Football & Poetry: NFL Haikus

It’s kickoff weekend, and I’ve been inspired (in part by this thread, and in part by Gregg Easterbrook’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback column). So, I’m calling on all NFL fan Dopers to express their views, haiku-style.

No particular rules here, just some 5-7-5 NFL talk. Season predictions, smack talk, whatever you like.

A few that came to mind for me:

Philadelphia,
“overrated” be thy name.
Birds go six and ten.

The Eagles curse ends.
No title game loss this year.
They’ll choke long before.

Niners mismanaged.
Boom! Salary cap implodes.
First draft pick next year.

Smoke dope or play ball?
Big fish makes his choice and leaves.
Thanks a lot, Ricky. :mad:

So, what’cha got?

Professional sports?
Not for me, thank you. I’ll pass.
What a waste of time.

I miss John Elway.
Rocket launcher for an arm
Dismal predictions.
:smiley:

I used to agree
Then three years ago I found
It’s a game of brains

QB sneak on two
Defender coming for me
I can’t feel my legs

The Chicago Bears
Owned by the McCaskkey clan
Wait for them to die.

“Hail to the Redskins!”
“Hail the returning Joe Gibbs!”
8 and 8 this year

The Chiefs play Denver
Sunday night at Mile High
Fear the orange crush

5-7-5 defense?
Too many men on the field
Ten yard penalty.

Boller takes the snap
Handoff to Lewis - Touchdown!
Seven on the board

Boller takes the snap
Overthrows wide open Heap.
Please drop the charges.

My fantasy team
Worse than San Diego’s D
Yahoo messed up draft. :mad:

Go New Orleans Saints
Ah well, who am I kidding
At least I’ve hockey.

Team Lacking Logo:
Will Kellen Winslow Matter?
Glad that Couch is gone

The Pittsburgh Steelers
will dominate the lowly
Baltimore Ravens.

Refs will look closely
at DBs who push and shove
Yellow laundry flies.

Will New England lose?
Dillon was what they needed
turned it up a notch

My mind is mush, I
can’t think of another set
so I go to bed

The Cardinals suck
Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck
Suck suck suck suck suck

Hey, Terrell Owens:
After a month with McNabb
You’ll miss that “gay” guy.

astorian, you’ve inspired me to send T.O. another message (sorry for the line two theft)…

Something you will learn
After a month with McNabb:
Bounce passes don’t count.

Cleveland Browns have won!
Smack the Ravens in the mouth
Week 1 win, at last!

Deion Sanders? Hah!
He is “Past-His-Primetime” now
Go back to pregame

Boller takes the snap!
Hands it to Jamal Lewis!
Lewis thrown for loss!

I can’t go without criticism of my favorite team:

William Green can’t run.
Stop giving him the ball, now!
Short steps, won’t get far

I will wait, Niners
for you to be good again
This is depressing

Niners fans are quite glum
But at least we’re not Bears fans
so we should cheer up

I’m at the museum
The Bears game fucked my traffic
please go lose elsewhere

My AFC East predictions, in haiku form.

Miami This Year
Wannstedt flipping through want-ads
Fourth place finishers

Buffalo again
Shall rack up many losses
Fight hard for Third place

Last Year Champions
Wild card playoff spot for them
Pats in second place

Canton Bound Martin
One last year of dominance
Gang Green Takes first place

Takes the league by storm
Pennington holds the trophy
With Lombardi’s name
I’m emboldened by
A day of football & drink
I’d best get to bed

Chi-Town wants Da Coach
Bears will ruin Grossman yet.
McCaskey go. Now.
Midway Monsters gone
Urlacher on the D L
Sure do miss the Fridge

McCaskey runs things
Into the ground Go Bears and
Take the sox with you

Quentin Griffin runs
Made the KC D his bitch
Go little man go!

Jake the Snake has seen
Good days and really bad days
This year is his year!

Raiders in a slump
It’ll last at least a decade
Black pit of despair

Priest Holmes sets a goal
Run right to the super bowl
He should flee KC

Quentin Griffin runs
Made the KC D his bitch
Go little man go!

Jake the Snake has seen
Good days and really bad days
This year is his year!

Raiders in a slump
It’ll last at least a decade
Black pit of despair

Priest Holmes sets a goal
Run right to the super bowl
He should flee KC