Jello neither looks or tastes like it is edible, but I don’t consider it food.
See if only you lived in Delaware we’d have a trifecta. Just kidding - I’m fairly sure Delaware, like Narnia, doesn’t really exist :D.
I’d forgotten about the even more terrifying pimento loaf. Must have blocked it from my memory. And I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the concept of mac-and-cheese loaf, which previously I was blissfully unaware of.
You know someone somewhere does, though. Probably guzzling it down with their khav kalash.
Rice cakes. Seriously, this is food? This is food the way random bits of paper or leaves or twigs lying about on the ground after the zombie apocalypse is food. In the sense that its edible, but why would you choose to eat it, short of starvation? 
Doesn’t matter what flavoring you attempt to slather over it to try to salvage some taste - its still like eating flavored cardboard…
I eat primarily vegetarian (although I am not one) and I agree with you: Indian cooking and the right spices can make okra, a potato, or wilted cauliflower not only edible, but really good.
Is anybody else reading this pepper exchange with the voices of the loading-lane arguing husband & wife team from Airplane!?
I don’t think I should be concerned by this.
I suppose they must make them for me, because I like them.
Mind you, I also like the strawberry and orange creams (or “cremes”, as they seem to want to spell it) in a box of chocolates. And coffee Revels.
No other sod seems to like any of those, so it means all the more for me. Huzzah!
As for food which should not exist - grated cheese in a bag.
For the love of God, how hard is it to grate a bit of cheese for your sandwich? Or cut it, if you’ve not got anything as fancy as a grater in your house? If your house is so poorly equipped that you’ve not got a knife either, then spending money on grated cheese seems like a wanton waste of money to me.
Buy a knife.
Or bite lumps out of your cheese.
I may also be biased in that the single and only time I came across this vile abomination in real life - in someone’s house, rather than on sale in a shop - it was at a friend’s place and he’d obviously not closed the zippy thing on the bag properly before he’d put it in the fridge, so it was all a sort of mottled orange and green melange of mouldiness. Pretty to look at in a trippy sort of way, but utterly disgusting and binbound, the second I saw it. 
Now this I believe is truly in the spirit of the thread. There is no reason what so ever for this shit. The ONLY people who eat this crap are trying to lose weight, but the problem is the fucking things don’t even fill you up so you’re still hungry. Most useless product ever with the possible exception of habanero anal sex lube.
In the same line of thinking, I present frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches(with the crust already cut off!).
Really, how hard is it to make a peanut butter sandwich? And, eat that damned crust!
My high school girlfriend used to snack on those. I never understood the appeal of the damned things. One day, we went out to the duck pond near her house and took a couple rice cakes with us to feed the wildlife. Ducks wouldn’t go anywhere near the things…
What the hell? Maybe you like cleaning cheese graters, but it’s right up there with the manual egg beater in the “Hardest To Wash By Hand” competition. I always have a bag of grated cheddar in my fridge, sprinkling it on dozens of things. I haven’t checked, but I’m pretty sure the cost difference between grated and un-grated cheese is no more than a few pennies per ounce.
I cook three meals a day, and need every edge I can get.
Not when you cut them into disks and roll them in corn meal and fry them. Fried okra rocks.
You can pretty well deep fat fry *anything *edible, and it’s good.
Even a rice cake?
It’s one of my most favorite sandwich meats. Or you can make your own with bologna + sliced salad olives.
As I recall that’s how I ate it. Y’all can have it.
Hmm, somebody try it, ok?
Crumble it up, pour on some Half-and-Half, and sprinkle on some Turbinado sugar. Just like eating Quaker Puffed Rice! 
Olive loaf, mmmmmmmmmmm! 
Haven’t had any since I left the States, many moons ago…
Might I post balut and thousand year eggs? Who thinks to take a perfectly good egg, bury it in dirt, then dig it up several months later and eat it? Or to pickle and eat a baby duck still brewing in the shell?
Just. Ew.
What about those various forms of scat coffee? What is the deal here, coffee is supposed to be bitter, if you have to dig it out of animal turds, or add chicory, or take out the caffeine, you are doing it wrong. If cream and/or sugar are not good enough, just pick something else to drink.