Friend talkin **** about my daughter

Last night was bitter-sweet to say the least. I lost my best friend over him running his mouth about wanting to have sex with my underage daughter. I told him that I had let her know about it. He said that he would punch her in the face if she confronted him. I know this is just the short and sweet of it but I want to know what I should do about this.

I’ve known him for a few years and he has told several girls that he will knock them out every time he gets upset at them, but this is my kid now! I am a big dude but I’m not going to jail over this, and now I’m starting to feel like some kind of punk that should have beat his ass but didn’t. My other friends were there and say that I’m the better man, but I feel like a failure.

As of now communication is broken clean.

It is best to keep away from violent people. Young daughters or no.

There’s your problem right there.

You knew what he was, but you still chose to keep his as a friend. You have no-one to blame but yourself.

Yeah… well… you’re right… (sigh). I’ve know the guy’s a caveman but it just hit home, literally.

I don’t have any advice to give, but I, too, think you were the better man for not kicking his ass right then and there. It feels sour, but you did the right thing by ending the friendship. If I had a daughter, I would have thought what he said crossed the line, too, even if she were of a consenting age. Being a juvenile just makes it that much worse, IMO.

that tends to be what it takes to make people “see the light.”

You did the right thing. I wouldn’t go as far as to say you should blame yourself for keeping this guy on as a friend, but he certainly had some less-than-endearing qualities that should have hoisted a couple red flags long before this.

In any case, not kicking his ass and simply breaking it off clean was the best approach. Thrashing him but good could have given him a martyr card to play; as it is now he just has one less place to hang out and possibly some time to think about what the hell he’s doing.

What exactly have you told your daughter about this?

He has said stuff to her face in the past and she told me. I let the cat out of the bag last night when he started about her to me and my friends (big balls, huh?) and the shit hit the fan. She said that she was gonna set him straight and that’s when he said to me that he would punch her in the face if she ran her mouth to him.

Oh, she’s 16 and he’s 22.

If there were witnesses, why not get the police involved in some way? I’m not sure what constitutes “terroristic threats” in these circumstances, but at least you could have some witness statements and official record for whenever the guy does have a run in with the law and the judge is deciding on his sentence. Or, god forbid, if he does attack or stalk your daughter, you’ve got that much more ammunition to put him away.

And if he talks like that in front of your “friends” and they didn’t do anything, don’t worry about losing their “friendship” either.

Easy now, What would you have done? not all my friends are the type to pounce. The two who were there got the hell out of dodge. They were shocked.

I would at least have said something, like, “dude, that’s Claude’s daughter, what the fuck is wrong with you?” and then, “you just threatened her in front of witnesses, asshole.”

What Alessan has said above.

I can’t understand why you would remain friends with someone who seems to have a fantasy about underage girls.

Also- your daughter is 16 so I guess you may be approaching 40- certainly around 35. A friend like that who is 22?

It’s not so much the fantasies about sleeping with underage girls (although it’s also that), it’s the fantasies about *punching underage girls in the face. *

Yeah, I wasn’t even sure if the OP meant underage girls or not. But the idea of threatening to punch women, especially if you do it because they don’t like you? That’s bad enough that it almost raps around enough to be stupidly sad.

Depending on where the OP lives, his daughter may not even technically be underage, despite still being a minor, and thus off limits for normal society. The law can be weird.

Please tell me if I not following this correctly. You have a 16-year old daughter, presumably making you close to 40 years old. I don’t mean to minimize the situation, but why are you hanging around a 22-year old? Running your mouth about girls and macho postering, while immature, is often the type of behavior you see/expect from say, a 22-year old. Particularly if he has not actually physically assaulted any of the women he “threatens”, I have to imagine his “threats” are just idle talk from am immature kid. You are the father of a teenager. I would expect you should want to hang out with a more mature group of people closer to your age, and with similar responsibilities and expectations.

Furthermore, you daughter is 16. She is basically an adult, so you can expect that adult men will likely be attracted to her, and will theoretically want to date her even if she is technically not of legal age. That doesn’t mean your “friend” should disrespect her or you, but it should be noted that him (at 22) being attracted to woman six years his junior is probably less out of the ordinary than a person of your age having a 22-year old as a best friend.

Something I don’t understand. He’s either come on to her or threatened her, or both, directly to her face before, and she’s told you about it, and you didn’t say or do anything about it until … when?

Did you confront him, in front of a bunch of other people, at which point he repeated his shit? Did he start repeating his shit and then you told him your daughter had already spoken to you about it?

I’m trying to figure why this particular confrontation happened in the time and place it did.

I thought you appreciated it when people fessed up to the truth about the horny fucks they are. Not when it’s your own kid, I guess.

To be honest, the only thing that bullies like this understand is a very good hammering, plus a promise of more for the future, at 22 he has a lot to learn, 'bout time he started learning it, the easy or the hard way.

Come across a number of bullies, they often fold up when put on the spot. A bully that a threat to women, hmmm, he needs a reminder somehow of why this is not appropriate behaviour, perhaps his circle of friends should know what he is, and those in his own family etc etc etc

He’s probably a sex case anyway - wonder how that would go down with his friends.