I have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend like 3 months ago. The guy refuses to move and only pays rent sporadically. He is not on the lease. He is abusive and has grabbed/hit her several times, kicked a dent in her car, etc. This is in NC. I need to know the best way to get him out of there. I don’t want him to retaliate against her when she takes action.
Should she get a protective order, asked the apartment manager to evict him, or both?
Here’s what I’d do: Call the cops. Have apartment manager verify to the cops that she is the sole, legal lease holder.
Cops will stand by while he is packing up his shit and clearing out.
Not much can be done to prevent this if he’s crazy. If he’s sane, the knowledge that the police are familiar with the situation should deter retaliation.
Good luck!
See about her getting a temporary restraining order, too. At the very least, if he shows up again, the police response can be more extensive.
As I understand it since he has been living there some period of time he has to be evicted, the cops can’t just make him leave. I think it might be different if she has a 50-B taken out (restraining order)
Barring a quirk in N C law, I read it like this:
It’s her place. He’s there as her invited guest. When a guest refuses to leave, you get the cops to throw him out. Should be end of story.
If there is something in N C law that makes this not so, then give us a link so we’ll have something to work with. If it’s hear-say, you’ll want to know that too.
Normally, a guest stays or leaves at the pleasure of the rightful tenant. A legal, rent-paying tenant probably has some rights, but the way you’re telling it, this guy sometimes pays HER some rent, sometimes not. I think he’s legally a guest, with no rights of notice.
IANAL.
Even squatters and deadbeats have legal standing during the eviction process. If she just dumps his stuff on the curb and changes the locks while he’s out, she could be putting herself in legal jeopardy.
Does he actually hit her? Has he done it in front of witnesses? An assault charge may motivate him to go leech off of some other Tarheel hottie instead.
In a lot of jurisdictions, it’s not so simple (I can’t speak for NC). It’s a grey area that gets very messy. If you have a guest staying on your premises, and that guest has reason to assume it’s a long-term arrangement, you can’t simply toss them out into the street. Let’s say I meet an American on the internet. We hit it off and become online friends. He or she comes to Australia, and I’ve agreed to put them up in my house for a month or two. Then, on the first night, it’s apparent we can’t stand each other. I will have a certain legal difficulty in simply throwing that person out into the street with their suitcase in the middle of winter at midnight.
She also might try contacting the local women’s shelter (if there is one) for advice.
A couple of questions, for the legal dopers to answer:
I assume that the guy has a key to the apartment, given to him by the lessee. Does that give him some status as a legitimate resident?
And since he pays some rent , then isn’t the exchange of money a form of contractual arrangement ?
So isn’t this guy more than just an “invited guest”?
to the OP–check the nearest university that has a law school. They usually offer a free legal advice service by the law students, which may give you some help.
I think I left myself a little wiggle-room with this statement: " Barring a quirk in N C law, I read it like this:, but anyway…
If the cops won’t move him out, it’s a pretty good indication that he may have some legal rights.
If he does have some legal rights, here’s what I’d do:
Change the locks, pile his stuff outside and let him seek out a lawyer. Chances are he won’t.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Many dopers will gasp at the above suggestion, being as he has some RIGHTS and stuff, but the simplest solution is often the best.
Does anybody really think an abuser wants to get legalities involved?
IANAL (etc.)
Step 1: Get a restraining order!
Walk into any court in the US and the first question the judge will (should) ask is, “Do you have a restraining order?” If the answer is no, then they simply will not take you seriously if you claim you are in fear from the other party.
Step 2: Throw his ass out!
What is more important to your friend: her safety or his possible rights? Get the RO, call the cops, and toss his shit into the streets. Make it clear to the cops why you are doing this and with any luck, they’ll come over to explain to Mr. Abuser that if your friend so much as stubs her toe getting out of bed that he is suspect number one and he’ll be sitting in jail for a while.
If he does insist on rental rights, try negotiation like, “You get the hell out of here or I’ll file a domestic abuse charge and you can get free room and board at county lockup.” Make sure she has A) the police or B) 4 or 5 of her biggest male friends around as she discusses the issue.
If you’re not with a law enforcement agency or the district attorney’s office, I advise you to seek qualified local legal counsel regarding the matter of threatening anyone with a criminal complaint conditioned upon their behavior.
In some locales I might worry that a young lady following your advice would be engaging in blackmail. I am NOT an attorney licensed to practice in North Carolina, so anyone thinking of issuing this threat should probably consult with one.
PS- If she’s in Durham, has she asked Robert Nifong to charge the guy with rape?
Okay, that last bit was over the line, and I apologize.
By the way, I second contacting the local women’s shelter. The folks working there can probably tell her everything she needs to know, and off of the top of their heads, complete with local knowledge of how the local cops and court system customarily operate.
There are guys out there who know how to make things diffucult for such an abusive boyfriend.
I’m NOT talking about hitmen or legbreakers…though the legality of their actions may be in the gray area.
Off-duty law enforcement officers, private eyes, and husbands, brothers and fathers of women who had to endure bullies who are used to getting what they want through terror.
They stalk the stalkers, and are certainly more substantial than a little piece of paper.
The local women’s shelter probably know of a group in the area, and local athorities…which officiallyforbid such vigilantism…may choose to turn a blind eye to those on the side of the angels.
LOL