So I found out I flunked the bar. In 3 weeks, I get to take it again. In the meantime, I have to study. If I flunk it again, I’ll have to wait until September to take an 8 month long course to take the test again. I would then have passed the bar in May 2012 instead of February 2011.
How do you reduce the anxiety and fear of losing more than a year of your life so you can focus on studying?
That sucks. Would it help to remember that the bar exam isn’t an actual firing squad?
I wish you luck!
Don’t think of it as losing a year of your life. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be depressing to have to go through that process after studying and working so hard, but you will not be losing a year of your life (when I first read the thread title, I thought it referred to a health crisis, and I was trying to parse how a disease could take a year out of your life rather than shortening it by a year). If your worst fears are realized, you will simply be spending a year of your life doing something different than you originally planned. There are all sorts of ways this could happen, of which flunking the bar is by no means the worst.
Think of your life as a branching tree or path, which each step taking you in a new direction. Concentrate on the studying that you want to do now, and let it take you toward whatever the next path is going to be. Don’t think of the options as “Yay, success!” and “gaping chasm of horror,” just as two possibilities, neither of which has to induce fear. I have had a number of setbacks in my life that made me think that I had hit a roadblock or completely ruined my life, and not only am I still here and kicking, but looking back it’s hard to even remember the bad times.
Thanks. It’s true that I could do something else but nothing as good as I would if I do pass the bar. It seems like crying would make me feel better but I haven’t been able to yet.
Repeating a year would not be a waste. You would be more ready for the test the next time around, and you can spend your non-study time developing all sorts of different skills.
But let’s say for the sake of argument that it IS a waste. What then? You lose one year out of let’s say fifty or so. That’s 1/50th or 2% of your life wasted. Most of us have probably wasted more time than that simply posting here 
Don’t worry dude, you’re not losing a year of your life, unless they now send people who fail the bar exam to prison (and even then, you could still hit the weights and come out ripped and with a sweet tattoo).
Think about it this way: from now 'till May '12, will you still be able to get a (maybe part-time) job? Meet friends? Go out and get drunk every few weekends? Have sex? Do whatever it is you do for fun? Perhaps some of these will take a hit, but I’m guessing you’ll still have plenty to reminisce about in a year.
In 10 years, will you be lamenting “Ohhh! I’ve only been a lawyer for 9 years! If only I had passed the bar, I would be celebrating 10 years!”? Probably not. Chances are, you’ll think back and something like "Boy, I sure am glad it took me that extra year. If not, I never would have met (name of beautiful wife), got married, and had (name of beautiful children). Heck, in even 3 years you probably won’t care.
Thinking about it that way might relieve some of the stress - in the grand scheme of things a year isn’t really that much, and you’re not really losing it to begin with. So while you’ll certainly feel some anxiety and stress, there’s really nothing to “fear.”
A stupid trick I’ve used in similar situations (Finals I need to score X on to pass, thesis defense, talks at conferences, etc). Whenever you sit down to study, or right before you walk up to the podium, or right before you put your pencil to the paper, pause for a moment and say to yourself something along the lines of “Alright, lets fucking do this shit.” It sounds silly, but it really clears my head and makes me focus on what I’m about to do. Even if you’re nervous, with practice you’ll be able to trick yourself into thinking you’re 100% confident that you’re about to pound the Bar exam into submission until it begs for death.
Where I work there is similar stress with not passing the PE exam (basically, the “bar” for Engineers), where people study and study and stress for half a year or more, and if you fail it you have to wait 6 months to take it again. Fail it three times, and you have to then go through a process of petitioning and groveling to be allowed to do it again. What’s worse, you will never, ever, ever be promoted at my firm unless you pass it. You will retire at age 70 sitting in the same sized cubicle as a new hire from college gets.
Anyhow, if the bar is anything like the PE exam, it’s a different exam each time, right? With some variability in the difficulty and nature of the questions. I’ll wager a lot of folks who are absolute brainiacs fail the bar once or even twice, and go on to kick butt later. I guess it might depend too on how badly you missed it - if you missed it by 0-20%, no biggie, you can chalk that up to chance. I guess if you missed it by 50% or more…maybe some extra study is what you need.
Unless you ar Rip Van Winkle, you are not “losing” a year. It’s a bummer that you have to keep studying, but in the end a one-year professional delay is manageable. As time drags on, you are not going to miss that year at all. And if you do, at least you had an honest explanation- imagine the countless people who lose years to addictions, prison terms, etc. Everyone has some setback at some point, at least this one is not too terrible.
In the meantime, try to set some non-professional goals for the year. After all, work is just one part of your life. A year of studying sounds like a great time to broaden your horizons. Do you have the discipline to study while you travel? There are lots of opportunities to teach abroad and experience something new. Or maybe you could pick up some new hobbies, or work on your social life. Or find some rewarding volunteer opportunities. If you can make progress on something, maybe that will lessen the sting of not making career progress.
