I’ve done this twice. 17 year-old female, if that helps.
The first was…well, it was a largely horrible relationship, probably because it was my first legitimate one and I didn’t know what I was doing and we dated out of convienance. The second thus far has been very, very good, and is with not just my former friend, but my best friend, Mudshark.
Guy 1:
- How long were you “friends first”? We were friends with the same people, and aquaintances with each other first, and became friends over the course of a month or two. After that we were friends for another three or four months.
2)How was the transition accomplished, i.e. Who suggested the idea of being more than “friends”, and how? Well, he and a few mutual friends of ours all were dateless for Valentine’s Day, so we planned to go to the movies together rather than sit at home and do nothing. The other people all cancled, and he called me and we went together–as friends though. He called me a couple times after that, talked with me at parties more than usual, and eventually he asked if we could be “more than friends” in an e-mail, a method I normally wouldn’t reccomend. It worked that time though.
3)How did it work out? Not well. We were never really really good friends before, so I didn’t know as much about him as one might expect. He was a tremendously large momma’s boy, had a very quick temper, and didn’t have much else going for him. I’d dated him mainly because he was funny and I’d thought he was a nice guy, and because he seemed interested, when most other guys had just seemed intimidated. We broke up after another of my former friends went after him, then they broke up, he whined and appologized and I agreed to see him again, unexclusively, against my better judgment. (In my defense, I’d just been diagnosed with depression–the real deal here, it runs in my family and everything) and was trying to find a suitable anti-depressant,. I wasn’t in my right mind…or so I tell myself ;)). Eventually he broke up with me again, after becoming extremely stand-offish for no other reason than that we’d had an awkward sexual experience. (Yeah, “awkward sexual experience.” I’m leaving it at that).
Mudshark:
1)How long were you “friends first”? A fairly long time. We were friends for a year and a half total, best friends for at least six months.
2)How was the transition accomplished, i.e. Who suggested the idea of being more than “friends”, and how? Well, technically he did, in that he asked me to date him, but it was building in advance for a long time. We did everything together, knew almost everything about each other, and a month or so before, after it became evident we liked each other (though neither of us knew what to do), I cut his hair, we went to Homecoming together, and eventually I offered to teach him how to kiss. A few weeks after the kissing incident we were alone in his bedroom listening to music before some of our other friends showed up to watch movies, and he officially asked. It was considerably overdue, but in some ways I’m glad we waited as long as we did.
3)How did it work out? So far, so good. The only real change from when we were “just friends” is that we now get each other off and stare at each other cheesily for long periods of time (despite priviously stating that we’d never cheesily stare at people we’re dating). We can still talk about anything (like, which musician would you rather have sex with, Grace Slick or Stevie Nicks, and it’s perfectly okay [in fact, it’s encouraged cos it’s stimulating conversation)]. On the twenty-first, we’ll have been dating officially for 5 months.
Anyway, Good luck, 3.14, even if my reply did nothing to effect the statistics either way, what with the one point for each side thing and all.
followed by an “official” let’s be girlfriend/boyfriend talk.