I think everyone hates that song.
Cameo appearance.
I was playing off of an exchange Living_In_Hell and I had in another thread -
](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14898087&postcount=12) The idea of me being a drill sergeant amused me. 
The quiet oddball who saves the day with esoteric knowledge about certain subjects.
Your daddy.
Tell your mom I woulda paid her, but I didn’t have change for a twenty.
My mom died in a tragic blimp accident.
I’m the guy who never gets the joke, and always takes everything seriously.
Now I feel bad.
Cliff Clavin, even though I look more like Norm.
(It’s a line from the Naked Gun. It’s a movie that we watched in study hall last week.) My mom is alive and well and just home from a lovely island vacation.
I’m the Mary Sue/Gary Stu, a character obviously meant to portray the writer himself.
Read my post again. Slooooooowly.
I’m the somewhat shifty but basically nice older uncle that wants to crash on the couch for a few days. I always get the kids in trouble with my shenanigans but somehow I get them back out of trouble with only a few misdemeanor charges.
And we’re all wiser for the experience.
Zerolf
Strange and hideous, from a freak fall down Mount Rushmore.
An unrepentant graffiti artist, and a bit of a sociopath.
Always resentful of kindly Florez.
I’m the Musashi-type who is disillusioned because all his foes are idiots and unworthy adversaries. Also, I’m really modest. And even though the show doesn’t support it, I often break character and mug at the camera.
I’m the guy playing the saxaphone*
*I’m just mimicing to the soundtrack, actually.
I’m the one who’s been around forever but nobody remembers. 
I’m the wacky neighbor who drops in without knocking.
Absolutely everywhere else in my life I’m “The Perfesser” I like hanging around here because there’s enough smart folks about that I get to be Gilligan for a while.
I’m just one of the extras, crossing the street in the background.
I’m like Phoebe from Friends. I always say what I think, the fact that some of those things are rock stupid is just the price I pay for honesty