Maybe this is not likely in this economic climate, but might you be able to get legal work during those eight months? It was many, many years ago that I worked as a first-year associate in a law firm, but I remember very clearly that there were other first-years who had not passed the bar the first time round, and were still working alongside the rest of us. I seem to recall one associate who failed two or three times before finally passing, and she still worked in that law firm.
Not having passed the bar would prevent you from appearing in court, but it wouldn’t prevent you from doing legal research, writing legal memos, etc.
On the other hand, it might be wiser to spend more time studying. I think it must have been stressful for the young associates who had to work long hours AND study for the bar. I like all the suggestions that have been made about the many other fun and rewarding things you can do when you are taking breaks from studying
Also, don’t give up hope on passing in three weeks! Best of luck to you.
Oh, also – one of the smartest women in my law school class failed the bar exam the first time round. It is true, as has already been pointed out, that it is not at all unusual to fail the exam. It is not easy for anyone, and failing it is not a reflection on your past or future abilities or performance.
As my husband likes to say, one crisis at a time. One of my favourite mantras is, it’s not happening now, so I’m not worrying about it now. Now is your time to study, not worry. You’ll pass or you’ll fail, then you’ll deal with that when you have to, just like you’ve dealt with everything that’s happened to you in your life so far.
MichaelEMouse, it is unbefitting of a mouse to be a drama llama.
No doubt it’s disappointing to have not yet passed the bar; but you know you will eventually achieve it. You probably know where your strengths in the exam were, and where you need to focus.
3 weeks is the carrot. September is the stick. Centre yourself, consider your first attempt a trial (heh) and don’t waste your brainpower on the things you cannot change (i.e your previous results).
Stop posting, identify where you need to do better, and study.
If you’re seen anywhere on this board over the next 3 weeks, I hope you hear the groans of bitter disappointment…
Go forth, and stupefy.
At least you know what to expect now - you’ve got that going for you.
You’re not losing a year of your life, you’re INVESTING a year of your life into something that’s important to you.
I think you’ve got an excellent shot at passing next month, anyway. You’ll be going into it knowing what to expect and how to adjust your studying accordingly in the meantime.
Hang in there!
The year you lost was the one that you did not study enough. That year is over. Don’t lose two years. Work harder this year. And of course you might pass in September. You sound defeatist in thinking you will not even pass in September.
As coach George Perles said, “Keep your mouth shut and your nose to the grindstone and good things will happen.”
Is the 8 month long course mandatory for those who have flunked the bar X number of times (e.g. "Sorry, MichaelEmouse, you have failed this exam twice already. You may not try again until you take this 8 month course. Please bring proof of course completion or you will not be allowed to take the exam), or is that just the standard strategy in that a person who has failed the bar twice already stands no reasonable statistical chance of passing it the third time around unless they take the 8 month course?
Do what my friend did after flunking out: Study up, but take a few months off to volunteer (ideally somewhere exotic). No one who isn’t a close friend has to know whether you were spurred by altruism or a crisis. Plus it looks good on a resume.
Definitely do study, but do something else to refresh yourself. Go on a trip that you’ve always wanted to. Take a class in knitting or film appreciation. Spend time at the homeless shelter.
The school works like this: The first time around, you choose either a 4 month professional course which includes tests you must pass with 60%. Or you take a 4 month prep course followed by the 4 month professional course with the same tests.
If you flunk the test twice, you have to take the 4 month prep+4 month professional courses.
I’m 27 and feel like I’ve already wasted 1 year of my life picking study paths in our equivalent of prep school (it’s the equivalent of the last year of high shcool and first year of uni. It usually takes 2 years and I did it in 3). Plus a 3 year degree that showed me that, no, I didn’t want to be an academic. Plus 1 year where I didn’t do much except show up for army reserve exercises and volunteer in some not-so-skill-building places. In that last year, I thought of suicide frequently. I know I won’t do that if I flunk again, but I’ll be frequently depressed.
I don’t have enough money to volunteer somewhere exotic, though that would be a good idea if I did.
I’ve always been rather clever and though I’ve occasionally gotten some bad grades, this is my first major cognitive failure combined with the greatest threat to my future welfare. It’s unnerving.
That and whether or not you pass is seemingly random. Some loaf with a 2.00 GPA who attended classes half the time passed. One student who will article for the provincial court of appeal and was very studious flunked. Wtf?
Something I try to do sometimes is to get my head around the “here and now” instead of always thinking about the future. So let’s look at your here and now: you are not a lawyer, and it is not inevitable that you will ever be a lawyer. You therefore haven’t lost a year of your life (i.e., you haven’t shortened the time you can be a lawyer during your life by one year, because you may never be one). You’ve just changed what you must do to achieve a goal you want to achieve.