Do you live in Chicago? Did you go to Heaven on 7 for food, and then to the movie theatre upstairs? Been there. Done that. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. But you have to ask for the REALLY hot stuff they keep in the back so that ordinary schmoes don’t hurt themselves.
My roommate was on a “burning his pubic hairs” kick for awhile. Basically, he would just stick a lit match down his pants and wait to see what happened.
Eventually, he had serious blisters all over his penis. It looked very diseased.
(Yes, he showed me because he wanted to know if he should seek medical attention. The answer was YES, YES - one for his penis, one for his brain)
As someone else pointed out, water won’t do a thing to put out the fire and will, in fact, only make matters worse. The “hot stuff” in peppers is contained in an oil in the plant. What happens when you mix oil and water - the oil just gets spread around. Viola’
Milk will dilute the oil as will alcohol. Whoever suggested emersing the scalded part in a glass of milk had it correct. You could also cover it with tequilla, triple sec, lime juice and a little salt and prepare your SO the ultimate margarita.
My father-in-law is a confirmed fire eater. He just loves the hot stuff. He once was opening a tin can of habaneros and just as he clamped the can opener down a jet of the juice squirted into his eye. I’ve never seen anyone is so much pain. It took a trip to the emergency room to finally get the situation back under control.
I can also personally recommend that you not perform oral sex on your girlfriend after eating peppermint Altoids. “Mmmm…that feels so…whoa…what the…oh man…GOD DAMN…this is killing me!” Applying a soothing balm does present some good opportunities, however.