Okay, whatever I was going to have with the woman mentioned in this thread has come and gone. It’s a bit complicated to explain here; suffice it to say we were never on the same wavelength. We each misinterpreted the other’s intentions constantly, and I always thought she was too passive. (Which some people mentioned in the linked thread as a possible sign of disinterest)
But I am left wondering about one thing. She wouldn’t take any initive sexually, but it’s possible (based on what mutual friends have said) that she’s just scared and unsure of herself in that area. I thought this was unlikely, as she’s 29 years old and from Long Island. But I have to admit, that may have nothing to do with it. A friend of mine who is from Brooklyn said he was pretty naive sexually, even growing up in New York.
So now I’m doing an informal poll: what were the sexual mores of women like where you grew up? I would especially like to hear from New Yorkers-is it possible to grow up in NYC and be sexually inexperienced?
Um, of course? Do you think you have to pass Fucking to get your Regents Diploma? Last I checked, its not on the list next to English Composition and Global History.
A person can know a lot about sexuality in theory without having enough confidence, due to various life experiences, to give it a whirl. It is also possible to be sheltered and naive about sexual matters in any zip code in the US, without being naive about personal safety, navigating the subway system, and other realities of New York life.
I’d say it varies more from person to person than region to region. And the idea that well-adjusted, attractive 20-somethings must be knee deep is just plain wrong. When I was in high school, I’d say well over 75 percent of the grade graduated without ever having intercourse, though all we ever heard about was how 12-year-olds everywhere were screwing.
The problem with this question is that there’s really no right answer. I grew up in a small town in Wyoming and now I’m living in a large city in England and I’d say the girls here have a totally different attitude about sex they seem far more open and have a better overall grasp about the consequences of sex. Yet no doubt as individuals they all have their own hang ups and viewpoints.
So I guess I’d have to say that from my experience that a region seems to groom your ‘outlook’ on sex but an individual’s actual sexuality is more about the person then the region.
Well, I was born and raised in NY on LI specificially and I have been told I am very assertive sexually. I don’t think region has too much to do with it.
Yeah, that was my impression of those areas, yet this woman seems to be the exact opposite. She’s even more passive than the small-town women I knew growing up in Ohio. Huh.
I’m still trying to figure out why you think location and sexual behavior are linked in some way, to tell the truth. If I’m not mistaken, sexual behavior patterns are the sort of thing that’s much more closely related to the moral and ethical framework you’re raised in than the location in which you’re raised.
If anything, I’d say a girl raised in the NYC area might be more likely than average to be less sexually experienced (or assertive, if that was what you were asking). Keep in mind that there is a fairly substantial portion of the population in the NYC/LI area that have religious and social convictions regarding sexual behavior - in particular, about sexual behavoir outside of marriage. I can easily see a girl raised in a tradition that emphasizes chastity and modesty (for example) who is comfortable with having sex outside of marriage, but not comfortable with initiating it. But, again, that would have more to do with one’s upbringing than one’s hometown.
Well, if they’re not, then teasing that out is the point of this thread. You do seem to have some ideas on the subject, your puzzlement notwithstanding.
There is not a lot of hard research on the subject. Research is driven by funding, and who’s going to write you a check to find out where you’re most likely to get laid? However, I can give you some general information.
Other places are said to have more compliant women than where you live. Guys there hear the same thing about the women where you live.
The local women who are rumored to be easy, sure-fire lays really aren’t.
The local women will never go out with you if you don’t ask them to.