We went out for Chinese last night. When the bill came, we received the std fortune cookie for each diner.
Mine had 3 fortunes in the same cookie, all the same.
You will receive gold coins by the bushel
To be safe, I plan on buying some lottery tickets today… although I did not win the dreamhome lottery which was last night (I thought it may have been an omen).
Any other badly translated fortunes that anyone wants to share?
Retain your interest while the lights are active
I have one of the oddest fortune cookie stories.
It happened when I was in college. I had recently broken up with my GF of two years and had started dating a new woman. It was really just a rebound relationship for me - and her as well as she had also been recently dumped (I guess misery loves company). To be honest, I really was still in love with my previous GF and she, admittedly was still mourning the end of her previous relationship. In short, we were perfect for eachother at that time. After we had been together for a while it became clear that, while we enjoyed eachother’s company, our relationship wouldn’t last much beyond the end of the semester. Neither of us had actually SAID this, it was more or less just understood. Neither of us were “ready” to love again at that point, as we were too caught up in grief over our previous affairs. However, we were still not ready to end it (basically the sex was too good).
So where does the fortune cookie come in?
Well, one night we got take out Chinese and brought it back to her dorm room. After the main course we broke open the customary fortune cookies…
Her’s read: “He loves you as much as he can, but he can’t love you very much.”
By the way…
If you’re out there Lisa, and you happen to read the above post, drop me an email. It would be great to hear from you again.
Personally, I liked the Simpsons ones …
Geese Can Be Troublesome
And then one of Homer’s: ** Your store is being robbed, Apu**
My mom has a tradition of ending the fortune with the phrase “between the sheets.” She got the idea from a friend a few years ago. So, for example, Bernse would have the fortune “You will receive gold coins by the bushel, between the sheets.”
She told me and my date about this one night during dinner. My fortune, you ask?
All great men have other men behind them.
Why me God? Why not someone else?