Alas, it appears that Philster has stomped off, but for anyone else who was wondering how to discipline a one-year-old who is tearing things up…
Some people suggest restricting their movement. It isn’t hitting, but babies HATE it, especially when they are that age. Hold their arms down to their sides and don’t let them move, while you say “no.” You only have to do it for a few seconds and believe me, it has an effect.
So yes, you have options.
Quoting Throatshot’s post above:
Thought I should provide a cite for my fact:
Another interesting tidbit: VERY HIGH VOLTAGE power supplies can actually be less dangerous than the medium-high voltage used in wall outlets. By “very high”, I mean voltages well over 500 volts. High voltage can be less dangerous because high voltage can act as a natural heart-defibrillator. It re-starts your heart at the same time as it stops your heart. High voltage also tends to create very high currents, which force your muscles to contract, which can throw your body AWAY from the live conductors. If given the choice, I might prefer to touch a 1,000 volt wire than a 120 volt wire. With the 120 volts, my hands would latch onto the wire and I wouldn’t be able to let go. With the 1,000 volt wire there would be a big flash and a loud bang, and I could be thrown across the room. (The energy didn’t throw me, instead the current made the muscles of my legs and arms do the work.)
Sorry, Throatshot, there is some dangerous misinformation in that cite. Another quote from your cite:
“NOTICE: I’M NOT AN EXPERT IN ELECTRICAL SAFETY. IF YOU NEED LEGAL ADVICE, CONTACT A GENUINE EXPERT”
Voltage doesn’t mean squat in terms of lethality. Iirc from the electronics courses I took 30 years ago, frequecy (hertz) of the current and power (amps) are the critical factors. Electric current must have a certain level of power to be dangerous. Just a few amps can be dangerous. A certain range of frequencies are more likely to interfere with the body’s electric signals to the heart. Sixty hertz is more dangerous than 50 hz. Power (measured in amps) is certainly the most important factor.
I explained electricity to my daughter when she was 3. I let her play with a nearly drained 9-volt battery. When she mouthed it she got an uncomfortable but not dangrous shock. I told her it was electricity, and there was a LOT of electricity in the wall sockets. She got the point.
Just a few times during her 6 years it’s been necessary to restrain her by duct taping her hands and feet together- never for more than an hour.
Videotaping her (few) tantrums and having her see her own tantrums long after she has calmed down has been effective.
Time-outs are rarely used anymore at my house. Ocaisional grounding still happens.
I believe I have slapped her hand a couple times but it has been so long ago that the details are fuzzy.
I’ve got two kids and my wife and I have never hit either one of them. Complete strangers regularly come up to us in public and complement us on their behavior.
It’s been my experience that parents who hit their kids are generally lousy disciplinarians. They don’t pay attention to what the kids are doing, send inconsistent messages about what the rules are, let marginal misbehavior escalate into outright disobedience, and then step in with a smack when things get out of hand.
You’d be surprised how quickly you can snap a kid to attention with a barked order and a stern look – if you’ve previously laid the groundwork for this sort of discipline with a pattern of attention and intervention. Yes, it’s more work up front, but it pays huge dividends down the road with kids that respect your voice instead of your hand.
And yes, this works even for very small children in dangerous situations. Grab the child and physically stop him from running into traffic/playing with an outlet/touching the stove. Say “No!” in your harshest voice with your sternest expression. Repeat until he collapses in tears (usually takes about fifteen seconds for a one-year-old – when they’re really little parental disapproval is a very strong force) then hug them and explain why you scolded them. If this triggers a tantrum, hold them until it subsides. Neither one of my children needed this treatment more than once or twice for any given dangerous behavior.
It’s all about making clear who’s in change. If the only way you can convince you two-year-old that you’re the boss is by hitting him then you lost control of the situation a long time ago.
<nitpick><hijack>
Current is measured in units called Amperes (amps). In electricity, current is rather like ‘how much water is coming out of the faucet’, as it is ‘how many electrons are flowing.’
Power is measured in terms of Watts, which is the product of Voltage x Amperes.
The minimum voltage that can be felt by a human being (from Electro-Static Discharge), according to the book in front of me at the moment (A+ Certification) is 3000 Volts. The ‘shock’ a person feels after walking across a carpet and touching a doorknob can reach 25,000 Volts.
The reason this is not deadly is that the current experienced is extremely low. According to www.hypertextbook.com a minimum current of 0.0070 Amps has been enough to kill a human being by stopping the heart. 5 Amps is enough to singe hair and flesh, and is listed as one of the current levels used in the electric chair. These levels range from 5 to 20 Amps, using a voltage of anywhere from 700 to 20,000 Volts.
The actual specific numbers depend on the type of electricty applied, whether AC or DC (of which only AC has a component frequency measured in Hertz (Hz) - standard in the U.S. is 60 Hz.), and the relation of Volts to Amperes. A car battery of 12 Volts can produce hundreds of Amperes, but the voltage of the battery is low enough such that no appreciable amount of current can be made to flow through the rather high resistance human body. AC line voltage (that coming out of the wall) is far more lethal because the voltage (115 in the US) is high enough to cause current flow through the body, and the current (1+ Amps) is great enough to stop the heart. It is the frequency of the AC which causes the inability to ‘let go’ as the electrons sort of ‘wiggle’ back and forth at 60 Hz.
</nitpick></hijack>
Sorry, computer engineer couldn’t resist getting technical.
About ADD, ADHD and autism…
What I meant is that the toddler may have an undiagnosed case of it. Basically they would have similar behaviour to those conditions but you wouldn’t be explicitly aware that they had a mental problem.
Mr. Duality:
I had a similar idea except that involved a brand new battery and I’d ask them to lick it… I don’t think the shock from brand new 9V batteries would be dangerous at all. It could be used if they want to stick things in electrical sockets.
About electricity:
If I want to test the electricity (like an electric fence, etc) I use the back of my hand. That way there is no way your hand can grab it.
Krisfer the Cat:
I think it should mean that they have respect for others but also for themselves - to basically be thoughtful.
And this can mean them disobeying others if they think it is wrong. (e.g. if their father tells the kid to keep the molesting a secret)