Excellent point. Every woman is different, sometimes utterly so. 90% of the genital-oriented techniques in most sex literature would be right off the table with my current girlfriend–her clit isn’t very sensitive, and most of what she likes is exactly the opposite of what is usually suggested in professional sex advice written by women or by men.
The best way to make love to a woman is to love a woman, and the best way to love her is to know her.
Great thread, folks.
I had to look this up. Why yes, yes it is a nice spot.
I recently read an article in GQ titled “How To Rock The Man In The Boat”…
Something about imagine you’re spreading on frosting with thick and even strokes…
I liked that image very much! I like Altoids and I like two or three fingers sometimes. It’s always been difficult for me to orgasm with just oral stimulation but my bf is so enthusiastic and appreciative that I can’t not.
This book was invaluable. Common sense lessons, a few unique tricks, but presented in a easy-to-remember, easy-to-use format.
Buy the book for a lot of great stuff, but here are the highlights:
– Every woman is different
– That said, here’s our best state-of-the-art understanding of what all the erogenous zones are.
– Light pressure to start. Light pressure to stop-- unless she begs you for more pressure!
– He offered some interesting trick to force a man to practice licking the clitoris. My favorite was drawing the alphabet from A to Z, the back from Z to A. Everytime I tried that, never got too deep into the reverse alphabet :-).
– Not every woman like fingers-- some just don’t, other don’t have experience with good ones. The book teached you how to be good-- pacing, strength, positioning, technique. More oral is called for? No problem, then you perform the “clitoral clutch”, your index and middle fingers curled up inside with the tips touching the front wall/gspot area. No need to go grazy, you can just hold them there as a backstop for licking.
Or, use the fingers as your primary means of stimulation. The curling “come hither” move pressed up to the roof of the vagina/gspot is real crowd pleaser. The two fingers twisted together twirling in and out of a well-lubed vagina is also happy. More fingers as necessary/as demanded-- I’ve had 4 fingers easy, came THISCLOSE on slipping a 5th one. Darn me and my big monkey paws.
– Last but not lease, anal only if she wants it. Start simple-- rub her sphincter, don’t go diving in. Lots of lube. Rimming if she is clean (which she should be-- not just for the man, but for the woman-- half of the anxiety with anal is a fear of uncleanliness. An enema may strike people as overkill, but trust me, it makes everyone more confident. It’s worth it).
One finger inside is fun, a nice distraction from your mouth on her vagina. Two fingers starts introducing the stretch. There are two ways for anal sex to feel great-- depth and stretch. Alas, those are also the two ways for anal sex to hurt, so take it slow, be patient, LISTEN to what she’s telling you, let her know what you’re about to do.
Those two fingers-- quickly make them your two index fingers from your opposite hands. Push in all slick, let her adjust herself. Then, preferably while she’s got a vibrator in her vagina or against her clit (Hitatchi Magic Wand!! You will thank me), after she plateaus but before she comes, start to spread your two fingers wide inside her anus. Gently, of course, but when she starts coming, hold open her spasming anus, preventing it from closing.
She will thank you. After her eyes roll back into her head, that is.
Count Rugen?
You fucked my mother, prepare to die!