WalMart’s Great Value Cheddar Cheese crackers are a good substitute. I think they may even be the real thing. Unfortunately, the Low-Fat Cheez-Its are my kryptonite and nobody else does those well.
I agree about Cheez-Nips and toss in Tid-Bits, which once were my faves.
Labrador Deceiver: The green peppers are just peppers that haven’t ripened into red, yellow, orange, purple, etc.
Leaffan: I’m pretty sure green peppers are already ripened. That’s what they are: green peppers.
Labrador Deceiver: No, they’re slightly unripe bell peppers that will eventually turn red, yellow, orange, purple, etc.
Leaffan: Well, I’ll be damned. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. Red, yellow, and orange peppers all come from different seeds and are different cultivars of pepper. Red peppers are simply ripened green peppers.
Labrador Deceiver: That’s exactly what I said.
*Leaffan: No, only green peppers become red peppers. That’s not what you said.
Labrador Receiver: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Leaffan: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Labrador Receiver: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Leaffan: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Labrador Receiver: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.
Leaffan: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Labrador Receiver: Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.
Leaffan: There’s just no stopping in a white zone.
Labrador Receiver: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Leaffan: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.
Solid cheese and shredded cheese are the same price everywhere I shop. Always good to have some of both. 
I like black licorice, but not cheap artificial black licorice-flavored things such as black jellybeans or black Twizzlers. I like Dutch black licorice, but the Gustav’s double-slat black licorice is just beyond the pale. It’s not that it’s salty, but it each piece tastes like it was dipped in alum.
Do you know someone who likes fake cheese, or are you counting that with low-fat cheese? Because my post was kinda meta: I assumed that, as soon as I posted it, someone would pop in and say they loved fake cheese. I really am curious about who the hell likes that stuff. Someone must, as it keeps getting made.
Ooo ya, baby. What’s not to like about salty black licorice? I love the stuff.
Ah, this would be the “Something I forgot.” Also added to the list are rice cakes, whose sole purpose is to serve as a laugh prop in sitcom episodes revolving around weight loss antics.
I don’t. But I do occ use Velveeta*. And of course the Pasteurized Process Cheese Food is really cheap.
Powdered sugar or chocolate donuts have their charms - you can at least lick off the outer layer. What’s nasty are those little packaged donuts that have that tan crumbly coating - I don’t even know WTH it is.
let them melt in the sun …YUM!
I’m still waiting to hear from anyone willing to admit that they actually like the flavor of fat-free sour cream (or an explanation for what a fat-free cream even is). Fat-free cottage cheese (a similar oxymoron), whatever the hell that is, is also right up there on the list. Can anyone here manage to choke that stuff down… or is it kind of like clam juice in that they are ONLY used in other recipes for health-conscious folks.
Black licorice. BLECH! My mother loves the stuff, too. I thought it was hilarious when no less an authority than the Easter Bunny made fun of the stuff in the movie Hop. I was all, “SEE?! Told ya!” 
I don’t really have any unique contribution that I can think of, 'cuz I tend to stay far clear of foods that I don’t like.
I know that as long as they raise animals for slaughter, “they will have to make” organ meats. But does really anyone still eat them nowadays? I don’t like tongue or liver, but i can halfway understand that some like them.
But chicken-fried brains? Pickled lungs? Berlin-style udder schnitzel? Tripe stew? Sour kidneys? Bah.
And one think they actually do make: “Blood cake”, made with fresh pig’s blood and buckwheat groats, sliced, fried and eaten with mustard. Is this some throwback to the Spartan black soup?
How can it be?
We have gone 4 pages , and nobody has yet mentioned…MARMITE !!!
(Oh, I get it,now…
This thread is only about food that should not exist. )
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And,now,for all you Brit dopers: don’t.
Just don’t. Nobody who ever accidently put Marmite in his mouth is gonna believe you, anyway.
And anybody who did it non-accidently is beyond help.
Sounds to me like you’re still confused.
Tongue is delicious. It’s like really really good pot roast. And one of the things I look forward to at Thanksgiving and Christmas as the heart and gizzard. It’s like the darkest of dark meats.
I have a really old cook book where she goes on for pages about how good for you (cow) brains are and how everyone would really like them if they tried them. I’m not convinced. I’d try it though.
When I was a kid my mom used to talk about how much she liked “scrambled eggs and brains.” I don’t think she was kidding. I didn’t ask–I was afraid to find out.
Yes, brains and eggs is probably its most common dish.
I love fruitcake. Unfortunately what is sold at the regular grocery stores is total crap. But a homemade fruit cake is pure ambrosia.
My dad used to tell me about how his family raised chickens in their backyard in 1920s Milwaukee, and how his dad (from Szegd, Hungary) would saute their severed heads, crack open the skulls, and suck the brains out. Not something I’m about to try, ever!