Ok, I wrote up the most beautiful and heartfelt piece of literature human kind has ever seen as a reply to cosmoreds’ WW2 thread in the pit,
but the thread was closed, by one of the most awesome human beings to ever exist, by the time I hit submit.
“Oh, shucks.” I thought to myself, “That is a bummerino. Now what should I do with this most excellent piece of literature? I know! I’ll start a new thread to share because to deny humanity of its’ existance would surely make a baby somehwere cry.”
So here it is.
"No, we were not told the truth about WW2. King Kong did not lose to Godzilla. The Moon Nazis poisened him with octopus semen, Kongs favorite snack BTW, mixed with bee poop and magic mushrooms.
You see King Kong, or Giganticus Gorillanus, is highly allergic to bee poop. The Moon Nazis put so much bee poop into the several hundred gallons of octopus semen, that Kong slurps down on a daily basis, that the poor guy simply laid down for a nap and never woke up.
The Moon Nazis blamed it on Godzilla so that the Atlantians would believe that the Martians had kidnapped Princess Peach and taken her to another castle. This pissed off Mario something fierce so he called up his gay lover Sonic the Hedgehog and they met up at a local McDonalds to have hot sweaty dumpster sex because they had seen it on “It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia” and had been wanting to try it.
Then Ty Pennington went to throw out some trash and caught the two in the middle of their hot sweaty dumpster sex and thought to himself, “You know, I’ve always wanted to ass bang Strawberry Shortcake but those fucking Care Bears keep bukkake-ing her so now her face is all caked in dried Care Bear cum. Maybe I’ll take my submarine with the screen door and go to Iceland and ass bang Bjork instead.”
As Ty was standing there thinking this to himself George W. Bush was at his ranch, “Can’t Get Fooled Again,” playing “smell my finger” with Kim Kardashian. Tom Cruise was in the corner watching this and writing the last several pages of his doctoral thesis on, “Why Tom Cruise Likes Purple Crayons But Not Purple Dinosaurs”. A subject he is intimate with since he had Barney assasinated just a decade prior.
The children never really got over the death of Barney and most became distraught and disillusioned over the loss of their God and murder-suicided their families. The few who managed to hang on to their last bit of sanity decided to take revenge and thus became the Moon Nazis. Just a few years later they hatched their evil scheme and poisened King Kong with the bee poop filled octopus semen because King Kong was Tom Cruises favorite pet.
And that my dear is what really happened in WW2."
I typed all that crap out in about 3-4 minutes. I didn’t really think, except for the last paragraph to tie the story together, I just let my brain wonder.
I thought it might be fun to have a thread where others could share their flow of consciousness short story. So if you feel like, or you just have a banana, share yours here.