This kind of thing gets to me, too. I lost my grandfather suddenly, and at the oddest times I think of him. I see him working his shop, or remember fishing with him, or on a family vacation. He’s been gone almost 25 years. The pain does fade, the longing to see him once more doesn’t.
racinchikki, that’s wonderful. Who wrote it?
Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I need to clarify some things about my original post.
When I posted that, I heard the Joplin song n the radio and I guess that got me thinking and in combination with the date I came around to thinking about what happened to my old girlfriend. I’ve always felt like she died in a stupid accident, and think how hard that was on her family and kids.
But the part that got lost somewhere between my head and the keyboard was the important details that go with “I’m happy with my new life, and love my wife”.
Although it was in my head, I didn’t say how much that means to me. While I meant to say that I was sad about the death of someone I had cared about, and the feeling of “lost yesterdays” is sad and poetic, I also meant to say that my life had turned around because of my wife. She has supported me, loved me, and really was responsible for turning me into some kind of actual adult (although you wouldn’t know it from what I post).
She is not only the most important person in my life, she is my life. Her smile lights up my eyes every time I see it. The first time I saw her is still clear in my minds eye, I can see her as she opened on the door on our first (blind) date. I saw instantly that she was special. So sexy, so shy, but obviously sharp, funny, and fun to be with.
In fact, it’s now twenty-two years, and she still puts up with me. And that is the real lesson here, I think. Yesterdays are what they are. But I’d be a fool to change one minute of my life since I met her. Without her, I’d be… I’m not exactly sure, but something very much different and less than I am now.
So “All my yesterdays” can stay yesterdays. I’m not just happy with my life, it’s the life I’d choose in a heartbeat given a choice in the matter. Looking back, I can’t believe how lucky I’ve been, most especially because of the person I’m supposed to be with, and was lucky enough to find, my wife.
Jim, I’m sorry about your loss but glad that you cleared the fog of nostalgia so that you can see, and appreciate, the life you have.
Damn. Look who posted the first response. 
Don’t be - it’s really interesting to see two snapshots of your life from 10 years apart sort of folded together like this. I’m sorry for your loss, and happy that you found love again. 
Glad to see that you are doing well—Hope the next ten years (and 20 and 30) are also filled with good things for you both…
Matthew
I noticed that too.
Of all the threads to get zombied.
Tomorrow is the anniversity of the death of MY “the one who got away”
Except we never were, and could never have been together.
Maybe this would have been the year when 11/21 would have been just another day.
Damn you Kristofferson - couldn’t you have kept that line to yourself?
JimOfAllTrades, IMO, it would have been a much wiser idea to tell your wife about the feelings you were having instead of posting what you did here on SD about "there are times when I feel the words of the song I just heard very strongly:
“I’d trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday…”
You said in your OP that you love your wife, however, you make it sound like she is second rate compared to the lady you lost. You make it sound like you would give away the life you have with your wife to just have one more yesterday with your old fiance`. What a cruel thing for you to say after you had been married to her for 10 years at the time of your original post.
IMO, after 10 years of being married to your wife, it was time for you to stop living in the past long ago, you should have stopped telling the “stories” of how much you had been in love with your old fiance`and should have just been happy for the life you had at that time with your wife.
I don"t understand? What did you notice too?
Don’t feel bad, Jim. She was special to you, she will always be part of your life and you honor her with your memory of her.
What, the guy is not allowed to have feelings? I can possibly see how you might think your post is justified by merely readin the OP, but did you read his follow-up post as well? I think you are being a few orders of magnitude too harsh.
Yes, he should be allowed to have feelings, but, the way he chose to convey those feelings was hurtful/uncaring and cruel towards his wife. The way he said "Although I am happy with my new life (New life?? Really? He had been married to his wife 10 years and he calls it his new life?) and love my wife, there are times when “hey, at times I get to feeling that I’d trade my life with my wife away just to spend a yesterday with my old fiance`” I bet that would make the wife feel all warm and fuzzy to know this, yes? The OP sounded like he really wasn’t all that content with his life and would have rather been back in the past with his old love.
I did read JimOfAllTrades follow up post, it was a very thoughtful, heartfelt post. IMO, it still doesn’t completely take away the fact that he “suggested” he’d give up the life he had with his wife to return to his past.
***But, that’s just my take on things… ***
Hope I never get taken to task for something I wrote 10 years ago…
Misfit, go have a cold shower. Then another one. Then again. You don’t understand loss, fine. But don’t berate someone whose feelings you simply do not comprehend.
FTR, Jim, my read on the OP was that you were, indeed, very happy with your wife - I see no contradiction between “I love my wife very much” and “sometimes I wish my old gf was still alive/sometimes I miss someone from my past”. Then again, I’m friends with several guys who list me as an old flame and their wives… 
Neva, though I did not go take a cold shower, I am going to respond to your post,
I don’t believe that I am berating JimOfAllTrades at all, I just feel that if he would have taken a moment to check his emotions before coming on the SD to post, he would have been able to express what he was actually feeling at the time.
The choice he made to come here and post all these “emotions” was a poor one and IMO, is not something his wife would care to read about online. I do not think he was being uncaring/hurtful on purpose, but, the message of “trading all my tomorrows for one single yesterday” was indeed unkind. To even think of trading his wife for his past life was cruel. Sure, he can miss/think of his old fiance once in awhile, but, in his original post he made it sound like his wife was somehow less than what his old fiancewas.
Oh, and FTR, I am JimOfAllTrades wife and I still love JimOfAllTrades with all my heart and soul. He is my everything. I think I comprehend his feelings more than most.
If that’s true, and you are still this insecure after 22 years, shame on you. Especially after the heartfelt posts by Jim. Even his first one states that he cares about you and is grateful for you. The loves and losses of our SOs make them who they are.
Show some respect for his ability to love, and his loyalty. I know what it is to be with a man who shows neither. That, my friend, sucks.
Earthbound Misfit I, we prefer that couples fight in their own homes, and not on our message board. Not cool, esp. to post several times before saying who you are.
I’ll close this thread.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator