Well it’s suposed to be Jan 9 but, though I have actually had verbal confirmation of that, I haven’t received a certain email I should have received so I may have to revise that date.
It would be a good place to learn by watching, but a horrible place to try something out as a first-timer. Comedians generally don’t laugh at other comedians; even if they do find something funny, they don’t laugh because they’re trying to figure out why it’s funny. So it wouldn’t be a very good real-time gauge of how strong your material is. But you would definitely learn just by watching, like writers getting better with every book they read.
If you ask for help and offer to show up early for a writing session, they will likely be very welcoming. I was very welcomed when I started and once I was a bit more experienced I loved helping newbies. There’s not a lot of competition, despite what you see on TV and in movies.
You won’t get many laughs, which is fine. Comedians don’t laugh much at such things; if you get a chuckle you are doing well.
It’s not in its best form when told that way: *“I have a Phd in philosophy. Would you like fries with that?” * It’s better in the way suggested by someone previously:
"I have a PhD in philosophy. Which means I have spent 7 years studying the deepest questions of mankind. Such as, “do you want fries with that?”
Yes, it’s been done a million times… but nonetheless I would suggest that he holds that joke in his pocket and only pulls it out if the crowd is silent or bored. Because even though it’s hackneyed its pretty much guaranteed to get a decent laugh. A lot of folks who pay to see comedy actually want simple jokes-even if something like his has been done before. They can’t deal with much that is out-of-the-box or challenging.
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Or maybe instead of holding the joke in reserve for a “rainy day” it would be better to tell it very early in your set as RickJay suggested. It will get laughs… which will set the crowd up to laugh at other stuff that might not have gotten much of a a laugh otherwise. It’s important to get them on your side.
“So I said to my wife with the wooden leg, Peg, I said…”
You’re welcome.
I think you just exactly restated what I said. That is Knowed Out’s take on the line that I referred to. 
Why hold back a joke you know will get laughs unless you literally have too many guaranteed laughs to fit into your time?
I heard most of these in my head in Steven Wright’s voice and delivery, and found them hilarious, though dated and offensive.
If your not familiar with him, he has a very dead-pan but perfectly timed delivery. ("… so if anyone has any boxes …" still kills me). The thing is, his timing for his pauses was impeccable. I’ve never seen anyone successfully steal one of his punch lines.
He always started out with obvious and strong lines, to loosen up the audience, and then moved on to more subtle ones.
I didn’t read the other replies (so my reaction wouldn’t be influenced), so I apologize if this is duplicative.
nm, wrong thread
Let me know, I’d like to come if I don’t have other arrangements (I shouldn’t). Maybe we can turn this into a central Indiana doper convention or something if other dopers are going.
What do you refer to as dated here?
I got new glasses today and wrote down the following joke, which is more in the friendly self-deprecating vein many here advocate:
I need my glasses to reflect my personality. Square, and kind of thick.
An almost total revision.
Here I make some compromises based on feedback here and elsewhere–I’ve removed most of the meanspirited and offputting jokes. I’ll save those for a longer set after I have had a chance to test my delivery on easier jokes.
I did keep the incest one, I just really want to see what happens. It’s near the end. Also kept the 4’33’', again, I just really want to see what happens.
I now have a bit of a running thread. It is in truth a little bit homophobic but hopefully in a way that invites mockery of homophobia. I know it’s a fine line.
It also involves a very dated reference but I lampshade that in the last joke so maybe it’s okay?
I have attempted to make the thing more friendly and self-deprecating, not as a permanent change to my approach (maybe) but as a “first timer” thing.
Are you going to tell them in that order? I don’t get why the George Michael jokes are apart, or why. The open relationship joke should be grouped with the marriage jokes. It’ll make it easier for people to get them.
I don’t think you have three minutes of material here and you probably don’t even have two, but better short than long.
I love the parting line.
I think it is better to have less than three than to have more than three, is it not?
As to the george michael jokes, it’s a running thread–the idea was it’s like, I keep coming back to this, it’s clearly more of an obsession than I mean to let on. The third one comes at the end as a callback, as well. (I was trying to incorporate suggestions from above by crafting a running thread and a callback.)
I’ll take a look at the open relationship/marriage pairing–that’s how it used to be.
(I wasn’t going to flood the thread with this, but about the three minutes, I do have this longer set of basically all the jokes I’ve actually worked on (as opposed to noting down in the moment), somewhat intentionally arranged. But it has all the mean spirited and off putting stuff in it, and also, I feel like it’s better to have a complete set that is less than three minutes than to end up having to cut yourself off in the middle of an incomplete one on a lame joke.)
You have to figure in the clock eaten up by thunderous applause and maniacal laughter.
That’s what his wife said.
Kayaker gets it.
More seriously, when I time it, even without leaving space between the tellings, the first five jokes take up a minute, the second six take up a minute, and the final six actually take up like a minute and twenty seconds, so I’ve been more worried it’s too long.
It may be that I’m saying them very slowly when I time myself. But I do think I’ll be saying them a bit slowly.
You absolutely will not say them that slowly on stage. That’s incredibly slow, for one thing; you are either talking like Steven Wright dubbing “Drunk Donald Trump” while you speak, or you’'re taking pauses between jokes that are way beyond “comic timing” and into “uncomfortably weird.” And, being a newbie, you will talk faster than you planned.