Will your mother be there?
Ha ha no!
My wife will be there, and I may actually leave the “my love is worthless” joke out if she is because though it’s not an actual thing she’s ever said to me, the whole scenario was certainly inspired by much less severe tiffs we’ve had in the past.
Better!
In my unprofessional non-comedian opinion, the problem with the last joke is that neither the setup of the joke, nor the tone or content of any of the prior material, present any rationale—other than pure randomness/shock value— why you’d go back in time to fuck your mom. As an audience member I would try to connect it somehow, and be confused or just underwhelmed if it’s a non-sequitur.
Maybe change the general “worthless” to a specific action. “And I’ve learned from her, that my love doesn’t pick up the laundry.”
Seriously, drop the incest joke. That will never be funny.
Or at least third party it.
“A met a man in my house that claimed he was my son from the future, but he didn’t look anything like me. I had to shoot him, because he was making love to my wife.”
Your current version, if nothing else, makes it kind of sound like you fantasize about going back in time (which many do), and meeting your parents when they were younger (once again, a normal time travel fantasy), in order to have sex with your mother (ew?).
I honestly have no idea why that isn’t hilarious. It’s exactly the kind of misdirection and surprise that seems to be at the heart of a lot of good jokes!
Are you still in indianapolis? If so, do you mind sharing where you’ll be doing this?
This isn’t horrible.
But honestly, I don’t understand the “I’m ok being happy” line.
Do you have any other material? I’d love to see what you have deemed not good enough.
It may not sound like it, but I’m pulling for you.
mmm
I will PM you. Can you be one of my required five audience members? 
Because it ends with you having sex with your mother.
There is no joke so good that that punchline won’t sink it. (Maybe aristocrats)
Frylock, would you be ok if we offered up some original jokes in this thread for your consideration?
I don’t have any, but I’ll think on it a bit - I’ll pretend I’m doing an open mic and see what I might come up with for myself. Might be a fun exercise, and it might give you some material.
mmm
I’m with the others who say that it could work given the right delivery. Then again I’ve seen a few professional standup sets without laughing at all so maybe I’m not the target audience.
I deleted the stuff I rejected from the notepad app I was using, sorry! I’ll try to remember some of it. Had one in which I pretended to be a Trump supporter and asked who in the audience was a Trump supporter, then made a joke about how now we know where they are. Then something about how Trump is a dream come true–a living nightmare where non-ciswhitehetmale people are begging me to please wake up.
There may be something there but I couldn’t figure anything out XD
Good comedy isn’t about an individual joke. As I said, it can work. k9b offers a tamer version that will work also. Maybe better for a beginner. When you see comedy gold from the pros it’s been refined over a lot of performances to get the timing, tone of voice, body language, facial expression, just right. If you miss a beat on an incest joke it goes over badly. Your choice, but consider the safer version offered. If you can pull that one off then you’ll have a basepoint for comparison when you try out the more difficult version.
I thought of a person I think my intended delivery is comparable to: John Hodgman.
This is good advice, and I’m not going to take it.
It really is good advice but right now I’m still leaning towards keeping it in, as the very last joke, mostly just because I kind of just really want to see how it goes, based on the discussion here.
Do you have Netflix?
I’m asking because Patton Oswalt’s latest standup is on there and he spends 30 minutes talking about how he became a widower. He makes it funny and touching at the same time. It’s a great act to get inspired by, because he takes an incredibly sad thing and makes it incredibly funny.
And that’s to underscore that delivery is everything.
I think I might do that or something like it! Good tip
I think, if you keep it to a one-liner and don’t actually go any further (impossible for most I know) the “Who else is a Trump supporter” “we got them!” is really funny.
And if no one claps, speak into your “sleeve” and say "(name of club) is clear) all suspiciously.