After an incident yesterday and some soul searching over night, I’ve made a resolution to myself. I figure if I post it here for all the world to see and remind myself occasionally by rereading this thread, I’ll hold myself to it. So my resolution is:
Put the sarcasm on the back burner. If I can’t say something nice, shut up.
You see, I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. It gets me in trouble when I say things that are meant in a humorous way but are heard in a way I did not intend. After reviewing an encounter from last night, I discovered that I could have made the same points in a nice way but I let my sarcasm get in the way of the message. So I’m going to try really hard not to do that anymore.
You know, thewiz, that isn’t a bad idea. I’ll give it a go. I too make too many smarmy remarks just cause it seems easier than being sincere or earnest.
I know what you mean, too. Now that I think about it, I can come off as a real asshole when it’s just supposed to be a funny remark that I’m making. I’m glad you posted that. It got me thinking.
Good for you; I made the same resolution a few years back, when I was struck by how totally, destructively irony-soaked our culture has become. It’s refreshing to say what you mean (whether they’re complimentary or not), and others will find it refreshing too.
Not that I’m Mr. Sunshine; I just don’t use sarcasm (much) to bash things that need it.
Doesn’t having a cutting, dry wit just simply go with being from Texas, thewiz??
Of course, if it’s hurting people, then bravo to you for recognizing it and attempting to stop.
Me? I resolve to not take work so seriously and enjoy life more. Will I succeed? I don’t know - I’ve only been making THAT resolution for 25 years. But I’m getting a little better at it in recent years…
I think the difference with sarcasm is that body language and tone make all the difference in the world. Sometimes people don’t pick up on the tone and take the words at face value. Then you get into the “That’s not what I meant…” mode and have to apologize for something that you didn’t really mean. I think I’ve recognized the fact that it’s just easier to say what I mean clearly rather than trying to joke my way around it and having the “joke” taken the wrong way. So far, I’ve been doing OK but I know it’s something I gotta watch out for.
Good for you thewiz. I made the same resolution years ago. I get better each year, but still find that old patterns are easy to fall into (occasionally.) I just keep trying.