If he could board that would be perfect, it’s what fixed my kid, ultimately.
Thanks for looking after him, and best of luck.
Ugh. Wish you all were closer so I could offer suggestions about alternative schools and such. I see kids like “Eli” all of the time - they’re my students. I wish him the best and keep us posted. If you can’t get him a scholarship to that private school, see what other options are available.
I think it’s great you are making an investment in this kid, and your insight and efforts have earned my respect.
I took an 18 year old meth addict off the streets a handful of years ago. She was fresh out of rehab after having done a stint in jail and I did it because it was the right thing for me to do. It did not end as I would have chosen but it was a chance I’ve never regretted taking. No one else had ever given her one.
People mocked Hillary Clinton over “It Takes a Village”, but she was right.
Thanks all, for your encouragement. The best bet right now is to get him in some school. Boarding at the one where we have connections is extremely unlikely. However, if we can get him a scholarship for day school and find some way to get him back and forth it will be a major improvement. When our kids went there we took another local student to school and back every day. There’s a good chance someone else will step up for Eli so he could attend. He’ll end up there until at least 4PM and wouldn’t get home til around 5. I’m thinking he’ll stop here to get dinner and do his homework before going back with his father. I feel confident that school will do the trick for him. But if that doesn’t work out my wife now works with someone who ran a large charter school in Providence and is familiar with all the local private schools that deal with students in special cases. Perhaps there’s another one that will work out better and maybe even provide boarding.
I really need to figure out whether Eli doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his father anymore, or if he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about everything. That makes a big difference in what can be done. If it’s just his father and their terrible situation (not to mention whatever the effects of a missing mother are), I think he’s in good shape if we can get him into other environments, and he can see a future for himself. If it’s the other, I’m not sure what chances he has. Something like the military may be his only alternative to a life worse than his father’s.
if you can get the kid to open up to you, find out his dreams.
Tripolar you are doing a good thing by being there for this kid.
I just want you to know that he will likely start misbehaving for you, too. Not because he’s a bad kid but because he’s scared of anyone getting close. He lost his mom and his dad isn’t connected with him.
Just make sure that when he does, you stay there for him. It is important for these kids to know that someone is there to help them.
I would also recommend you get him to counselling. It is far better if the parent does the counselling with the child but in this case, this seems unlikely.
I don’t know what services you have in your area but we have a counselling service that is provided free of charge in our area that is geared towards children. (They specialize in trauma therapy. He has had trauma in the loss of his mom.)
It looks like (from some basic internet research) that this is done through the Department of Children, Youth and Families in Rhode Island. I would give them a call and explain the situation. They should not force you to give the child’s name or your name if you are just asking for information.
We have just one degree of seperation from the head of DCYF (It’s Rhode Island, we have just one degree of seperation from everybody). Speaking to someone today, we’ve found that intervention by DCYF seems inevitable, and that may be the best way to get something done. There’s another school that boards that the state will pay for if that occurs. This isn’t going to be easy, but I’m going to do whatever I can to be there for him. I hate the idea of hoping for state intervention, but that may be the only way in the end to get this situation changed.
Kid + soccer ball + wall to kick it up against = a lot of stress worked out quickly.
Quadruply so if you slightly deflate said ball. 