For the second time QS-girl (9) and QS-boy (6) have complained to me about their mother’s live in boyfriend laying his hands on them. Well, mostly on my son.
There are no bruises or marks and it doesn’t seem a daily occurance. But it does happen from time to time along with him raising his voice at them for reasons that seem completely absurd. i.e. milk splashed on the floor because the top wasn’t properly sealed, ketchup not put away after dinner, running & chasing one another while playing, and things like that.
Now my kids are not angelic but they are really good kids and do exceptionally well in school and have lots of friends and extended family who loves them. To say nothing of how much I adore them as does their mother.
So when I was asking them what they had for dinner last night (at their mom’s) so I didn’t make them the same dinner, QS-boy told me he got into trouble for spilling the milk. He got yelled at by dick. Now I wasn’t pleased but I could understand an adult losing patience with kids that are not even his. But then QS-girl said it happens often and that he sometimes graps QS-boy and squeezes him by the arm.
At this point I’m seeing red and doing my best to remain calm and ask for more details.
I then leave the room and from behind a closed door call their mother and ask what the hell is going on. She swears up and down that she doesn’t know anything about it and that they must be exagerating or lying.
My kids, like most kids, will sometimes tell a lie about how many cookies they had or if they’ve read for x minutes, like they should, etc… But they are not habitual liars and this is not the first time they dropped this bomb on me. The last time was about a year ago. Same sort of detail and level of aggression from dick.
Last time I did nothing except talk sternly to their mother. Because I hadn’t heard anything more about it, I thought it was dealt with (though she denied it last time as well).
So why again? Why now? Can I afford to not escalate this to dick’s attention (I can corner him at will without the kids there). What if the kids are not exactly telling the truth? And if so, in service of what? I see them every other day and the time we spend is never short changed or straigned. We always have fun together. So if they are “exagerating” then why? And if they are not and their mother is lying, how can I find out what’s really going on?
What do I do?