For the ladies-being asked for sex

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hey there,

I often hear the expression ‘ask for sex’ and its cognates. I was wondering:

[ol]
[li]Have you ever been openly propositioned by someone you weren’t dating? No ‘wandering hands’ type subterfuge, but an open ‘would you like to have sex?’[/li][li]Did you go for it?[/li][li]How do you feel about such propositions in general?[/li][/ol]

Thanks!
pdts

2

No, I haven’t been asked outright, thankfully. Any woman who would accept must be desparate for any male companionship (no offense).

3

Really? I was envisaging a scenario like this: you’re friends with a girl, having a few beers at your place or something.

If a girl asked me, whether I said yes or no, I’d be flattered.

pdts

4

There are subtle ways to let others know you are interested. If used, then the one wanting to ask doesn’t have to feel bad if they are rebuffed, they’d have an idea if it was welcome or not.

5

There are subtle ways to let others know you are interested. If used, then the one wanting to ask doesn’t have to feel bad if they are rebuffed, they’d have an idea if it was welcome or not.

6

Precisely. For me, appearing nude on the door step of the pursued young lady is a much more nuanced and socially appropriate way of demonstrating my attraction as regular readers of, “Dear Abby” will surely appreciate. If she politely declines by amorous advances, face can easily be saved by gently guiding the conversation in the direction of my new involvement in the burgeoning naturist movement.

7
  1. Yes
  2. Yes
  3. As long as the person is polite and doesn’t hound me if I say no, I think it’s fine.

The one time I did it, I just happened to be in a place where I wanted no strings attached sex and that guy fit the bill. It ended up being not really great, but I wouldn’t let that one less than stellar experience keep me from trying it again if I ever found myself in the same position.

8

Yes, I was openly asked one time when I was about 26 and married. I had gone to a national conference and chatted about professional issues, as one does at these events, with a fellow participant.

Afterward, we “happened” to be on the same elevator on the way to our hotel rooms (duh, in retrospect I realize he must have planned it that way) and he turned to me and blurted “Do you … fool around?”

No, but I do break out in astonished peals of laughter, with no pity for the feelings of others, when asked a totally absurd question.

The next day he came up and apologized. He said “it was the wine talking.”

Uh-huh. Sure, if you say so.

I think this story answers all the OP’s questions. Yes, I have been openly propositioned. No, I did not go for it. Such propositions from a virtual stranger are … comic.

9
  1. yes
  2. no
  3. I’ve of two minds about it. On one hand I’ve never said yes because I probably wouldn’t have slept with the askers under any cirumstances. On the other, there are a few guys I know who are charming enough to pull it off, as blunt as it is a method.
10
  1. yes
  2. no
  3. Typical male behavior, no biggie.

I’ve responded with peals of laughter, a sincere ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ a “shooting death rays from my eyes you sleazy bottom feeder, you” look, a threat/promise to tell his wife and my husband if he didn’t knock it off (it was like the third time, guy was a just a raging moron) and a “let them down gently as I can” type pf response.

11

From the male perspective, I’ve asked three girls in person, and it’s worked on half of them. One said yes, one said no (and it wasn’t awkward, we just changed the subject), and the other said no, and later changed her mind and brought it up again.

12

Yes, no, and usually the guys who bluntly ask a stranger for sex are total sleazeballs.

13

Is this a toast? If so, I’d like to send out another one to all those ladies being asked for sex. We love you ladies. Don’t stop being asked for sex! That’s what you’re here for. Somebody’s gotta be asked for sex. Here’s to you!

ETA: Have an extra cognate on me!

14
  1. Yes
  2. I thought I had, once, when a guy asked if I’d like to come back to his place to “drink tea and look at pictures from India”. Imagine my confusion when he made me tea and showed me pictures from India.
  3. Depends on who’s asking and in what manner - it can range from flattering to disgusting. But a polite request for a bit of hide-the-sausage is brave and deserves a polite answer.
15

I asked once, in college, and was politely rebuffed. I’m still friends with the girl, so she must not have been too upset about it.

16

What makes him a sleazeball – that he wants to have a one-nighter with a stranger, or that he asks? (The former just makes him a guy, IMO.)

The really major sleazeballs, of course . . . don’t ask.

17

Maybe if you didn’t enjoy it the first time, you should try a different position.

I didn’t realise sleazeball = rapist.

As a guy, I can’t imagine ever being rude enough to ask, because I’m not that type of person - definitely not charming enough to get away with it! I think the only situation I could contemplate it would be with a girl I knew really well who somehow signalled she might say yes - but that may be outside the criteria of the OP, anyway.

18
  1. Yes
  2. Yes
  3. Relieved I didn’t have to put up with the pretense of laughing at a stupid joke or something just to get laid. Hell, I’ve done the asking before.
19
  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. He was actually rather charming, as hard as that may be to imagine given the bluntness of his approach. The way he asked wasn’t the deal-breaker. I’d have to say that given different circumstances, I may have thought about it a bit more.
20

That he asks, and the way he asks. If a guy propositions me within five minutes of saying “Hi”, then I think he’s a sleazeball.

A guy who propositions me when I’m >this close< to making the high score on a video game (and setting an arcade record) is >this close< to losing his balls.