If June Cleaver was like typical 1950s moms, then she probably thought that vegetables were supposed to be boiled beyond all recognizability. In which case the Beaver had it right: You’re not missing anything by skipping ex-vegetables like that. Unfortunately, this has resulted in a whole generation or more who think that veggies are always inevitably yucky.
Apparently you haven’t met my kids. I don’t think they chew much; I think they’re part dolphin. We’ve been known to get through almost an entire meal before someone says, “Hey, there are shrimp in here! I love shrimp!” They certainly have wrinkled their noses at bites 1 or 2 and then decided they like something on bite 3. As have I. Besides that, three bites means they get *some *nutrition, even if all the rest of what they eat is noodles.
And, as I said, it’s a “rule” with no teeth. There’s no enforcement, there’s no standing in the hallway or sitting at the table in the dark or any of that. There’s just an expectation that, in our house, we try three bites of something so we can form a real opinion about it before we decide we don’t like it.
Well, if she’s really eating nothing but starch, for an extended period of time, she’s at high risk for, as already mentioned, anemia, vitamin deficiencies, growth retardation, Type II diabetes, kwashiorkor… that could make quite a bit of difference in her life.
Look, I see your point and I share it - if this is made into a “battle” the parent is going to lose, and yeah, the kid will probably be a bit screwed up about it. But I don’t think these - or anything else Doper parents have 'fessed up to in the thread - are good examples of anyone making anything into a “battle”. These are perfectly moderate responses, attempts to teach children healthy eating, personal responsibility and etiquette *without *turning things into the kinds of battles you faced with your mom.
I mean, if your kid really wanted nothing but noodles for weeks and weeks, would you not at least attempt to influence her into making better food choices? Or if your son had half the contents of a 7-11 under his bed?
And my 1970’s mom. It took years to realize I wasn’t a picky eater but that grey mush isn’t appealing to anyone, particularly when served with a side of shoe leather.
Wasting food was a mortal sin when I was growing up so I was taught to eat what I was given, like it or not. Most of the time there were no alternatives. There were two things that my parents would tolerate me not eating: Ground meat and very fishy fish. Now, though, I am quite fond of ground meat. I still hate fishy tasting fish, though.
However, I do not blame my parents for forcing me to eat even if I didn’t like it. In fact, I am glad they did. I can’t count the number of times that I have been served hamburgers, spaghetti, fish, squash and any number of other things that I disliked at the time but I was able to eat it. I didn’t enjoy it, but I ate it, thus not appearing rude to whoever was providing me with free food that they put time and effort into preparing.
I don’t have any kids but, when I do, I expect that I will take a similar stand as my parents. I think I will be slightly less “eat it or go hungry” than my parents were but I also don’t anticipate having as many food shortages as my parents had. If the kid absolutely truly and consistently hates something then I will make an effort to provide an alternative that the kid likes. Wasting food always will be a mortal sin, though.
Yeah, my husband realized there are a lot more vegetables that he really does like, including mushrooms, white turnips (and turnip greens), kale, Swiss chard, asparagus - it’s amazing what you’ll try again if it’s not boiled into mush.
Strange effect of that I’m noticing: my friends (kids born in the 70s) now think that a well cooked vegetable *cannot *be good. That vegetables have to be, at most, “crisp-tender” or they’ll taste like ass. Not actually true! Well caramelized root vegetables and Brussels Sprouts are amazing! Frenched green beans cooked for a long time with onions and bacon are to die for!
We now have a generation of salad lovers who can’t appreciate a good ratatouille. 
If this is what the ADULTS ate too, how on Earth did THEY find it appealing? Or even palatable? Even if they did think that’s the way it’s “supposed” to taste?
Umm. Why feed your kids food they don’t like?
So what? My son doesn’t like zuchinni, cucumber, and most types of seafood. He also hates mustard and pickles and dressing. He used to pick out the parts of sushi that he liked, but will now eat certain rolls without demolishing them for parts.
He’s gone through phases and that’s fine. He used to not eat meat because he wasn’t into the taste, and then later objected to not eating fish because ‘those are Nemo’s friends!’
Now he eats pretty much whatever I serve. If he doesn’t like it, why force him to eat it?
