Alright! Now that I’ve got permission…
rubs hands with glee
So enilorac… how YOU doin’?
**
Baseball!!! Can we talk baseball, DRY? The Indians beat Tampa Bay tonight! Florida is steamy!
[sub]Oh, they were just so horrible!!! They hate baseball, you know! This is such a scary place.[/sub]
[sub]Uh oh, Audrey’s p*ssed![/sub]
Sweetheart, I’m just as guilty as you. Let’s stand in the corner together and take a time out. 
You asked about C.C. Sabathia in the other thread, yeah, he’s a lefty. Throws extremely hard, very tough to hit.
Has great stuff, possibly #1 starter stuff, but might end up as a reliever. He, Danys Baez, and Tim Drew will hopefully join Bartolo Colon and Jaret Wright in giving the Indians a dominant rotation.
Now, enough about pitching. How’s about you being Omar Vizquel to my Robbie Alomar? (for I concede that it’s you that makes our team special, my sweet fielding shortstop) Just let me put on my…glove.
Sorry, but you got bumped to the back of the line, thanks to THIS comment:
But hey, don’t worry about it…you can always go to Iampunha’s and Montfort’s thread and flirt there. Which one of them took you…?
Err…um…
::fleeing::
audrey dear, calm down i’m sure there’s a good reason why your inbox isn’t flooded with love letters and fan mail
:eek:
Enilorac, welcome to the boards!
You are obviously quite perceptive and intelligent, the company you keep notwithstanding:
“Company, villanous company, hath been the
spoil of me.”
–Henry IV, part 1, Act 3, Scene iii
And you are right, there’s a good reason why Audrey’s inbox isn’t filled with love letters and fan mail.
It’s because I’ve fallen for her friend!
Who has become:
“all the faith, the virtue of my heart,
The object and the pleasure of mine eye”
–A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 4, Scene i
:mad:
Frannie, ya wanna talk baseball without being molested by Shakespearean perverts? I can talk baseball with you!
enilorac, 
And lastly:
Bastard! I mean that most affectionately, of course…
How do you know that mine wasn’t simply retaliation for the bisexual rumours you started?
I love the way you flirt!
[sub]And there he goes again, flirting with every other female on the board… Just when you think you’re special…
Who HAVEN’T you fallen for? And exactly how many women have you proposed marriage to? Tsk, DRY!
I see I’m being accused of being part of the hijacking problem on the other thread; how did this happen? I merely offered the insightful comment that they were obviously not making the correct choice. Geez
**
Ahem
I would like to humbly, deeply, and sincerely apologize to AudreyK.
She is, in fact, not, bisexual. I implied so, and have since discovered I was wrong. The gentlemanly thing to do is to apologize.
How was I informed of my error, you ask?
Shakespeare told me. Shakespeare knows all. And thanks to him, I discovered that Audrey is not bisexual.
[sub]However, I did discover an interesting cough preference:[/sub]
“Come apace, good Audrey: I will fetch up your
goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey?” :eek:
–As You Like It, Act 3, scene iii
Well, after learning the above, I agree that you’re certainly special.
Err…unique, anyway.
Sir…it is an HONOR to be associated with you–and I quite agree that you are truly a gourmet among gourmands when it comes to the fairer sex. Your palate for the ladies is most discerning, your taste in the ladies most exquisite.
I invite you to indulge yourself in flirting here, with the fine women who have chosen to associate with us.
Welcome, good sir!
The TOP of your list??
I am truly blessed and touched, particularly as the praise is forthcoming from such a fair and honourable maiden as you:
“honour of a maid is her name; and
no legacy is so rich as honesty.”
–All’s Well that Ends Well, Act 3, Scene v
It has been quite a while since I’ve seen you around, Wacky Ninja, and I don’t know if absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I’ve missed having you to flirt with:
“It gives me wonder great as my content
To see you here before me. O my soul’s joy!”
–Othello, Act 2, Scene i
Hey, honey, what are YOU doing on this board at this hour? I almost never get to flirt-I mean, conduct meaningful discussions about the important things in life-with you in real time!
Okay, so did you happen to catch the 19 inning game the Mariners WON the other night? If I hadn’t been on vacation, I would have had to give it up and go to bed.
So, what’s up tonight?
Mr. Snake, you say? What a weird name. So, what are the two of you planning on doing this evening?
Say, by the way, AudreyK and I are planning on flying to LA to slap you around a little. And, not in a good way, if you catch my drift.
Duck, run and flee all you want, you will not be able to get out of this one. No way, no how. Even Shakespeare cannot save you now, my love.
Scotti Braveheart
On your knees, knave!
::grumble grumble:: shoulda consulted him in the first place…
You owe me a love letter for that one, shnookums.
And another.
Goodness, DRY, you certainly know how to sweet-talk a woman!
Indeed, fair maiden, there is no more needed!
I don’t really believe in this picking stuff, either: as I’ve said previously, there is a veritable plethora of fair ladies here. To pick one out of all of you lovely and gifted ladies would be pointless:
“To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw a perfume on the violet,
To smooth the ice, or add another hue
Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light
To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish,
Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.”
–King John, Act 4, Scene ii
I am honored by your opinion of me as a really nice guy, though to that end I must chide you gently for believing, in a previous thread, that I had something against flirting. Nothing could be further than the truth!
Though new to the Straight Dope Message Board (and by the way, I offer you my much belated welcome!), it has become obvious to me, nay, to everyone here, what a charming and precious lady you are:
“You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
Have too a woman’s heart; which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings”
–King Henry VIII, Act 2, Scene iii
OESGal, I thank you for your kind words.
::bows low::
Scotti, I think that by reading between the lines here, you can figure out what DRY’s doing tonight with Mr. Snake. :eek:
Kidding, sweetie!
Which is really unfortunate, considering Shakespeare is probably what got him into trouble in the first place.
**
Clearly I was waiting for you. I searched for you in every street in hell*
*[sub]not a profanity per se, but a line from The Lion in Winter–the GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE![/SUB]
**
Alas, I fear not…I was composing paens to your beaut…oh, I already used that line, didn’t I? :eek:
**
Tease! I thought the line was “Not tonight dear, I have a headache!” 
**
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”
–Henry V, Act 3, Scene i
**
“Let not the heavens hear these tell-tale women
Rail on the Lord’s enointed”
–Richard III, Act 4, Scene iv
So, darlin’, howsabout you fly into San Fransisco, I’ll meet you there, and we do the town before heading down to LA to bust his chops? We could have some fun, find a nice cheap tub of tar, a bunch of feathers, and head on down the road to LA.
Hey, you have to admit, we should have NO problem finding these items in SanFran.
Let me know what plane to meet!
Scotti