Isn’t this kind of like the old joke:
AudreyK: If you were my husband, I’d poison you!
DRY: If you were my wife, I’d take it!
Chicks rule!!
Hey, where did Myrr disappear to?
I think you scared him away.
As apparently, you did every other male that even THOUGHT of posting to this thread.
Speak for yourself, honey, the man is a SERIAL FLIRTER!
I have never been more disappointed in my life. This tends to make me testy.
Say, have you ever heard of cement overshoes? Just a thought, but whaddayou think?
Scotti the hit woman 
But your goats! What about them?
I SOOOOOOO did not scare him away!! He’s probably sleeping.
Scotti, about those cement shoes…
Oh, all right, I’ll take them.
I guess I have to have something to remember you by. 
This is one souvenir I’m SURE you’ll “enjoy.”
Audrey, my friend-
I am ashamed to say that I DO know him quite well.
And-
Much as I hate to clear the man’s reputation, I do have to say that I do not think that he has a thing for goats. I know him intimately,(in a platonic sense) and never have I ever gotten the feeling that he has any kind of animal fetish. Except for maybe Mr. Snake. And BTW, [WHO THE HECK IS MR. SNAKE?) Inquiring minds want to know, and no one ever tells me anything!
Scotti
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Scotticher *
**
The last time you asked me what frottage was, I told you, and you turned red. BRIGHT, BRIGHT RED. We’re talking, full body blush here.
I’ll let AudreyK explain about the snake thing. She’s been known to punch guys in the groin:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=32035
And she wonders why I flirt with everyone else. 
So he IS a nice, normal guy, huh? Darn. So what’s with that shyness problem of his? You know, the one that forces him to flirt with every woman on the board?
Okay. I’ll tell you about Mr. Snake. It’s not a WHO, it’s a WHAT, although, ya know, most men do treat this anatomical feature as though it was capable of independent thought. Who knows; it very well could be. You know what I mean?
Fer cryin’ out loud!
Jeez, make ONE reference to accidentally jabbing a guy down below, and it haunts you forever.
My defense is that 1) it was an accident, 2) it was in the sixth grade, a full ten years ago!, and 3) he deserved it! I have since matured into sensible young woman and would NEVER sink to such depths.
Unless he deserved it.
dry’s quote
And she wonders why I flirt with everyone else.
well she doesn’t wonder she knows why obviously u’re goats just don’t give you much intellectual stimulation thus your quoting shakespeare every chance you get.
“Your honor, let’s let Ms AudreyK read from her own transcript”:
“Let the record show that, in the referenced thread, the two posters who complained most vociferously of AudreyK’s heinous, misanthropic assault on the very core of a good man’s masculinity were DRY and Myrr21!”
(Gasps from the court room)
“Clearly, we’re talking about premeditation, your honor. This Lorena Bobbitt wanna-be, this shameful assaulter of men, clearly STALKED both of the male posters in question with malice aforethought. I demand that she be punished to the fullest extent the law allows.”
OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!
Your Honor, the prosecution is in error in asserting that the incident was malicious and intentional! This is completely absurd! The defendant is an upstanding citizen, really, a model for today’s youth. It is offensive to eve SUGGEST she would stoop to such a low attack!
The defense would like to show, Your Honor, irrefutable proof that Myrr21 and the defendant have since made amends and have in fact begun flirting all over the board. Without a doubt, the prosecution’s claims are baseless, and no doubt the result of being mercilessly ganged up upon by his jilted former flirtees.
The defense moves that this case be dismissed!!
“The lady protests too much, methinks.”
–Hamlet, Act 3, Scene ii
HEY! :mad:
I think Scotti is asleep. Either that, or she passed out after you explained “Mr. Snake” to her.
So, should we start flirting again?
I might be willing to take the chance, if you PROMISE to be gentle with “Mr. Snake”:
“Is love a tender thing?
it is too rough,
Too rude, too boisterous,
and it pricks like thorn.”
–Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Scene iv
I think the latter is the most likely. Maybe she got some nasty mental pictures from Mr. Snake’s name?
“Might”?? Sweetie, you make it sound so iffy. That’s hardly incentive for me, you realize.
::sigh::
Okay. I promise to be my sweet, caring self from this day forth. I’ll treat Mr. Snake as though he were my own… :eek: Wait, no… nix that…
Scotti, forgive me for taking Mr. DRY back. I know, he’s a serial flirt… but I’m such a sucker for his words sometimes.
::sigh:: Men!
I’m a disgrace to women everywhere! 