Fond Dr. Demento Memories

One year, many moons ago, there was a song contest on Dr. Demento, and the song that won was a lovely Christmas song. It went something like this:

" I found the brains of Santa Claus
Underneath my bed.
They were in a pickle jar;
I wonder if he’s dead.
Oh, they smell like dried-up tuna,
and look more gray than red.
Yes, I found the brains of Santa Claus,
I’ll bet you that he’s dead.

Yes, he still may have a jelly-belly
And a big white bushy beard.
But without that gray stuff in his head
He would act kinda weird!

I found the brains of Santa Claus,
His wife may want them back.
I’d send them to her C.O.D.,
the zip code’s all I lack.
Well, they really aren’t much good to me,
'Cept to serve them as a snack.
I found the brains of Santa Claus,
It’s strange but it’s a fact!
(Repeat Chorus)

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

(Anyone else remember that song? I think I have forgotten a verse)


That sounds about right… love the DR!

Don’t get me started… it’s, like, fucking scary, okay? Let’s just nod, wink, grab at each other’s asses and move on. Okay? Gee, I’m really trying to let you off on this one… :wink:


Their coming to take you away. (ha ha)
Their coming to take you away. (ho ho)
To the funny farm, where the grass is green,
And the men in white suits come out to play.
(ha ha, ho ho, hee hee)

The Radio Shack is nerdy little place where,
dweebs can blow their fuses…

Radio Shack baby…

Radio SHACK!
Radio SHACK!
Radio SHACK!
Ohhh, that’s where it’s at!

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

And then there’s the B-side to ChiefScott’s song:

(eeh eeh ,oh oh ,ah ah)
.yalp ot tuo emoc stius etihw ni nem eht dnA
,neerg si ssarg eht erehw ,mraf ynnuf eht oT
(oh oh) .yawa em ekat ot gnimoc er’yehT
(ah ah) .yawa em ekat ot gnimoc er’yehT

I’ve never heard an actual Dr. Demento broadcast, but a few years back I made the mistake of buying my father a two CD anniversary set. They come out at every neighborhood gathering, and all the other dads have their own tapes to add. We have one hell of a New Year’s Eve party…

Now, as a result, whenever Dr. Demento is mentioned, snippets of “Earache My Eye” “Wet Dream” “Dead Puppies” “Junk Food Junkie” and “Poisoning Pigeons In The Park” run through my head.

I remember Dr. Demento from when I was a kid, and I would stay up late to listen to it, without my parents’ knowledge. “Fishheads” changed my life!

Roly-poly fishheads are never seen drinking cappucinos in Italian restaurants with Oriental women! Yeah!

“That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler

I didn’t listen to the Doc a whole lot, but I never failed to completely enjoy his show. Now here’s a Twilight Zone moment, brought to you by Dr. Demento:

About a zillion years ago, I left LA and So. Cal. behind to move to Tahoe. As I nosed onto the 405 from Pico Blvd, and headed north out of the city, the Dr. Demento show came on the radio and the first song he played was (not sure of exact title) Pico and Sepulveda/La Brea Tar Pits.

Fast forward to 1990. For still unknown reasons, I decide to move back to LA. The day I arrive in town, AS I’M AT ABOUT THE SAME SPOT ON THE FREEWAY (those of you who know where Pico and Sepulveda intersect will understand the significance of this), the Dr. Demento show starts up on the radio and damned if the first song he plays isn’t Pico and Sepulveda/La Brea Tar Pits.

How frightening is that?

My personal bizarre and utterly useless talent is that I can sing the Fishheads song exactly as heard in the recording, WITHOUT the use of helium (or anything else). Cool, huh? :wink:

I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape.
C’mon up and see me sometime.

I would go to sleep every night with my transister radio tucked under the pillow, Dr. Demento reeking havoc on my young brain.

Hello Mudda,
Hello Fadda,
Here I am at
Camp Granada!

Ah, memories!

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

Story Tyler,
I hate to take away from your TZ experience, but you were passing that intersection at exactly 8:00 (or was it 9?) or 10:00 (11?)on a Sunday night both times. “Pico and Sepulveda” was the good doctor’s theme song, played at the beginning and end of each show.

Has anybody else stood in front of a urinal and sung:

“It’s time for number one…
This is it…
Here it comes…

I lost track of the show years ago. Is it still on?

Sadly the good doctor is not on the air anymore. I don’t have any links handy her at work but the only place you can listen to the show is on web broadcasts.

On a side note I finally got to see Weird Al live a few months ago at the Arizona state fair. Al packed the coluseum and really rocked the house. I was astonished that so many people could sing along with all songs.

Weird Al ROCKS! I’d be his groupie but the man doesn’t eat meat and doesn’t drink beer. I’m also fairly certain he cannot pound a nail through a two by four with his penis… But I could be wrong about that one.


I really miss Dr. Demento. I used to stay up late (read: 10pm) on Sunday nights when I was little. I even think I have a recording of the Funny 25 for 1983. If you ask my husband what ‘our song’ is, he’ll probably say “existential blues”.
Does anyone remember the song, “Polka Dot Undies”?

As I recall it was 10 p.m.-ish. Well, ok, so he wasn’t playing the song for me, but it still is pretty weird that both on my departure from and return to LA, on the same patch of fwy, the good Doctor materialized, playing a song dedicted to the city of whacked-out crazies. (I shoulda taken it as a sign…)

::sniff:: I still feel so loved…

“La Breaaaaaaaaaaa Tar PITS!”

I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape.
C’mon up and see me sometime.

I’m just bummed that none of the Demento collections I’ve found so far on CD have Yuppiedrone on them…DAMN, I love that song.

Does anyone remember the Elements, by, I think it was Tom Lehrer (sp?) The same guy that did Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.
I loved that song, and it really helped me pass chemistry! I miss Dr. D.

Another favorite o’ mine was “Bird on my Head” by (I want to say David Seville?) the guy who created the Chipmunks. That was the first song my baby brother ever learned (he’s 22 now) and we still sing it together when we see eachother! (Wow, are we all getting that old?)

PS I know, I should research all of my facts before I post so I get it just right, but hey, who has the time?

The Good Doctor’s official webpage is located at:

An unofficial list of radio stations carrying his weekly show is at:

An extensive list of dementoid songs, playable in Real Audio format, is located at:

Also worth a listen are Ariel by Dean Friedman, and Back When My Hair Was Short by Gunhill Road.

“Back when my Hair Was Short” was probably the only song whose lyrics were completely rewritten in order to be a hit (the original version referred to events in the 60s; the single changed the lyrics to refer to events in the 50s, which made it more marketable).

I never was lucky enough to hear Demento, though he’s obviously a genius.

Weird Al, OTOH, is a lame Allan Sherman clone and a sign that rock parody is pretty impoverished. Look for the Bonzo Dog Band instead.

“East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx

Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction.

The Elements is sung by Lehrer. I’m not sure which of his albums it’s on; it might be “An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer”.

The chipmunk guy is (not sure about the spelling) Ross Bagdasarian.

The worst part of the show was always the Funny Five, because four of them were usually the same as last week, and usually at least three of them were readily available on those “Silly Songs” compilations (I mean, please, is there any album of songs like that that does NOT have “They’re coming to take me away” on it?).

The other day my son found a box of Dr. Demento tapes I made … eek… almost 20 years ago. He thinks they’re hilarious.