My mom was of the “Complain and you get a second serving” camp, but mostly, she served boring meals. Veggies were canned: either corn, peas, green beans, or occasionally carrots. I didn’t eat a salad till I was in my teens because she never served it. I was over 20 before I had broccoli or cauliflower or mushrooms (real mushrooms, not those brown pellets in cream of mushroom soup.) What’s bizarre is after all of us left home, she became a caterer and she is a fabulous cook. I guess we were her learning curve…
After I left home, I started getting braver. I tried abalone. I had calamari and escargot. I tried okra (OK, that was a fail, but I tried it) and recently, I even got over myself and had sushi. Turns out, there are few things I don’t like, and more often than not, it involves seasonings being spicier than I like. I do refuse to make any dish with cream-of-anything soup - I’ll make my own cream sauce, thanks. And I don’t buy canned veggies, except for diced tomatoes. So while I was probably very picky as a kid, I got over it. So there’s hope for others.
However, I have a sister who, at 56, still eats like a kid. Steak, medium well. Chicken, dark meat only, no skin. A specific brand of potato chips only. Coke only, no Pepsi. Canned veggies only - heaven forbid you use frozen or fresh. No salads. Mashed or baked potatoes only. No casseroles. No seafood of any kind. Few fruits - bananas, applesauce (but no apples), canned fruit cocktail. She cooks 2 meals every night - one for her and one for her husband who likes just about anything.
I learned to lie to her. As far as she’s concerned, there are no onions in my meatloaf. 
Who are you addressing this to?
The only rule we had with my kids was “take it or leave it”. I gave them vitamin pills so they wouldn’t get scurvy or pellagra, and if they weren’t hungry, they didn’t have to eat. Maybe you will be hungry for the next meal.
I did try to pay surreptitious attention to what they usually ate and didn’t eat, and make that more often. But we didn’t do a lot of snacking, so it worked out.
Regards,
Shodan
If he only turned up his nose at brussell spouts, there would be no need to feed him brussel spouts. But since he eats no fruits or vegetables, but does eat bleached flour and fat, he has health issues. Had his mother put her foot down at two instead of letting him fill up on Doritos after dinner, he probably wouldn’t be a 12 year old type II diabetic.
There is a difference between “I don’t eat liver, brussel sprouts, or kumquats” level of picky eater and “I only eat peanut butter sandwiches (Jif) on wonder bread, bleached spaghetti noodles in butter (not tomato sauce), Captain Crunch (no milk) flavored corn and potato chips and things of the Hostess manufacturing line.”
The problem being is that his habits were quite set by six, when his health issues started. And it therefore became a battle of wills that his mother was far too weak willed to win. (Obviously, there are other issues with this kid, for instance, he has very poor boundaries).
As you should. Fishy tasting fish is fish that is going bad. You shouldn’t eat spoiled food, and bad seafood is particularly risky.
Sometimes yes, but on many occasions, kids in the younger years are obstinate about foods because they are obstinate about everything. Disagreeing, saying that one doesn’t like a food that one has never tried, and contradicting their parents can be a big part of a small child’s life, as they’re experimenting with control and the concept of truth vs. lies.
I was a “good eater” as well, so I would try things, even stuff I knew I didn’t like before to see if I liked it again. Many kids are not so willing to try things again as their taste buds change, and a lot of kids reject new or unusual foods because of lack of familiarity. If you never make someone try a new food, they’re going to be eating the same stuff they did when they stopped trying new things on their own.
This is the biggest part of the battle for many parents-- they know the kid either has never tried the food or has tried it and liked it and is now being picky for the sake of being picky. In many cases, it’s not a food allergy, it’s not genuinely hating the food, it’s being unfamiliar with the food or just deciding that today, they are not going to eat it.
If it weren’t for her boyfriend, my SIL would still be eating the same handful of things that she ate as a kid: chicken fingers, french fries, minute rice, and maybe a couple of vegetables here and there. However, he didn’t put up with the unwillingness to try new foods for very long, and she’s benefited from it immensely-- she doesn’t have to worry as much about whether there’s going to be something on the menu that she eats, and the last time we were out with her, she tried three new things and liked two of them. (In all seriousness, this is a big deal. When I met her six or seven years ago, she was completely unwilling to try new things food-wise.) It does become a social issue that can be as big of a detriment as having poor table manners; you feel awkward when you stick out or are unable to meet the levels of politeness in your social group, and it makes business meals problematic.
