Forced to emigrate to a new country: where do you go and why?

Let’s say that sick bastard Fabulous Creature finally manages to conquer something–specifically whatever country you happen to live in. Afterwards he loses interest in war-mongering and settles down to doing some serious evil god-kinging. All political dissent is suppressed; 5 random people fed to the tigers every Tuesday morning; all subjects must worship at the Church of the One True Manticore, and so on. (It’s a given that he’ll be setting up an impractically big harem. Sick bastard.)

FC’s sci-fi arsenal is so devastating that all the great powers decide it’s easier to wait for him to die of a pickle overdose than to liberate the country he’s conquered, so no external help is coming. However, for old times’ sake, the new god-king decides to let any Dopers* in his country emigrate to a new country of their choosing. You get to take your immediate family (spouse/domestic partner, children, and pets), your passport, your computer, and the clothes you’re wearing when you get on the plane…and that’s it. All your domestic bank accounts are frozen, and the Brute Squad does a cavity search before letting you board the plane to make sure you land in your new home as a pauper.

Where do you go and what do you do?

Well, I wasn’t forced to emigrate, but Thailand is a good choice. Great weather (although a tad on the hot side sometimes, like this time of year), great infrastructure, Western-style healthcare, low cost of living and they like Americans.

Ah, but Fab just conquered Thailand (since that’s where you’re leaving now) and, whoreson that he is, has proceeded to engage in massive, victor-von-doomesque oppression of everybody. Where do you take refuge?

Fortunately, I can go to Thailand!

I would skip over to Cambodia and barricade myself in a great little single-malt bar I know of on the riverfront in Phnom Penh. They’ll never take me sober!

Oh waita minnut. He takes my money away? I don’t think i’d want to be a pauper in Cambodia. Of course, I have a friend I could look up in Phnom Penh. He’d stake me out.

But if he weren’t around, I think I’d hit one of the wealthier Euro nations then. Good for street begging.

The UK! I already have a bank account there (not an easy feat, let me tell you – even though it only has 100GBP in it), I have some friends who’d put me up, and two ex-jobs that might rehire me (even though they were crap low paying jobs…). Plus, I just love the place – I’d emigrate there now if they let me.

There’s a bunch of countries I think I could live in.

Australia. No worries, mate! I have a friend who said he’d give me a job. Victoria Bitter, sexy girls and about a million miles of beaches. I am actually thinking about it, but not too seriously.

**New Zealand. ** All types of crazy different geography. Cool people and no liability stupidity like America. It’d be kind of hard to get a job, so I’d have to open a bar or a hamburger stand (or have the best taco stand in all of NZ!). I’d have to buy a sailboat if I lived there, but that’s not a problem.

Ireland. A bit too rainy but I love the country. Guinness, Irish whiskey, and Irish music!

England. I’d like to live in London even though it’s ridiculously expensive. Somewhere near a tube stop. Always a ton of stuff to do and you’ll never see everything.

Canada. Hey, it’s just like America but not warmongering. It’s way too cold for me, but I think I could survive in BC. I really like Vancouver Island and Victoria.

Spain. Yikes, my Spanish sucks but there might be a chance if I was completely immersed in the culture. Nice and warm on the Spanish Riviera. Barcelona is one of my favorite cities on the planet but I’d rather learn Castilian than Catalan.

Italy. It’s been 27 years since I’ve been there, but it’s got all kinds of things going for it. Beautiful women, food, culture, museums, art, beaches, the alps,
and beautiful women.

Thailand. Beaches, bar girls, street food to die for. A bit too humid for me but I think I could get used to it. I’d have a very difficult time picking up the language. Gack, I cannot deal with tonal languages.

Viet Nam. Kind of the same thing as Thailand, but I think the government would be quite a bit more oppressive.

Chile. Modern country with boatloads of natural beauty.

I’ve never been to the mainland Mexico, Costa Rica, or Panama, but I could imagine retiring to any of those places.

