But then what will he have to bitch about?
He’ll find something, I’m sure.
Piffle. By those lights no threads should ever be closed.
Also, I should be, I think, notorious for my impatience with threads that are the trend of the day. Also, also, I
Let’s apply those rules to the thread in question. It broke the rules by being a joke thread in IMHO and not MPSIMS. Stop at first clause of your scenario. Analysis done. Thread closed.
That was fun. What else ya got? 
ETA: Ooh, can we finish Frank’s sentence for him? I think the next part is . . . am a(n). . . .
big…
(be careful, very careful)
cheese eater?
You know what? I don’t even remember what it was. My computer went nuts, and by the time it was working again, it was an hour later. “Forget it,” said I.
They say the mind is the first thing to go.
A chip? Bah. He’s got a whole order of 'em, and a double portion of fish.
I just want to say that I had only a passing interest in this thread, but it was the tab that I had open when my AVG Update started. When that happens, I am able to scroll up and down, but I can’t change tabs until the update is complete. It’s only about three minutes, but that’s an awful long time to be reading this thread. I now have a better understanding of the expression “Waste of Bandwidth” and I offer this as a caution to other Firefox/AVG users. Be careful what you open: you may be stuck with it for a while.
Zambini57 is an object lesson? 
Frank, I don’t believe you really think that waiting a couple hours before closing threads is the same as never closing them,* and I wouldn’t think impatience and notoriety are qualities to which a moderator would aspire.
If you’re closing a thread because it breaks a rule or is hateful or duplicates another thread or has become unmanageable somehow, speed is just a fabulous thing to have. But if you’re shutting it down merely because it bores and irritates you and you don’t expect other posters to be able to make anything worthwhile out of it, I think waiting is a better idea. The collective wit of the SDMB might pleasantly surprise you. Look, in this thread, at the creativity with which Heffalump and Roo invented a nonexistent IMHO rule, just for the sake of posting something. There’s a successful thread now about chewing pencils, for crying out loud.
*Unless of course the end of your post was a clever and funny way of implying that delay would prevent you from closing threads, on account of a pathologically short attention span, in which case my hat’s off to you
The thread was a “me too” joke thread, and Frank closed it down only because he got to it before I did.
An now you’re pissed because Zamboninini didn’t give you the point in the mod Pit standings. Gotta be quicker on the close button, kiddo.
I told you why I closed it, in my first post in this thread.
Really? Haha, sucks to be you. But seriously I don’t even realize AVG is updating until I get the box that says update complete. No interference with my firefox webbrowsing experience. Sounds to me like you got shafted a bit.
Why, oh why, has this guy not been banned already? It’s obvious he didn’t change his behavior since he came back from his suspension.
The guy had a disagreement about a moderation decision, and raised it in the Pit. I don’t understand the call for banning him. Sure most people disagree with him on this topic, but what’s wrong with being wrong?
If you disagree with the decision not to ban him already maybe you should start a thread about it.
Yup, you did, but I thought it only sporting to give you another chance, because the answer you gave was pretty silly.
First off, your assumption that it could only be a joke thread was not necessarily sound. “Never” might have been a little hyperbolic, but people who don’t see or haven’t seen the sky for long periods of time include prisoners, Seattleites, people who work indoors in northern latitudes, and the blind. Second, if jokes had worked their way into the thread, or even came to dominate it, that still doesn’t violate any rule I’ve ever heard of. Third, it’s a pretty lame excuse to say that the thread was killed because you were too lazy to shift it to MPSIMS (the best move, maybe) and not lazy enough to leave it alone (the second-best option). That just makes you seem not only dumb but dangerous, and I think most of us can agree that you’re not both, and I could still maintain that you’re neither.
At least you’re not still arguing that waiting a few hours before closing a thread is the same as not closing it at all.
Seattleites and people who work indoors in northern latitudes don’t see the sky? What do you call that thing over our heads? It’s still the sky even if it’s dark or covered in clouds. Prisoners and the blind, well, only those who were born blind haven’t seen the sky, which is what the OP of the closed thread was asking. It was obviously a spoof thread of the myriad other threads ongoing. I think Frank was sick of them dominating the forum, getting progressively dumber and lamer. They close game threads and joke threads too when they get out of hand.
While yes, I agree the thread could have been left open longer, I also can’t see Pitting the Mod who closed it either. If there was a valid thread idea there, I think the thread’s OP might have opened this Pit thread. As it stands, the OP of this Pit thread doesn’t seem to be complaining based on the actual content of the closed thread… because there really wasn’t any.