Well, you obviously don’t know the trick: append the words “between the sheets” to any fortune to render it meaningful. Or at least more fun. Other people use “on the pleasure planet Raisa,” but that’s not as easy to remember.
You sir, obviously do not comprehend the art form.
Let me tell you about the hard work involved in rising up the corporate cookie ladder. I started my internship researching Lucky Lotto numbers. They are NOT placed willy nilly, let me tell you.
In time I rose to the ranks of “head fortune writer”.
Do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to type on such a tiny type writer?
I bet you don’t.
How easy it must be to eat the cookie and mock my art as you leave it siphoning up the remaining grease of the Moo Goo Gai Pan.
Ingrate.
Why, you should be glad this isn’t the pit!
just for your cold additude, I am writing a fortune now that I PROMISE you will be in your next meal at the Happy Golden Panda Chinese restaurant.
It will read:
You will have a raging case of the squirts tonight.
If you had the fortune program, as included on most UNIX-like systems, you could get gems like this:
Doesn’t that just hit you where you live?
This is not for family consumption:[spoiler]
There was a young fellow of Greenwich
Whose balls were all covered with spinach.
He had such a tool
It was wound on a spool,
And he reeled it out inich by inich.
But this tale has an unhappy finich,
For due to the sand in the spinach
His ballocks grew rough
And wrecked his wife’s muff,
And scratched up her thatch in the scrimmage.[/spoiler]It’s poetry, man!
Finally, there are the AI Koans. You either get them or you don’t (A lot like LISP, actually.):
I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginzberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!