Bolding mine.
A lot of kids are like that through age five or so-- it’s experimenting with what one can control and logic goes out the window a lot of the time. You add in a little logic that brings up the idea that the food you want to make is probably pretty tasty based on what else they like, and it makes it easier for them to see that trying new stuff can be a good thing. Food shouldn’t be a battleground, but at the same time, trying new things should be something that kids do as part of learning how to be an adult who functions well in society. You can’t be a successful forty year old who plays with blocks and craps his pants, can you?
Been there, or something similar with both. They grew out of it. But you seem reasonable, avoiding the battle is the real goal. It’s a battle often fought on the way to losing the war. What I did do was tell them to make their own food if they didn’t like what they were served. They were (and still are) lazy (I blame their mother), but lack of motivation made them more likely to eat the food they were served.
My picky eater gags on meat but really can’t be called a vegetarian, maybe she’s a grainarian?
Anyway, I never made a fuss, I always had a kid friendly dish to go with our protein and roasted veggies. Now that picky eater, on her own, without me ever making her eat something that grossed her out, has expanded her palate. She eats chicken tacos with lettuce, steamed broccoli, and raw carrots. She still gags at red meat and meat smells but has come aong way from her starch heavy diet.
I just wish the GP’s would get off the kids backs when it comes to food, why they like to focus on what some brat is or isnt’ eating is beyond me. Ignore them I say and lets get back to visiting and talking…
No doubt–and it depends on the kid. Mine will refuse to eat something she loves, even if it’s on her plate, unless I persuade her to try it; and once she does, she loves it. She asked me to buy mushrooms (her favorite vegetable, the tiny weirdo) at the grocery store, so tonight I cooked them up to go in burritos. She insisted she didn’t want them, and she picked them out of her burritos. But I told her there was a secret ingredient in them, and when I refused to tell her what it was until she tried it, she popped one in her mouth, looked delighted, and ate the rest of them.
Secret ingredient: salt. Girl loves salt.
There is no such thing as a good ratatouille. 
I don’t have any kids, but I’ve been a live-in nanny and helped raise a few. I don’t ever remember having any fights with kids over food. If they were refusing to eat it, I’d just matter-of-factly say, “you have to at least have a few bites or there’s no dessert,” and they’d eat a few bites. Maybe I just dealt with oddly reasonable kids.
Does anyone here try disguising healthy food in things you know your kids will eat? Or “hide” healthy food in things they’ll eat so if they refuse their green beans, at least they’ll have had spinach in their burger or meatballs? Cauliflower in mashed potatoes? Blueberries in their brownies? Pureed carrots in mac & cheese?
My mom tried to make us clean our plates of whatever she put on them. We also weren’t allowed to eat between meals. Meal times were super crappy for all of us kids, with lots of gagging, crying, even being tied into our chairs for hours until we finished the last bite. Also my mom had to spend countless hours and tons of energy on pitched battles trying to bend all of us to her will. Which didn’t work anyway. It’s a wonder we didn’t all end up with serious eating disorders. I did end up with severe anxiety (and nausea) around food for many years, and often under-ate as a kid.
Anyway I do not understand this strategy. You can’t force anyone to eat what they don’t want to, even a baby. If you really care about your kid’s nutrition, offer them lots of nutritious foods (and few nutrient-poor ‘fillers’ like pasta and sweet snacks) from babyhood ownward, and let them choose to eat what they will from that.
Not in a “fooled them!” sense. But I do try to “sneak” vegetables into otherwise high calorie food to make them more nutritious for all of us. I figure if I’m going to eat meatballs, at least they can have some fiber in them! Ditto pasta sauce and meatloaf (I use red and green bell peppers, too - I just throw all three veg in the food processor and pulse until they’re pulverized.) Cauliflower in mashed potatoes means I can eat more in volume with fewer calories. But if they ask, I tell 'em what’s in it.
I also “hide” tonic herbs in a lot of stuff, or antimicrobials if there’s an illness in the house. I make a killer chicken soup with lots of garlic, maitake mushrooms, astragalus root, burdock and thyme, for example. To them, it’s chicken soup. To me, it’s a desperate attempt to ward off infection! 
I hadn’t heard about blueberries in brownies, though…that sounds good! Are they pureed first? I don’t think I’d like 'em lumpy.