Friends with Benefits in the GLBT community?


Yes, I got to thinking again, and as occasionally happens a theory on human relationships has push itself forth. Now instead of jumping to my end point, I’m trying to validate some of my basic assumptions before I find out how totally messed up I am.

So… I’m asking anyone who identifies as being part of the GLBT community if they think that relationships that could be best classified as Friends with Benefits, or Bed Buddies are more frequent or possibly just more accepted in the GLBT community than they are in the hetrosexual community?

Also for those who GLBT identify… How do you feel about Friends with Benefits relationships, for yourself, or others?
From my perspective, it seems to be so, but I’m also on the outside and I know a lot of my perceptions are shaped by how the media chooses to portray members of the GLBT community. I may identify myself as likely bisexual, but so far I haven’t found a man I’m attracted to, so I can’t say I feel part of the GLBT community myself.

And for any folks that identify as hetrosexual who want to check in… How do you feel about Freinds with Benefits relationships for yourself or others, and does it make a difference if the others happen to be members of the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transexual) community?

Hopefully the moderators won’t need to move this (keep it courteous and non-pit like folks) since I did stop and think about where to put this. (originally started posting it in MPSIMS and thought this a better fit)


Posting as a self-proclaimed queer…

I’m not quite sure. I think it’s more prevalent, from my own experience, because, and here’s a huge generalization for you, GLBT people are sometimes a lot more casual about “sex”, and Friends With Benefits is convenient, especially when we’re only ten percent of the population, looking for relationships.

Just MHO.

Thanks NotWithoutRage, is a Friends with Benefits relationship considered acceptible in your experience?

I think that either a slim majority, or large minority of the hetrosexual community has had a Friends with Benefits relationship, but at least from what I can see it’s not condoned or accepted.

I consider it a wonderful form of relationship, but then again, i’m odd in a number of ways :wink:


Bisexual woman here.

Up until very recently I was maintaining two such friendships, one with each sex. However, it is probably more widespread in the GLBT community. FwB are a lot easier for some one who is not totally comfortable with their sexuality. Think about it. If you were GLBT, would you rather have an open committed relationship for which you will be mocked, hated, feared, and preached to? Or would you rather have a quiet, under-the-table sexual partner with no strings attached? I’ve never been in a serious relationship with a woman. Not because I’m “in the closet”, but because I never met a woman I wanted to spend my life with.

Most of the people I associate with, hetero and otherwise, accept FwB if it has certain conditions. Both parties must be totally honest and forthright as far as the relationship goes. Things can get very ugly if new feelings of love or jealousy are hidden. Trust me, I know. Both parties must also understand the exact purpose of the relationship.

Another bi-woman checking in, but I am happily married (to a man, in case this needs clarification).
So I have; best-friend hubby, one female friend who lives a few states away but anytime either of us is anywhere near the other we make a point to get together, two friends who are a married couple themselves, and two male friends I call “chew toy”. Trouble is, other than hubby, none live close to me, so any benefits I might get, need to be well planned.

I think as long as everyone involved knows the nature of the friendship, enjoy the benefits. I don’t know that these types of “friendships” or buddies exist strictly in the GLBT realm, as some of my friends are 100% hetero (okay, just the guys).
Crispy pretty much stated how I feel on this already, in her last paragraph so I’ll just toss in a “me too”.

[sub]Crispy, how you doing?[/sub]