I have a funny happy counterbalance story to this one, a friend of mine shared it with me. There was a girl who was in an open relationship with a guy. But she wasn’t regular by any means, she was, in fact, exceptionally promiscious, so much so that when she got pregnant, like the example you gave, she wasn’t sure if it was her regular guy, or a close friend of his.
Since they got along so well, however, they agreed that the child would simply have two fathers. Not only that, but they went on to convince the parents, al three pairs, to accept this fact, so that the child had three pairs of grandparents. By the time a DNA test became an option (I think that’s still pretty expensive), they were all so happy with the arrangement that they decided not to test at all.
WhyNot, have you or your husband ever had any extracurricular activity with someone else in a poly relationship? How did that work out? I imagine treading lightly with the complex feelings of that many people could be difficult.
Last year I had a deep friendship with a man in an open marriage. While it looked like (and he told me his intent was) we were going to “go there,” he and his wife were really looking for another woman to become part of their family. Because I’m not interested in that, I sort of let things fade away. No problems, per se. Just gently let it be known that that wasn’t a relationship I was lookiing for.
WhyDad’s been with several women who also had other partners. It sometimes seems to grate on him a bit, but never caused any major problems. He’s told me he didn’t feel as “connected” to them, but whether that was because they had other partners or it was just a personality thing, I really couldn’t say.
But generally speaking, yes, I’d say the more people involved, the more potential for complications.
I didn’t say he gets annoyed, I said he feels there’s less intense of a connection there. As for why there’s not less of a connection between he and I, neither he nor I can explain it. But it helps to explain why he married me, instead of us just dating. We maintain a strong connection despite my seeing others.
I learned years ago not to psychoanalyze the man. That’s his therapist’s job.
The worst crisis is one unrelated to the polyamory, and so it’s not relevant to this thread. And I don’t want to answer anyway. That’s MY therapist’s job!
(completely OT reply) Yes, but not badly, surprisingly enough. Jason got a flat tire on the shoulder of the highway and was changing it when his car was sideswiped. His car fell off the jack or something, and pushed him over and crushed his foot under the wheel. He was able to call an ambulance on his cell, and all was well under control by the time I called him. But it was still pretty freaky. He was changing the passenger side tire on the right side shoulder, and the car never stopped, so the driver may not have even known he injured someone. Or he was an ass and drove off anyway.
That’s MY therapist’s job!