Fox does a story about a murderer, showing footage of him being led away by police while a 15-year-old boy shouts, “You fucker! You killed my mother!”
Reporter: “A mother killed in cold blood…”
10:15 PM
Anchor: “We’d like to warn our viewers about the next story. It contains images of the ‘flier.’ If you have sensitive children, please ask them to leave the room now.”
Reporter: “Vandalism has taken a new turn in the city [slight dramatic pause] as pranksters have been taping up all the fingers on the traffic lights [dramatic pause] except the middle one.*”
[picture of one such traffic light shown–a giant red middle finger]
Reporter: “What do you think about this crime?”
Person on Street #1: “I don’t understand why someone would do that. It’s so stupid.”
Person on Street #2: “It’s immature.”
Person on Street #3: “It’s really dumb. Cause if a person’s on the corner, they won’t know when to cross…”
Reporter: “It’s also important to note that it’s not so easy to just stick the masking tape on the light. One must climb up the pole to get to it.”
[reporter starts to climb up the pole]
Anchor: “Stay tuned for our special report on a double murder…”
Ahem.
WTF?!
A segment in which the middle finger is shown requires a special warning, but stories about grisly murders are ok?
and
It’s not like people will actually be confused by the covering up of the stop lights. (“Gee, I don’t know whether to stop or be insulted.”)
*Note to non-New Yorkers: The corner traffic lights in New York used to say either walk or don’t walk. A few years ago, citing lower energy costs and a clearer meaning to foreigners, the Department of Transportation decided to change the lights so that “stop” was represented by a red hand and “walk” by a yellow walking stick figure.
Those things save energy because they’re LEDs instead of incandescent bulbs, BTW. And you get the nice advantage of language-independant pedestrian traffic-control.
Not that anyone in the Great City of New York pays attention to walk signs.
Interesting. In other parts of the country, I’ve seen an orange hand and a white walking figure in use for a long time - since the 1980s IIRC. Definitely before they started using LEDs, as I’ve also seen incandescent and neon hand signals, and the white walk signals appear to still be incandescent now.
My friend says that a more compelling “don’t walk” image would be the little white stick figure being hit by a car, spurting flashing red streams of blood.
I am shocked that this wasn’t about a “Problem Solvers” report. Or was it? The most pathetic “news” I’ve ever seen. They act like a cross between mobsters and Geraldo Rivera.
I can’t agree with D_Odds that Fox is better than UPN or WB news casts. They all have their downfalls but Fox reporters always seems like they are trying to out shock the other stations.
I guess when you have an hour of station time and only 30 mins worth of real news (if you are lucky) they have to fill in the remainder with something.
And what is with that “Fox Sports Team”. Report the damn sports and go away. I don’t need your damn round table discussion when it is obvious that you don’t know what you are talking about. At least UPN (Russ and Monica) are somewhat knowledgeable (although he can be annoying).
Oh how I miss the simple days of John Rolland reading an obsure sports questions to “The Amazin” Bill Mazer.
My roommate and I used to crack UP over Fox 5 news. We both hate watching the news, but we’d watch Fox 5 for the simple absurdity of it. There was one story about a bride or a groom who’d been killed on their wedding day, and they began the story with “There’s no honeymoon for these two!” in the most jovial voice - we were hysterical watching it.
I think they’re the anti-news. At least they’re entertaining!
I love Fox 5 News (in DC), particularly during sweeps months. That’s when they do all their bizarre, try and scare you stories, like “is there fecal matter in your clothes dryer?”
Don’t forget “what’s all that pink stuff in the skies over DC?” It’s the aurora borealis, you morons! And I missed the damn thing because you were being coy!
I think if I saw a crossing signal flipping me the bird it would crack me up and make my day. I wish I’d been a man on the street for that interview session.
Insert “weather team” and “meteorologists” in the appropriate places. I don’t care about the fronts. Just tell me whether I should go out in light clothing, a sweater, and/or carry an umbrella. I don’t care WHY the weather is acting the way it is. I just want to know what it’s doing, which can be covered in half a minute. Two minutes, if you want to give a long-range forecast.
