For all the pagan dopers out here

This was a joke email that was sent to me by a friend. No author was credited. I suppose it will make the email rounds sometime.

HUGS!
Sqrl

A letter from a 3rd grade teacher sent home to pagan parents:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please
don’t take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A
student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I
feel we should address.

Every morning before class, she insists on walking around the classroom with
her pencil held in the air. She says she is “drawing down the moon.”

I told her Art Class is in an hour and to please refrain from drawing until
then.

And speaking of Art Class, whenever she draws a night sky, she
insists on drawing little circles around all the stars and people dancing on
the ground.

And that brings up dancing, I had to stop her twice for taking off
her clothes during a game of Ring Around the Rosey!

By the way, what does the term “skyclad” mean?

Aradia has no problem with making friends. I always find her sitting
outside during recess with her friends sitting around her in a circle.
She likes to share her juice and cookies. It is nice how she wants no
one to ever thirst or hunger.

However, when I walked over to see what they were doing, she jumped up and
told me to stop, pulled out a little plastic knife and started waving it in
front of me.

I thought this was a bit dangerous, so I took her to the Principal’s Office.

She explained to the Principal that she was “opening the Circle” to let me
in.

She also said that her Mommy and Daddy always told her not to play or run
with an “athame” in her hand, that she could put someone’s eye out.

I don’t know what an “athame” is, but I am glad that she keeps it at home.

As for stories, your daughter tends to make up some whoppers. Just
yesterday while I was talking sternly to Tommy Johnson and shaking my
finger at him, he started screaming and ran from the room.

When I finally caught him, he told me that Aradia told him and the rest of
the class that the last time I shook my finger at someone, they caught the
chicken pox.

I explained to him that the Sally Jones incident was just a
coincidence, and that things like that don’t really happen.

One of the strangest things that happened was when I asked the
children to bring in Halloween decorations for the classroom. Aradia brought
in salt,incense and her family album.

I see she has quite a sense of humor.

One of Aradia’s worst habits is that she is very argumentative. We
were discussing what the Golden Rule was (Do Unto others as you would have
them Do Unto You), she firmly disagreed with me and stated it was “Do As You
Will, But Harm None” and she will not stop saying “So Mote It Be” after she
reads aloud in class.

I try correct her on these matters and she got very angry. She pointed her
finger at me and mumbled something under her breath.

In closing, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, I would like to set up a parent/teacher
conference with you sometime next week to discuss these matters.

I would like to see you sooner, but I have developed an irritating rash that
I am quite worried about.

With Deep Concerns, Mrs. Livingston

P.S. Blessed Be.

I understand that this is a greeting or closing from your country that your
daughter informs me is polite and correct.


SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure

Okay, that was pretty funny.

Not enough Pagan humor in the world.

Hi ** sqrl** where ya been?

I’d send a note back to the teacher and tell her to deal with it.


I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Heh, going to send this one to the Student Pagan Association Mailing List. :slight_smile:


Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

Thanks, Sqrl! Gave me a chuckle!


This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here.

I liked that, Sqrl! The “Blessed Be” as a greeting from their “country” is hilarious!


I always try to do things in chronological order.

Thank you all. I thought it was too funny. It would be better if they had one that was grove specific rather than Wicca. Oh well. :slight_smile: I could write one but it probably would not be as funny. The b est part is that the mundane dopers out there probably just read through it and said, “huh?” hehehhehehe

HUGS!
Sqrl

PS. Ultress… I have been around but not posting too much lately. I have been pretty busy unfortunately. :slight_smile:

SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure

I loved that one! I have a few others dealing in Wiccan humor, if I could just dig them up again.
And yes, funny thing, my husband read it and went “What?”. He is Baptist and I am Wiccan.

Mistress Kricket

Are you stuck on stupid?

BTW a few other Pagan parents including myself are waiting for that letter to show up in our kids backpacks any day now! :slight_smile:


Mistress Kricket

Are you stuck on stupid?

Funny! I’m not pagan, but I think I caught most. Except for the circles around the stars.

Pentacles, Irish.
Yeah, that was unclear to me, too.
Maybe not to the Wiccans, tho’.


Party per bend sinister wavy bendy sinister wavy vert & or, & sable, in fess point a demi-pellet ensorcelled rayonny or inverted & bendwise sinister issuant from the party, in sinister base a roundel bendy sinister wavy vert & or.
Or something…
Oh, just go here.

You Might Be Giving Pagans A Bad Name If …


No matter where you go, there you are.