in milk, to be on the safe side.

Tomorrow get yourself a box of surgical gloves for the next handling of habeneros. I found that even if I did wash my hands,repeatly. they still cause any sensitive areas to BURN on contact.

Good luck and the nachos sounded good

15

I once made the mistake taking my contact lenses out after handling habenaros - even washed my hands thoroughly first…the horror…the horror. My eyes tear up just now thinking about it.

Being a pepper fan, I’ve also had bouts with hot-pickled-peter-pecker. Had to laugh about the “warm” feeling mentioned after the initial pain phase – I too have felt that, but thought it was just me.

Did anyone see that MTV “Jack-Ass” episode where the guy voluntarily let himself be sprayed in the eyes by pepper spray, then shocked repeatedly with a stun-gun, and then shot in the chest with a taser-gun (the darts-on-a-string contraption)? He said the pepper spray in the eyes hurt the worst.

16

you a funny guy god
:smiley:

17

Sign in men’s room of Mexican restaurant: Employees must wash hands before returning to work. You might also give some serious thought to washing them before handling your junk.

18

My ex once sat on a can of pepper spray that he kept in his back pocket. He broke the seal on the can and the liquid soaked thru his pants and underwear, necessitating a quick shower.

Talk about giving someone the red-ass!

Robin

19

My friend and I went to the theater to see “Traffic” after dining at an establishment which lined the wall with various bottles of hot sauce. As I sampled all that were in reach, my fingers had all been, at one point or another during the evening, liberally coated in sauce. A quick rinse under the taps was all the washing they received.

During the movie, I proceeded to give my eyes one of those 30 second “wake up” rubs. It was kind of fun, actually - the watering eyes, the uncontrollable squinting, the pain… I pretended that I was experiencing cocaine withdrawal, and was proceeded to rub my eyes twice more, when I felt the feeling was subsiding. I was rather disappointed that no one asked me what was wrong, because I had been developing a nicely elaborate story about my “drug use.”

Maybe next time.

20

Similar story involving thermonuclear topical solutions in too-close proximity to the pink parts.

Once my hubby had a sprained knee that was giving him a lot of grief so he decided to buy some of that “icy-hot” gel to apply before going to bed. Well he put the gel on and hopped into bed and…hell I know you guys are already two jumps ahead of me on * this * story. So suffice it to say he started touching me * there* and my moans sounded something like:

Mmmmm…Hmmmmm? Huh?

that’s hot

** No ! I mean I’m HOT**

*** OH MY GOD I’M FUCKING HOT, I’M ON FIRE DAMMIT * **

** HOT! HOT! HOT!**

All the while I’m washing it frantically, cursing at him and screaming Hot! Hot! Hot! My poor hubby stood there trying not to laugh though, in retrospect, I was a pretty comical sight.