For the Guys: Would You Do This?

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK, a friend of mine has a crush on this guy who teaches her martial arts class. I guess he’s a youngish guy, in his 20s, and she’s a bit older (early thirties). She thinks he’s hot but doesn’t really see him as relationship material, for whatever reason (um, maybe b/c she doesn’t really know him).

Anyway, one of our guy friends told her, on the last day of class, she should just go up to him and tell him she thinks he’s smokin’ and wants to have sweaty, meaningless sex with him. My other female friend and I said, hey, no way that would work. I mean, who would have the stones to ask that? And who would agree to it? So I’ve been taking an informal poll, and every guy I’ve asked has said, IF the woman in question was moderately attractive and IF he had no prior commitments, sure, he’d go for it.

So, guys, imagine you’re single and in your early 20s, and some decent-looking 30ish woman drops said proposition on you. Would you do it? Any women who, in a similar sitution with the genders reversed, would do it? Just curious.

2

depends on the girl and both of our… umm… situations… Who am I kiddin’? If she’s warm, and has a (somewhat) fairly stable pulse I probably would… honesty… SOLID!

3

Guys in their early 20s who are devoutly religious and opposed to fornication, or sincerely faithful to another woman will run a mile. The other 99.5% will go for it.

She might want to be a bit more tactful/less potentially intimidating about how she phrases it - “dinner and then back to my place?”, or something.

4

So what you’re saying is, she has to pretend she wants to go on a date with him, wine & dine him, and then just attack him? How oddly reversed-stereotype that is! Do guys want to be woo’ed too? Do guys in their 20s want to be woo’ed? Or would a guy find it refreshing if a woman just said, “Hey cowboy, let’s get it on, you and me, no nets and no strings…”

5

Well, if an attractive woman said that to me, I’d have some doubts about her mental stability.

But yes, I’d find it refreshing, and yes, I’d do her (assuming I had no other relationship, and the odds would be damn good for that in just about any period of my life).

BTW, “dinner and then back to my place?”, is not, IMHO, pretending interest in a date. It’s simply gathering the nutrients and fluids necessary for a prolonged bout of sweaty meaningless sex (as specified in the OP).

6

Yes. Yes, I would. The easiest way to seduce me (aside from showing up naked and bringing beer, which is harder logistically) is to indicate that you want to.

Subtle has its place, but its place is nowhere near me.

7

One of the biggest stereotypes that women have of men is that men are ready to do it anywhere, with any woman, at any time. If you’re friend thinks that way about men, and he turns her down, she’s in for a real ego-crusher.

8

Are ya kiddin’?

I wear a condom all the time for just such an occasion.

I’m wearing a condom right now…

But seriously I have to agree with Pucky on this one.

Case in point: I met a girl maybe two weeks ago who made it very clear to a mutual friend that she wants to do the horizontal hokey-pokey with me. Her words to him “I’d make him my minute man” Whatever that means.

Anyhoo long story short I’m not going to sleep with her just to sleep with her. I wouldn’t feel right about the whole thing for some strange reason. Besides she scares me(Its not her looks,she’s cute, its her brash nature)

Did I just say that? where’s my coat…

9

Why are these women always on the other side of the globe??

10

As a fellow martial artist, not only would I politely say no, I would ask she not return to the class anymore. It is a fundimental barrier of respect. IMHO it would be just as wrong as having sex w/ a college professor.

-x out

11

I wouldn’t do it with a girl who’d demand it. Nor would I join a club that’d have me. That’s cause I respect myself in the morning. :slight_smile:

And anyways, what’s wrong with the old fashioned way – wearing a tight outfit and coming on like gangbusters?

xenothrob, As for telling her not to come back, this may not have the impact you’re searching for, as we’re talking about the last day of class. Read OP first, daniel-san!

12

I guess I should moderate my post a bit, to take Pucky Schumer and Tony Montana’s posts into account.

I should point out that I am a total slut, and can in no way be assumed to speak for any member of the male sex other than myself.

Yep, I’m easy. I’m a cheap date, too. “Steel Magnolias” was a hell of a good movie. I used to cook professionally, so a morning after breakfast is pretty much certain, and will be good.

Aw, I’ve spent so much time re-reading the above that I’ve gotten serious again.

Sex is sex. It doesn’t have to be about anything else. It can be, maybe it should be, but it doesn’t have to be.

There’s the kind of sex that’s the expression of undying love between soul mates, there’s the kind of sex that’s just about getting off, and there’s what I call “Gin Rummy” sex.

Two people who find nothing objectionable about one another can get together every now and again and engage in a mutual interest. Gin Rummy is a good example, IMO, because it’s a card game played by two people. If you’re both into it, why not go for it? As long as you keep it friendly and safe, you should be okay.

I’ve done that before. I’ll do it again. As long as nobody’s got any Fatal Attraction tendencies or a spouse with a firearm, it can be good.

I can’t speak for any other guys, but for me it’s a relief to be hit on, it takes a lot of the pressure off.

As for “Who has the stones to ask that”, what do you think every guy who’s ever asked you to dance or tried to buy you a drink really meant? If we liked dancing, there would be clubs where we went to dance with each other in a non-gay athletic activity way, and if we just wanted to give away alcohol there’d be a lot more happy winos.

13

Yep. I would assume it was some kind of joke at first, but once I’m convinced of her sincerity, it’s on.

It’s fun having a woman come on to you. I guess it helps if you are attracted to strong women who aren’t afraid to take what they want.

14

Put me down for an ABSOLUTELY

15

One question: If he says “No!” will you introduce her to me?

16

I’ve never had such a situation present itself, but every time a somewhat attractive girl has aggressively pursued me it’s worked. Those kind of stones in a woman, drives me nuts.

Erek

17

Ok, I’d do in in a heartbeat, same disclaimer about all the obvious other conflicts, presuming I was attracted to her. If I simply found her “unobjectionable” then I’d probably pass on it, unless it’d been a really long time for me. If she wanted dinner first like mentioned above, I’d skip it. Would make it sound insincere about the “no strings attached” promise.

18

Woman: “Would you like to fuck?”
Me: “Yes.”

It is that simple.

19

Well, I talked to my friend (not that she was thrilled to find that strangers were discussing her crush, but she can just deal-- that’s the joy of anonymity). She said she doesn’t even know HOW old he is, nor if he has a girlfriend, and due to the “fundamental barrier of respect” that Xenothrob mentioned, she has no idea how to determine his status in either category without seeming too forward. Thus, propositioning him would be a much higher risk. Also, she is terrified of being rejected, having put herself out there (so to speak) in so blatant a manner.

I reassured her that it seems like the majority of guys would not turn her down, if they were single and she wasn’t hagsville (she’s not). I don’t think that fact will give her enough courage to approach him. After all, what if he’s only 20 and has a girlfriend? As Janeane Garofalo said in The Truth about Cats and Dogs, “Disappointment only maims; it’s rejection that kills.” She’d rather ogle him and preserve her dignity, relegating him to the realm of fantasy. Me, personally, I don’t know that I could restrain myself, but then again, I’m not her.

Is the age thing a barrier here, guys? She’s in her early thirties, and she thinks he could be as young as 21-22. Do guys that age find women a decade older hot? Or would they find her scary/pathetic/desperate?

20

She could start by saying ‘I know it’s personal, but do you have a girlfriend’? All guys will be flattered (though poss. emabrassed)even if they have to say ‘fraid so’, or ‘just broken up, not dating’

I’d also recommend the ‘dinner & coffee’ approach.

NB: last class - what does she have to lose?