So Gene Simmons is the most unappealing man according to dopers!
If my husband opened his mouth and THAT came out,
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madmonk would hear my shriek all the way from Jakarta.
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I’d be sure I was having a bad flashback. And I’ve never even taken LSD.
From the reactions in this thread, are we to assume that it’s a how not to guide? 
Dude wears a teeshirt during the um, proceedings. And he’s playing Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Foreigner?!
I must admit to curiosity about how you learned these details.
Obviously not on a lot of Doperchicks.
Yeah, but it’s not like just because it can reach 5" out of his mouth that he has no control over it. It’s not like he’d open is mouth to french kiss and then “oops” it slipped down your throat.
Yeah, but it’s probably best to ignore these things. Kind of like how you should ignore Chyna’s sex tape (One Night in Chyna) which features her inch long, penis-like, pierced clit.
And I guess judging from the responses in this thread, it makes the following old joke not work, eh?
"One night a fairly unattractive older guy walks into a bar with 4 gorgeous women at his side. He sits and chats with them, while they go and buy him drinks. The bartender watches the scene for awhile, and when the women go off to the ladies’ en masse, approaches the guy. He says, ‘I couldn’t help but notice how amazing the women you’re with look. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not the most attractive guy in the world, you can’t have all that much money as the women are buying your drinks, and no one at your table has really been laughing much, so it doesn’t seem like you have a naturally sparkling personality. What’s your secret? Why are all these women so interested in you?’
The old guy looks up at the bartender, licks his eyebrow thoughtfully, and says, ‘I honestly have no idea.’"
You know, don’t you, that by now this thread will have shown up on routine search, and that somewhere the Great Man himself is reading this…
So at the risk of hijacking this thread, if the tongue doesn’t do it for you, perhaps a line of constructive feedback on how else His Geneness might shape himself into a from agreeable to the average lady Doper might be in order? (Not, of course, to imply that a lady Doper could ever be average.)
M
I don’t think the local folk are his demographic…and I’ll just bet he doesn’t need etiquette lessons from us, I suspect he’s doing just fine.
Well, what have I learned from all this ?
- Women are not turned on by large and dextrous tongues
- Women are not turned on by Gene Simmons. (except Fessie and Guinastasia)
- And given the volume and speed of the replies to this OP, women are inclined to respond regarding Gene Simmons. Not sure what that means though.
I still don’t like his tongue, though - that “come hither” flickering tongue thing IS icky.
My husband made that face at me a couple of times back when we were dating (he was a dorky teenager, give him a break). I didn’t actually realize what it was supposed to mean for the longest time – I thought he was just being weird. :smack: It definitely was not sexy. OTOH, watching his hand, unbeknownst to him, as he cut a pear on one of our early dates – HOT HOT HOT.
Hmmm, new thread perhaps? – if you decide to ask about sexiest man-parts, I vote for hands. Oh, yes.
This just has to be the subject of a new thread: Doper Women: Who is less appealing than Gene Simmons? (I hope Richard is in the voting 
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Eh, I’d do it just to find out if it’s worth the hype.
If he’s doing what I’ve got him there for it’s not like I’m going to have to listen to him talk anyway.
This is some sort of lewd metaphor I’m just not getting, isn’t it.
Absolutely not. No way.
Scene from Mad About You
Paul, licking wedding invitation envelopes: You know, if I had two tongues, I’d be the happiest person on earth right now.
Jamie, walking by, lighting cigarette: Second happiest.
Anyone flicking his tongue is gross to me. Gene included. But I do think he’s funny. And he has made some good business decisions and I don’t think he’s an idiot. I just wouldn’t want that tongue, or any tongue that’s been where that one has been, near me. It’s a tongue thing, not a Gene Simmons’s Tongue thing.
I’m not finding a link to the Tonight show clip. Anyone have it?
There is nothing - physical, mental, emotional, intellectual or any other -al I can think of - attractive about Gene Simmons.
VCNJ~
Doperchicks no, chicks on dope, most likely.
It is neat to watch, but no, doesn’t turn me on.
Brief story for you – I semi-dated a guy in high school who could lick his own eyebrows. His tongue was ungodly long (obviously). Kissing him was like having a dick in your mouth – not that there’s anything wrong with that, but ya know, if you want a dick in your mouth, you want a dick in your mouth, not a tongue the size of a dick. We always got giggles when he would demonstrate the eyebrow licking, but since I never did more than kiss him, I don’t know if the tongue was better for other things. He went through a “I’m gay” phase before deciding he was bisexual, and last I heard he was back to heterosexual – so I am sure several people know if it’s any good, but I am not one of them.
Interesting User Name/Post Subject there.