On preview, like Siam Sam said, whoa, no money? I spent a bunch of time typing this out, so I ain’t editing it. Australia wouldn’t let me in because you have to have something like a half a million dollars in assets, but barring that, at least my friend could give me a job. My technical skills have gone to crap so I’d be pretty much worthless in most countries, unless I could plea for a job at one of the distributors for my ex-company (Australia, Spain, England). I’ve got the work ethic of a stoned hippy so I couldn’t pick fruit or be a janitor. I’m old and ugly so I couldn’t be a prostitute. Yeah, I’d be screwed.

I’d go straight to Ilocos Norte in the Philippines with my girlfriend and live with her family. They own a gas station, and supposedly her uncle has a million motorcycles so he’d probably let me borrow one for transportation. The province is right on the coast and I’ve heard it has amazing beaches. So, this is altogether not a very bad situation for me.

Canada. Because I love it for all the ways it’s not the U.S., and for all the ways it’s like the U.S.

As to what I’d do – I’d work. I’ll do pretty much anything that’s not illegal or immoral. I’ve made beds, scrubbed toilets, waited tables, swabbed decks, and I’d do any of it again to make a living. So I’d get to work making a paycheck to set up a life, and then I’d strart socking money away to take whatever classes or tests were necessary to allow me to practice my profession in Canada. IOW, I’d start over. Seems like that’s be about all I could do. That and learn the rest of the words to the Canadian national anthem, the ones that come after “Oh, Canada, our home and native land” but before “we stand on guard for thee.” :slight_smile:

[ol]
[li]Ireland[/li][li]Australia[/li][li]Canada[/li][li]Sweden[/li][li]Norway[/li][li]New Zealand[/li][li]South Africa[/li][li]The UK[/li][li]Bulgaria[/li][/ol]

In that order of preference.

Make of it what you will.

I’d go to Ireland as I have a lot of contacts, friends, bank accounts, credit cards and a flawless credit rating over there. If that’s too close for comfort, and Fabulous Creature’s tyrrany spills over the border (and of course the running dog will no doubt have taken over the BBC and revoked its charter of independence, so the quality of TV available in Ireland would plummet) I would high-tail it to Thailand. If his goon squads followed me there with assassination on their minds, you’d find me in New Zealand, taking a steam train from Wellington to Auckland.

Nebraska.

Okay, that’s not a country, but it’s in a different country and my boyfriend lives there.

If he takes over the US while I’m living there, I’ll just come back here :smiley:

Brisbane, Australia. One of my best friends lives there and I want an excuse to go there, anyway.

Canada, I would hardly even notice the difference. If not there, then England is my second choice. I would kill to live in Europe.

Do all the other countries also decide to accept refugees to avoid antagonizing Fabulous Creature?

If so, the Netherlands, because I’d want to get really stoned for a while to mellow out after all that stress.

If not, another vote for Ireland. Mostly because they speak English, and secondly because I can claim citizenship there as the child of someone born in Ireland, so I wouldn’t be turned away.

Why would *you * leave if **Fabulous Creature ** conquered the country? I figured you’d just shrug, say “It sucks to be you guys,” and take your rightful place as Second Wife and Chief of the Poetic Justice Department.

Nah. Remember, he’s being merciful to Dopers for old times’ sake, so you could go anywhere you chose. (Assuming you got past the pauper issue).

I go to Holland and carve wooden shoes. My first customer must front me the money for a block of wood and a penknife.

If this were just fantasy, I would move to Costa Rica, Thailand, or maybe parts of Mexico. I like France a lot too although I don’t speak French and I think their politics are weird. My ancestry is mainly (exclusively?) from the British Isles going back hundreds of years but I don’t think that I could swing it. Moving to New England made me realize how important good weather is to me.

Back to reality, I have two young children and half of my wife’s family is Canadian so we would just move there, laugh at the funny colored money and not much else, and the be done with it.