Freud would be so proud

I don’t like games in relationships. I don’t understand why everyone can’t just speak his or her mind and just be honest. Why must we wait 48 hours after the first date to call, else our desperation shows? Why must we play coy, which only leads to misunderstandings, rather than say “I really like you, wanna kiss?” Oh sure, it’s blunt and completely inelegant. But it gets right to the point, doesn’t it? No possibility of mistaking your intentions.

But I’ve lately come to realize that there’s one girl I’m friends with whose relationship with me is built entirely upon psychological manipulation. What has surprised me is that, rather than avoid the situation altogether, I rise to the challenge and fight back with my own Molotov cocktails of id and ego. I actually enjoy the battles.

Political correctness aside, she is, for lack of a better word, a JAP. She wants the world handed to her on a platter. She takes and takes but never thinks of giving. She hasn’t fully integrated the phrase “thank you,” into her repertoire, handing it out as sparingly as a precious ruby.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I was in one of my patented hyperactive rushes and she asked if I had ADD. Well, truth be told, the answer is no. I have, however, taken both Ritalin and Prozac in the past. But both had absolutely no effect, either good or bad. I didn’t actually get that far into my explanation as she cut me off mid-first sentence with “OK, OK, I don’t really care about your life story.”

It was at that point I realized she didn’t care. She didn’t care about my stories or my opinions or my outlook on life or…well, me. So why, I thought, should I have any emotional investment in her? And at that, I started ignoring her.

I referred to her as “high maintenance,” in front of her, which she flatly denied. Is she high maintenance? Let’s face it folks, she makes a BMW look like Hot Wheels. There’s an entire backstory I’m not even delving into but let’s just say I was annoyed with it all. Never really angry, just sick of the attitude. Sick of it all.

Sometimes I’d shrug off her comments, other times I’d make a swarmy sarcastic remark. And when she’d remark “you’re awfully quiet this evening,” I’d stare at her and say point blank, matter of factly “that’s because you hate me and tell me to shut up every time I speak,”

She’d get flustered and backtrack and say “I…oh you know I don’t hate you,” to which I’d shrug and say “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you do.” Again, I really wasn’t too upset with her. I was just tired of it all and felt that cutting straight to the truth would be the best thing in this relationship. I was always about honesty.

But a funny thing happened. She started becoming friendlier towards me. Oh she’d still get grossed out when I made a lewd sexual comment…but she’d invariably come back for more. Now maybe all the honesty I had laid out cut straight to the core and she realized the error of her ways. Or maybe she’s just someone who enjoys the thrill of the chase. Someone who could push back.
And boy could I push.

In fact, the more I pushed, the more she felt the need to pull. But if I let up and pulled close, she’d be the one with her arms thrown up ready to block any and all advances.

It’s turned it into such a complex relationship. In essence, being completely honest has created a psychological game all its own. How did this happen? Who’s winning? I don’t know. The very idea that we both could be manipulating each other simultaneously is somewhat invigorating.

One friend tells me that we’re going to get into an all out smackdown one of these days. Another one says it’s just a matter of time before we end up sleeping together. Is either right? I have no clue. Maybe neither are. But I have the sneaking suspicion that they both could be.

I still don’t like games. But on this particular relationship, I don’t think I’m willing to fold my cards just yet.

Here’s what I think will happen: The 2 of you will be together and she will say, in an offhand manner, “Wanna fuck?” you, for whatever reason, will say, “Yeah,” and then you 2 go at like bunnies for 4 hours after which it all ends in tears, screaming and objects being thrown and broken.

Something to look forward to, natch?

Ah, yes. But no. For strangeness is twofold. That should be a fortune cookie message.

First, I doubt she’d ask. I think she’s happy in this game we play where one must always be in control. If we had sex then we’d both want the same thing at the same time. That would destroy the very balance we both seem to hold dear.

Second, would I say yes? Most likely yes. But what if I choose that playing the game is more fun? Would I really be that stupid? I mean, sometimes I amaze myself at my sheer idiocy.

Or maybe the sex leads to even bigger mind games later on? I think this is the most obvious solution. One which I could propose to her if we both wish to “kick it up a notch.”

I’ll pass on this bit of advice: Never have sex with someone crazier than yourself.

Yeah, but then you gotta hope other people don’t have the same policy.

Or look for someone who has the exact same level of craziness as yourself.

From a purely neutral standpoint, it looks from HERE as though sleeping with this girl would be incredibly unhealthy, and remaining friends with someone who only enjoys your company for the head games it provides is…

I dunno, but doesn’t sound like fun, at any rate.

Then again, what do I know?

Hungry hungry hamsters ate my reply from the…what would it be called? Three days in the sun? Weening period? Fah, whatever. My post is gone.

Anyway, Hamadryad, this girl has worked her way into my core group of friends. So it’s not as if I see her on the side, but if I wish to hang out with anyone else, chances are she’ll be there too. So my choices are to a) stop hanging out with my friends b) start a civil war (I call blue uniforms!) or c) tolerate it as only I know how.
I choose C. Is it my fault the only way I seem to know how is through patently ridiculous mind games?